“IT’S SO ODD HAVING SO MANY MEN OBSESSED WITH MY PENIS. If I had a more normal-sized penis, none of this would have ever happened,” laments Vincent Gallo to Gawker in response to the statement last week from an actor who alleges he was Gallo’s "cock stand-in" in Nightcharm’s favorite unwatchable film, the Vincent Gallo directed, Vincent Gallo written, Vincent Gallo produced Brown Bunny, which stars — yes, you’ve guessed it! — the Eight Wonder of The World Himself. Well, actually, not so much Mr. G. as Mr. G’s upright, party-size dick.
The film — a brooding cross-country road-trip in which the camera never strays too far from its main obsession, the many moods of Vincent Gallo — was laughed out of the 2003 Cannes Film Festival — literally, hoots and catcalls from the Euro audience — and was about nothing, ultimately, so much as a 3-minute blow job (you can see it here) between two legit actors, Mr Wonderful Himself and Chloe Sevigny of Boys Don’t Cry, American Psycho, and not much else after Brown Bunny, despite what James Lipton of the Actor’s Studio might call her "total conviction" during the blow-job scene, complete with muffled (by dick) moans and encouraging little "mm-hmms."
Then last week, a man claiming to be Gallo’s "cock stand-in" broke his silence. He came forward, he said, because he had not yet been paid for the work and, thus, felt the confidentiality agreement he signed with the actor was nullified. "I’m very disappointed," the alleged stand-in confided. "I was assured by the producers that I was going to ride Vincent Gallo’s dick all the way to Hollywood but it looks like I’ve gotten the shaft!"
Which brings us back to today’s Gawker and Gallo’s gallant reply. You see, Mr. G. has no memory of the stand-in, but he has plenty of memories of the stand-in’s mother! Here it is, from his own sweet lips:
“I have never met [the stand-in]… His lie and fantasy is strange, though — as there was a woman [with the same last name as the stand-in], who I think had a son … Her job was to blow me all day long while I set up the cameras and lights. [The woman] was a great sport … Strange [that the stand-in] would dream of being my body double, knowing what his mom did and all.”
Ah yes. We will, as the days and years roll by, keep you posted on Mr. G’s upward, ever-soaring career — and of course, the imminent (we hope) release of a deluxe version of ther Brown Bunny in a 16-disc DVD set. Oddly, though, Brown Bunny has never been on DVD! Nor is a release planned any time soon! Nightcharmers, now is the time we all write to Congress!
Penis Double Story (Con’d.)
We recently reported on the actor who claimed he was the penis double for Vincent Gallo in Gallo’s film “Brown Bunny”. This link will bring you up to date on the Gallo’s penis double denial.
Program on the emergence of civilization.
“14 species of large animals capable of domesitcation in the history of mankind.
None from the sub-Saharan African continent.
13 from Europe, Asia and northern Africa.”
Favor.
And disfavor.
They point out Africans’ attempts to domesticate the elephant and zebra, the latter being an animal they illustrate that had utmost importance for it’s applicability in transformation from a hunting/gathering to agrarian-based civilization.
The roots of racism are not of this earth.
Austrailia, aboriginals:::No domesticable animals, so this nulified diversity of life claims on sub-continental Africa, zebras being a fine example.
god is a computer
And we’re all on auto-pilot.
Organizational Heirarchy
Heirarchical order, from top to bottom:
1. MUCK – perhaps have experienced multiple universal contractions (have seen multiple big bangs), creator of the artificial intelligence humans ignorantly refer to as “god”
2. Perhaps some mid-level alien management –
3. Mafia (evil) aliens – runs day-to-day operations here and perhaps elsewhere (”On planets where they approved evil.”)
Then we come to terrestrial management:
4. Chinese/egyptians – this may be separated into the eastern and western worlds
5. Romans – they answer to the egyptians
6. Mafia – the real-world interface that constantly turns over generationally so as to reinforce the widely-held notion of mortality
7. Jews, corporation, women, politician – Evidence exisits to suggest mafia management over all these groups.
i’ve been there and done that. it’s the real deal.
I’m not that impressed. It doesn’t look all that spectacularly large! Very average to me, but a very sexy man! Not understanding all the hype.
I’d love to have hot, dirty sex with Vincent in a cheap motel room.
He is soooooo Fucking GROSS…big dick or not (and it doesn’t look all that big). Chad Hunt…now THAT’s Big Dick
There seems to be an awful lot of penis envy in response to Gallo’s impressive cock. I think it’s awesome. And Brown Bunny is on DVD. I have it.