March 27, 2005
American Idol: Why They All Suck
by John Calendo

Ben Brantley of the New York Times really nailed it this morning when he explained why all the pop voices on Broadway sound like the American Idol contestants, and why that’s totally fucked up:

"Close your eyes and listen as their larynxes stretch and vibrate with the pain of being an underdog and the joy of being really loud. Bet you can’t tell them apart. … When it’s time for a big ballad on Broadway these days, theatergoers can pretend they are still in their living rooms, basking in the synthetic adrenaline glow of their favorite TV show...

"The style of vocalizing that is rewarded on American Idol – by its panel of on-air judges and by the television audience that votes on the winners — is both intensely emotional and oddly impersonal. The accent is on abstract feelings, usually embodied by people of stunning ordinariness … Quivering vibrato, curlicued melisma, notes held past the vanishing point: the favorite technical tricks of Idol contestants are often like screams divorced from the pain or ecstasy that inspired them."

American Idol is the perfect soundtrack for the theme park we call Bush’s America.

Filed under: American Idol |  Showbiz |
2 Responses to 'American Idol: Why They All Suck'
  1. LAO remarks:

    Just saw my first American Idol while visiting in Mexico, and Ben Brantley’s comments make me happy I’m not alone!


    March 29th, 2005 at 1:27 pm
  2. victoria remarks:

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    April 4th, 2005 at 11:01 pm

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