'Roid Rage: When Needle Meets Buttock


"Disregard everything you've read about Barry Bonds for a moment, and consider his neck," writes Lou Schuler in an article on pro-athletes and steroids in Men's Fitness.

"The mere size of the thing. It looks as big as one of his rookie-year thighs... But there's something else about it that's truly startling: It appears to have tight rolls of skin on the back -- what juiced-up powerlifters call "neck hot-dogs." On Bonds, they look more like neck labia, but then again, the fact that a baseball player has anything in common with a powerlifter is remarkable."

Remarkable? Really? After 10 years of obviously "juiced up" pro-athletes like the forever hot Jose Canseco (below) and Monument Butt Mark McGwire breaking record books, thanks to their Super-Hero mass?

Shooting the juice now augments the workouts of teenage boys everywhere -- not to mention the gay Circuit-Party stars. In Canseco's recent memoir, Juiced, he claims steroid use was so common in the Majors that he openly injected steroids directly into Mark McGwire's butt in the locker room -- an image that we here at Nightcharm just can't get out of our raving minds!

Meanwhile, as reported by BBC News, a study last September of gay men in London found that anabolic steroids, which began as a way to camouflage the wasting syndrome associated with HIV, now ties with Viagra as "the recreational drug of choice," creating thriving black markets in the locker rooms of elite gay gyms. Steroid use is estimated as anywhere from "one in seven" to a staggering 50% of gay men who regularly attend gyms.

"It's not the young disco bunnies," notes Dr. Sean Cummings, who runs a gay clinic in central London. "But men going through a mid-life crisis. A lot of them tend to think it's now or never. They build their bodies up to attract a particular type of man and look a particular way."

The irony, of course, is that when you shoot yourself full of synthetic testosterone -- which is what steroids are -- testicles sometimes shrink, breasts sometimes develop, and there is that teeny matter of rampaging, paranoid shit-fits in the middle of the dance floor known as 'Roid Rage.

There's also this: The London study has identified a new psychological side-effect associated with long-term steroid use that they provocatively call "Big-o-rexia." Bigorexia is a head-trip where perfectly hunky musclemen look in mirrors and see themselves as thinner and weaker then they are. They then-- unlike nearly everyone else in the developed world -- walk around WORRIED THAT THEY ARE LOSING TOO MUCH WEIGHT!