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Trainwrecks of Summer: Live 8

by Nightcharm

What’s wrong with this photo? Actually nothing. And that’s the problem.

Mariah Carey has just left a pricey LA bistro after a glitzy awards party when she spots a homeless man in a wheelchair. What a perfect photo-op, thinks the effervescent Mariah. With photographers nearby, she wants to promote her upcoming appearance at Live 8 — a concert designed to somehow solve all the poverty and hunger in Africa. A noble goal, reasons Mariah, and one she has already made a stab at — by going on a diet, perhaps imagining that less food for Mariah means more food for Nigeria.

Live 8 logo“I’ve been dieting and exercising non-stop so I can get into the outfit I want to wear,” she has already burbled light-headedly to a reporter the week before, giving him an unfocused look of vacant bliss that we have come to expect — and yes, love — from our favorite bi-polar diva.

Now, squatting down beside the half-blind beggar, with her back turned and in no way relating to him or his melancholy expression, Mariah sucks up all the flash light in the universe as she shows off a mile of white teeth and two very sincere breasts.

Then, eyes still cast on far-off Africa, she exits in a hubbub of flashbulbs, leaving behind a trail of that special high-maintenance Mariah glitter and absolutely no remuneration for the man in the wheelchair. Surely he might have welcomed a few bucks for his next pack of Lucky Strikes but he had the misfortune of encountering the lovely Mariah on the streets of Beverly Hills and not Kuala Lumpur.

Mariah with black childAh, Mariah, still crazy after all these years, always our reliable Postergirl for All Things Fucked Up. You usher in — in this, the fifth year of our lord George W. Bush — what is shaping up to be a Summer of Trainwrecks:

Supreme Court battles, Tom Cruise freak-outs and the horror show known as Being Bobby Brown — it will be a parade of delightful calamities that Nightcharm plans to chronicle as the summer unfolds.

First up, of course, is this weekend’s often off-key Live 8 concert. Our feelings are best expressed by writer David Stubbs who on the BBC News site explained why he wouldn’t be watching this show.

I watched Live Aid.

I was depressed by the mullet-headed music…and resented being browbeaten by multi-millionaires to empty my pockets…

Live Aid had the best motives. But to pretend this emotional, ad hoc response to the complex and chronic problem of famine in Africa made a positive difference was naive, rooted in a fictional idea that rock changes the world

There was no sea change in attitudes. That wave of compassion did not stop millions voting for right-wingers like Thatcher, Bush and Kohl in subsequent elections.

Today, Africa is, if anything, worse off…

I am very uncomfortable, for example, at the prospect of Celine Dion doling out spoonfuls of pop compassion to Africa’s passive hungry.

More trainwrecks to follow. Watch this space.

  • Noodles

    Everyone in Hollywood thinks they are God’s gift to the world!!!! crazy b*itch!

  • riverboy

    This better be fake, or this is one heartless bitch that dosn’t even deserve the air she breaths. I don’t know nothin’ about Photoshop, but the light on her is much brighter than that on the man in the wheelchair… Looks doctored to me. Fuck, every time I look at that picture I just want to go out into the street and kill!

  • Stinky

    The pictures are not Photoshopped. There is video of her leaving the restaurant and posing here (requires Flash, click on “Flash Preview”):


    in the clip she simply walks away from him wihtout even glancing at him. like she just did him a huge favor by posing beside him. she walks out of a fancy restaurant in a probably ridiculously expensive dress and into a limo, and doesnt even give the poor guy a dollar?

  • Matilda

    What a media-whore she is. Luckily, she is trendy without a classic bone in her body – so her wheelchair awaits and the clock is ticking.

  • tina cooke

    “no thanks, live ate.”

  • Vito

    If she had walked right by the guy.. everyone would have said.. “Mariah Ignores the Poor ! “. She did the right thing.. mind you a little cheesy.. What was she supposed to do — bring the guy home ? Who knows maybe the guy was planted?

  • Jenny J

    If you watch that flash video that’s listed you can see that in Mariah’s stunned-dizzy world the black guy is just a prop — she could have been squatting down alongside a cobra and she would have still beamed that dazed, baby doll expression. It’s ironic that even in the final assesment of this embarrassing moment, one still feels bad, somehow (!) for Mariah. This is what happens when patients stop taking their meds.

  • Me, Myself, Irene

    Think of the pictures of Princess Diana greeting the homeless, poor, sick, etc. She was always facing them, touching them and speaking with them – not using them for a backdrop.

  • tina cooke

    I like how Kim Gordon refers to Mariah in the new issue of Spoon, “She’s….like Marylin Monroe, dumbed down.”

  • Trey O.

    Hey, this is Trey,
    Most of you people who have left there response as refering to Mariah as a self obsorbed, one of a kind BITCH… In my years in the music business, I have met and eventually worked with Mariah and ust so that all of you know, she is so much more than self obsorbed or a bitch. If only you could actually get together with her or listen to what she has to say, maybe your view would change… for example: read and listen to the lyrics of the song “Ther’s Got To Be A Way”, from her self-titled debut album, which was written by Mariah herself… And a simple FUCKING word of advice: Don’t udge a person you don’t know!!!

  • ramona mamona

    bitch Mariah Carey! i hate!!!you! !she is a bitch like every moment! fuck with ur father Mariah! asshole,bitch merda!!! u are fake…

  • The wanderer

    Ok, I watched the flash video of this incident.
    I have a good suspician that the guy was paid before the camera’s even turned on him cause when the paparazzi camera did turn on the man in the wheelchair, he was already in position as if they were waiting for Mariah to come and do the photo op.
    Then, after the pictures were taken, she turned to him and patted him on the head a bit, probably saying something to him that couldn’t be heard (because of the paparazzi chatter), before turning towards her limo.

    I’ll be willing to bet big money though that the man was paid in advance to do that photo shoot because they don’t really need to show her giving money to him on camera. However an act of that nature would make her look better as a humanitarian as well as score some positive points to all the Mariah-fans and watchers out there.

  • Gry

    God bless you, Saint Mariah. Not only do we get to be dazzled by your all-encompassing narcissism in the form of bad hair weaves, skank haute couture, desperate public displays of “Look at me! Look at me!”, music I’d rather shove a pen into my ear than endure for even a moment, shamelessly self-serving movies that are little more than love letters to yourself, and your bionic vagina, now we get to see that you really, really do care about the little people. Your bathetic, cutesy, doe-eyed, plastic, and utterly empathy-free expression (which we all know how diligently you’ve practiced over the years) just radiates all the compassion that Mother Teresa’s, like, totally old and unexfoliated visage never could.