To quote Jessica Simpson, "With nothing but a t-shirt on, I NEVER FELT SO BEAUTIFUL!"

Chains and the dog days of summer just don’t go together. Yet, you need to make an entrance at that next Hogs Gone Wild sit-down with the Flying Fists of Love Motorcycle Club. What to do, what to do!

Never fear, Nightcharmer. We rang up our favorite Fashion Dictator, Kaye Thompson from Funny Face, and she gave it to us straight:

"Ditch the pants!" came the imperious growl on the other end of our phone line to Hell. "Flash the gash! Be cool and you’ll rule in one of those new T’s from Glen Hanson that everyone is screaming about down here."

What great advice! We know a lot of you horn-dogs went wild when we ran our profile on illustrator Glen Hanson last May. A lot of you kept dreaming about how you could get one of his homo-hot ‘toon guys on your back. Or your front. Or over your face.

Now it can all be done and at the nice price of $25 per t-shirt, available here, as well as on the Glen Hanson website.

"And one more thing," Kaye Thompson said, pausing for a throaty spasm of smoker’s cough.

"I know what slobs you fashion boys are. You need to fold your Hanson T’s properly if you’re ever going to look fabulous and waif-like the way sweet Audrey Hepburn did sitting on any curb in Montmartre. Check out this devastating video on how to fold a t-shirt. A little Japanese girl shows you how. It’s mad, darling! Absolutely certifiable!"

Uh, thanks, Auntie Kaye.

And thank you, as always, Glen Hanson.