Ever wonder who answers those emails about penis enlargers? The ones that slip in under subject lines like "Nicole is worried about you!" or "Did Claudia show you this?" And then, with nary a Nicole or Claudia in sight, the email takes off on flights of the most god-awful pidgin English, admonishing "all loving men" to "pleasuring her bigger. She deserves to be happy, doesn’t she?"

Well, that she does. All it takes is a big ole horse cock. (more…)

We’re shocked! Shocked!

Seems all those guys “on the down-low” — you know, the ones with wives, the ones who take off their wedding bands when they go on “business trips” but somehow end up at piss-and-fist parties in Palm Springs.

Seems they’re all full of shit!

According to a new study, to be published in the journal Psychological Science, these self-described “bisexuals” are just arm-wrestling with themselves when they try to believe they’re anything but true-blue gay. (See the illustration, above, by our favorite artist-couple Pierre & Gilles for what such an inner battle might look like.) (more…)

What’s wrong with this photo? Actually nothing. And that’s the problem.

Mariah Carey has just left a pricey LA bistro after a glitzy awards party when she spots a homeless man in a wheelchair. What a perfect photo-op, thinks the effervescent Mariah. With photographers nearby, she wants to promote her upcoming appearance at Live 8 — a concert designed to somehow solve all the poverty and hunger in Africa. A noble goal, reasons Mariah, and one she has already made a stab at — by going on a diet, perhaps imagining that less food for Mariah means more food for Nigeria. (more…)

Dead actresses — can we ever get enough of them? No, frankly, we can’t. (more…)