But officer, she looked like Cher!

The trannies of Bangkok have a new way of welcoming lonely tourists to Thailand. The Associate Press is reporting the arrest tonight of three she-males, members of a “transvestite gang” (we can only imagine!), who have confessed to concealing strong sedative pills under their tongues, then spitting them down the throats of their victims during “deep kissing.”

The tourist later wakes up in a muddle, Rolex gone, Cell gone, passport, Mastercard, wedding ring — gone!

But wiser. Wiser.

The Gang of Three, now in custody, have been described in all the reports as “attractive” or “very attractive” and we’re imagining these babes to be Suzie Wong versions of Cher, Madonna and, oh, Laura Bush, but with chipmunk cheeks and major boob-work — the kind with stand-up-and-salute nipples. No wonder the bi-guys pass out from dizziness!

The Scotsman fills us in on police Lieutenant Colonel Akachai’s report:

The transvestites approached their victim in a Bangkok nightclub … and he invited them all back to his apartment.

The victim told police that after they arrived there he kissed one of them, then felt dizzy and passed out, waking up 10 hours later to find that his cash, watch, mobile phone and notebook computer had disappeared…

As tourists have previously been drugged and robbed by friendly strangers, police have long warned visitors against accepting food or drink from people they do not know.

Several years ago members of another transvestite gang … admitted applying tranquillizers to their nipples in order to drug and then steal from unsuspecting men.” [Got that picture in your head, campers? Their nippies. Gay!]

“But now we are adding one more warning:

“Don’t rush to kiss a stranger on the mouth or you will end up in a deep sleep,” Lt Col Akachai cautioned.

Who was it who said “Experience is the worst teacher. First she gives the test, then she teaches the lesson?”