He didn’t mention gay marriage. But comedian Stephen Colbert confronted George W. Bush with nearly every twist of public lying, pious hypocrisy and war ineptitude in his calamitous presidency. Not all of it was funny, but all of it was true.
It happened over the weekend at the White House Correspondents Dinner, usually a genial event where the President pokes gentle fun at himself, and even gentler fun at the press, who sit in their tuxedos and gowns happily liquored up.
Comics are invited to take the President on from the podium — easy going punsters not known for social commentary, like Ray Romano or Drew Carey — and everyone leaves with the sense that the President is a swell guy, after all.
As an example of what usually passes for humor, last year Cedric the Entertainer — who? — was so lame he was overshadowed by the mock-critique First Lady Laura Bush gave her husband from the stage. Typical of the sugar-coated zingers deemed quotable the next day by a sobered press:
“George and I are complete opposites,” Laura said in her clear, accent-free school-teacher’s voice. “I’m quiet, he’s talkative; I’m introverted, he’s extroverted; I can pronounce nuclear …”
But that was then.
This is now: This year nothing has gone right for the President. All that was missing was a small dog to pull back the curtain and show the Great and Powerful Oz for what he is: an empty suit.
Meet Stephen Colbert. An alumnus of Jon Stewart’s Daily Show, Colbert hosts a nightly political satire show on Comedy Central where he plays a know-it-all pundit in the manner of Bill O’Riley — all bluster and rage and pompous self-importance. Someone made the mistake of inviting Colbert to close out the evening.
In a the span of 20 never-to-be forgotten minutes, the standup artist ripped the President a new one. And the beauty of it was that the monologue was worded as a “tribute,” for of course Colbert’s fictional pundit is a right-wing blowhard.
By the end of the routine, the President and First Lady sat on the dais with glacial smiles and tightened eyes. Some members of the administration had already left the hall after the first few minutes. The First Lady declined to shake Colbert’s hand as he passed, and the President, who rose and gave the comedian a stiff nod, was described by an aide familiar with Bush’s private moodiness as “looking like he was ready to blow.”
To say Colbert bombed with the crowd, which grew steadily silent as he soldiered on, lobbing one dynamite truth after another into the President’s lap, is an understatement. Colbert bombed big time. And they called the bombardment of Baghdad shock and awe! Everybody, from the President to his, until recently, subservient White House press corps, was left in blood and ruins.
(UPDATE: See Dan Froomkin’s column for a blow-by-blow of Bush’s reaction as the monologue went on, as well as the sour reaction of the media the next day.)
You can read the full transcript of Colbert’s monologue here or watch the video.
Some of Nightcharm’s favorite moments:
Wow. Wow, what an honor. The White House Correspondents’ Dinner. To actually sit here, at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush, to be this close to the man. I feel like I’m dreaming. Somebody pinch me. …
Now, I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don’t pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in “reality.” And reality has a well-known liberal bias. …
I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound — with the most powerfully staged photo-ops in the world. …
Look, by the way, I’ve got a theory about how to handle these retired generals causing all this trouble: don’t let them retire! Come on, we’ve got a stop-loss program; let’s use it on these guys. I’ve seen Zinni and that crowd on Wolf Blitzer. If you’re strong enough to go on one of those pundit shows, you can stand on a bank of computers and order men into battle. Come on. …
The greatest thing about this man is he’s steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday.
Colbert is cute and hot and the ballsiest man on the planet. I love him. Does he have a bodyguard?
Some serious balls!! Someone had to do it and I can’t think of anyone better. Go Stephen!
I watched all 3 parts and with every jab, I was stomping my feet and hooting and hollering! This was top-shelf satire and anyone who says differently must have been in the cross-hairs that night. The press wasn’t safe that night either. No wonder they “aren’t laughing.” What a bunch of crybabies! Maybe they should’ve been doing their jobs for the last 6 years, instead of licking Bush’s ring.
I am nervous just reading the blog entry about the speech in question! I doubt I’d survive through watching the actual thing. Tend to put myself into other people’s perspectives, and to imagine being him that night is high ranking on my scale of horror. I think it’s great what he did… I think.
Did I mention before? I keep mentioning I’m from the South. It always seems to relate. The way it relates to this is that in the South, we stab your back and not your face.
I think that’s why this is scary to me.
Stephen Colbert is brilliant!
Sure was time someone got GW Bush to his knees.
That monologue inspires awe — talk about courage!
Hi. I saw the video on another website and thought it was fuckin’ HI-larious! Anyway, I just wanted to second what Curtis said. I fantasize about being as ballsy as Colbert, but even in these imaginings I get a sickly feeling in my stomach putting myself out on the line like that. Stephen Colbert deserves all the accolades he can stand for this, ’cause it took some serious guts–and conviction–to stand there and keep going in the face of an increasingly stone-faced crowd. (And by the way, Curtis was dead-on when he said what he did about the South–most people really are like that here!)
I often fantasize about blowing Colbert.
I know Bush and his cronies can’t fathom things like irony, but you’d think they’d have figured out that Colbert just plays at being a lapdog. Idiots that they are, they let the wolf in through the front door. And got bit in the ass.
All hail Colbert.
I don’t have cable, I’m too busy making blogposts to actually have cable, but this guy is officially my newest idol.
You want an American Idol, look no further.
But if you want to kick it (Bush’s ass) old-school, watch Bill Moyers Journal on PBS. I just got through watching the episode on Impeachment. It was informative, and deserves to be seen by any and all Americans.
Please check it out. (link)
First Cheney, then Bush. Impeach to preserve the country.