We love a good public ass-reaming as much as the next guy! And has there ever been a bigger jackass than Bill Bennett, so-called “Morality Czar” and professional right-wing scold?

Possessed of a mellifluous baritone, the glum-faced Bennett affects a tragic gravitas as he pumps out the bullshit. Where is the outrage, he moans. The outrage he speaks of is not over the Haditha massacre, or unauthorized wiretapping, or Congress being bought and sold by corporate lobbyists. No, our boy Bill is worried about “the assault on marriage” coming from all those lesbian commandos in Massachusetts.

Hawking a new book with the triumphalist title America — The Last Best Hope (of civilization, we assume), he is making the rounds of the news shows, gassing about the issues du jour. Yet not one of his interrogators — not Tim Russert, or Chris Matthews or Jim Lehrer, all serious journalists who pride themselves on hard-hitting interviews — has called him on the stream of non sequiturs and inanities that make up his anti-gay-marriage shtick.

No one, that is, until Jon Stewart, host of the Daily Show on Comedy Central. (Why is a comedian on a fake-news show the only really vigorous interviewer in America today? That is a question the historians will need to answer, and trust us, they won’t be kind.) Sit back, kiddies, and enjoy the show (read the full article)

Joe is the first to admit he’s a dirty guy.

But that’s because he’s under cars most of the time getting grease spattered all over him. He runs a small auto-parts junkyard on a backroad in Idaho and he’ll be the first to tell you it gets real tired sometimes. Some days nobody shows up and he spends a lot of time on the internet hunting down pussy sites and monster truck rallies.

Every now and then he’ll slip off to the video store and get some relief on the fly. “I poke my pecker through a hole in the wall,” he says, “and somebody’s sure to give me a lob job.” (read the full article)

1. The “Marriage” Amendment is Not About Marriage

The so-called “Marriage Amendment is not about “marriage,” “the family,” or “children.” The Marriage Amendment is about you!

It makes no difference that you may have no intention to ever marry, adopt children, or make children.

It makes no difference that this is (for now) a largely symbolic gesture. Symbolic, not because it would have no effect on your life — it would, should you ever wish to be covered by your partner’s health benefits, or file a joint tax return, or have immediate-family status in a medical emergency: the amendment forbids not merely same-sex marriages but all “the legal incidents thereof,” like civil unions.

This is an empty, rhetorical gesture because the amendment has no hope of passing. Even if the House and Senate managed to get the necessary two-thirds majority, 38 states would still have to ratify the change.

2. The “Marriage” Amendment is About You!

What the Marriage Amendment is really about is bringing shame back into the public square — your shame. Its most hardcore supporters imagine they can slam the closet door shut again. To them homosexuality is not a naturally occurring state, but a contrived one — a choice, and a sinful one. (read the full article)

His name is Kelly, but everybody calls him Red.

Yup, he’s Scots-Irish right down to his pubes. And he’s happy to prove it — as you will see, after the jump. But whoa, we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

Right now he’s sitting before us in his Dockers, shooting the breeze in his soft, Allegheny drawl, as cocky as a rooster. Yes, ol’ Red may be on a chemistry scholarship at a certain Southern university, better know for its lacrosse players, but he was raised deep in the “hollers” of the Blue Ridge Mountains.

He’s kind of proud of that fact, and he shows us a lecture he downloaded, written by one of Nightcharm’s (and — go figure — the President’s!) favorite authors, Tom Wolfe.

“Man,” says Red, “this guy has my whole family pegged!” And he starts reading. His voice has a gentle lilt that makes everything he says kind of sweet:

“Good ol’ boys are rural Southerners and Midwesterners seldom educated beyond high school or community college, sometimes owners of small farms but more likely working for wages in factories, warehouses, and service companies. (read the full article)