Things To Do This Summer:

1. Do everyone who looks like a Glen Hanson illustration (right), and everybody who doesn’t. Get out there and spread the joy, boy!

2. Catch Project Runway from its first show, Wednesday, July 12, and never miss an episode. Can there ever be enough dizzy male designers breaking into showtunes as they cut along the bias and compete for the top spot? Exactly how obnoxious is the humorless Heidi Klum, the mistress of ceremonies whose pregnancy was forced on us last season in supposedly “edgy” maternity-wear? (No, gals, pregnant women are not all beautiful, no matter what you try to tell yourself.) And of course, Tim Gunn, who is always so earnest and prissy as he gives the budding designers his professional opinion before each competition. We love Tim. How could anyone not love him? How could anyone not want him as their personal ‘mo coach?

3. What would summer be without a good, ripping horror tale to read at the beach — except this one is non-fiction! We can’t wait to get out hands on Ron Suskind’s One Percent Doctrine, in which we learn that Dick Cheney is actually running the country (what else is new!), but also that the waging of war no longer requires evidence or facts. According to the policy put forth by Cheney: “If there was even a 1 percent chance of terrorists getting a weapon of mass destruction — and there has been a small probability of such an occurrence for some time — the United States must now act as if it were a certainty.”

Imagine the magnitude of that for a moment. That’s like moving to California because you have a one-percent chance of getting a job there, or going through with heart surgery because you have a one-percent chance of surviving. We will attack anyone anywhere on the mere shadow of a doubt and it makes no difference whether WMD or yellowcake uranium ever is found

This is why America now puts the rest of world’s hair on end. This is why the Bush administration is called a “faith-based” (as opposed to a reality-based) administration. In fact, one White House honcho boasted to Suskind right before the 2004 Presidential election that the administration paid no attention to the “reality-based community” — and neither did its loyal Republican base.

The Suskind book is loaded with gossipy, you-are-there anecdotes that plainly came from disgruntle CIA agents, some still on the payroll. According to the New York Times, Suskind “writes that Mr. Cheney’s nickname inside the C.I.A. was Edgar (as in Edgar Bergen), casting Mr. Bush in the puppet role of Charlie McCarthy, and cites one instance after another in which the president was not fully briefed (or had failed to read the basic paperwork) about a crucial situation. . . .

“Suggesting that Mr. Bush deliberately did not read the full National Intelligence Estimate on Iraq, which was delivered to the White House in the fall of 2002, Mr. Suskind writes: ‘Keeping certain knowledge from Bush — much of it shrouded, as well, by classification — meant that the president, whose each word circles the globe, could advance various strategies by saying whatever was needed. He could essentially be ‘deniable’ about his own statements.’ . .”

4. Re-see the Devil Wears Prada as many time as it takes to memorize Meryl Streep’s withering glances and weary line delivery. Witness again one of the most outlandish star entrances ever: It begins with a single Prada shoe emerging from a sports car and ends with a heartstopping shot, as elevator doors part, of the face, looking beyond bored, lips pursed, chin raised, in enormo dark glasses and albino-white boy bob. In the must-see gay movie of the summer, Meryl plays the most delightfully monstrous fashionista since Cruella De Vil.