themselves with their soap animals or some other harmless little trifle?”
— Barbara Pym, Jane and Prudence
Whenever I’m cruising the Internet, visiting the library, or talking to a friend or stranger, I always have a secret agenda. I’m on a quest for an elusive bit of information.
As I grew up, I was intrigued by the old saying, “Men only want one thing.” As a prepubescent kid, I vaguely suspected that the phrase was an allusion to sex. Today, however, I know that “sex” is a very broad concept, and that no two men necessarily get off on the same thing. (If you don’t know the sheer vastness of male sexual identity and expression, you haven’t spent enough time looking at porn on the Internet.) So I’m always digging around, reading between the lines for the one thing that all men really want. I think I finally figured it out.
As a bit of very brief background, my research into gay history introduced me to the Greek Isle of Lesbos, an historical island of mythical proportions, populated only by women. The inhabitants poetically defined the pure love that can exist woman-to-woman. This ancient society left a legacy of art, literature, and philosophy that has helped to define modern feminism and indeed has even given a name to lesbianism.
I naturally wondered if there was a masculine counterpart of the Isle of Lesbos. Perhaps all men have some sort of genetic memory of a land of brotherly love, shrouded in the mists of time. Perhaps an all-male society is what every man instinctively yearns for. So I got to work searching for historical evidence of such a place. Exclusively masculine communities have been commonplace throughout the ages, from pirate ships to military camps, but they were movable feasts. I have yet to zero in on the exact location of a masculine homeland, though medieval Florence, Italy may be a possibility (which I’ll discuss in a moment). Be that as it may, I have clearly documented the natural yearning for such a place. And I have found ways that men can begin to reconstruct such a place today, restoring a male culture for the future.
One of the best “masculinist” visionaries I have found is the British novelist D. H. Lawrence, whose work was banned in his time for being pornographic. Lawrence’s prime motivation was to define “what does a man want?” He attempted to answer that question in one short essay entitled Psychoanalysis and the Unconscious (1920), one long essay entitled Fantasia of the Unconscious (1922), and the novel Aaron’s Rod (1922). The short essay is mostly a quarrel with Freud’s idea that a sexual motive can be attributed to all human activity. In other words, Lawrence said sex is not the one thing men want. In the long essay, Lawrence called for men to look within their hearts to discover their deepest motivation in life:
“We’ve got to rip the old veil of a vision across, and find what the heart really believes in after all: and what the heart really wants, for the next future. And we’ve got to put it down in terms of belief and of knowledge. And then go forward again, to the fulfillment in life and art.”
I believe Lawrence wanted men to rediscover their masculine culture. In Fantasia, he envisioned a society in which men come together with other men to channel their masculine energies toward constructing a world of their own, finding love and brotherhood in the process. Lawrence believed that “It is the desire of the human male to build a world … to build up out of his own self and his own belief and his own effort something wonderful.”
Lawrence didn’t like to pigeonhole men with different labels about sexual orientation or levels of manliness. He preferred to call every male person simply a man. In Fantasia, he traced the birth of human consciousness all the way back to the first cell that divides in the womb, explaining that every child is born either male or female: “every single cell in every male child is male, and every cell in every female child is female.
The talk about a third sex, or about the indeterminate sex, is just to pervert the issue.” He admitted that the rudimentary formation of both sexes is found in every individual, but firmly believed that that doesn’t mean every person is a bit of both. At certain periods, he explained, men and women must play one another’s parts. The male must sometimes be sensitive and submissive, and the woman active and authoritative. Yet, “Man, in the midst of all his effeminacy, is still male and nothing but male. And woman, though she harangue in Parliament or patrol the streets with a helmet on her head, is still completely female.”
Lawrence saw the need for a greater distinction between the sexes in order to restore the natural balance. He believed that a man must be unencumbered by female influences if he is to follow the calling of his soul. As he put it:
“Man … must follow his own soul’s greatest impulse, and give himself to life-work and risk himself to death. It is not woman who claims the highest in man. It is a man’s own religious soul that drives him on beyond woman, to his supreme activity. For his highest, man is responsible to God alone. He may not pause to remember that he has a life to lose, or a wife and children to leave. He must carry forward the banner of life, though seven worlds perish, with all the wives and mothers and children in them. Hence Jesus, ‘Woman, what have I to do with thee?’ Every man that lives has to say it again to his wife or mother, once he has any work or mission in hand, that comes from his soul.”
Lawrence’s novel Aaron’s Rod is first and foremost about the rediscovery of a male culture. The main character, Aaron, is a hearty, indomitable man, endowed with physical strength as well as a spiritual sensibility. Describing the medieval town of Florence, Lawrence wrote,
“Aaron felt a new self, a new life-surge rising inside himself. Florence seemed to start a new man in him. It was a town of men….He found the Piazza della Signoria packed with men: but all, all men. And all farmers, landowners and land-workers…And above all, this sharp, almost acrid, mocking expression, the silent curl of the nose, the eternal challenge, the rock-bottom unbelief, and the subtle fearlessness…But men, Men! A town of men, in spite of everything. The one manly quality, undying, acrid fearlessness. The eternal challenge of the unquenched human soul…. But men-who existed without apology and without justification … Just men.”
I interpret Lawrence’s descriptions of Florence as a male counterpart to the Isle of Lesbos. The men there live in a society which is not ruled by the other sex and its values. They are not estranged from their fellow men. The character Aaron sets out to develop his own sense of identity, to search his soul for the hero within. After leaving his wife and family, he wanders through life until he meets another man whom he considers a mentor, then tries to discover what his own true feelings are.
Lawrence’s frank discussions about men’s relationships to each other present the question of whether he was homosexual or merely misogynistic. But the value he places on man-to-man friendship is simply parallel to modern feminist writings. For Lawrence, the love between man and woman is not enough for the individual soul. A man’s soul needs someone who can fully resonate with it, and such resonance can only come from another man. In his collected letters, Lawrence said that one measures a friend by the breadth of his understanding. By “understanding” he meant “that delicate response from the chords of feeling which is involuntary.” If a man is one’s friend, he will respond “to the very chord you strike, with clear and satisfying timbre, responding with a part, not the whole, of his soul. It makes a man much more satisfactory.”
Neither the Isle of Lesbos nor ancient Florence remain same-sex havens. However, that doesn’t mean that men can’t recapture the freedom that is their birthright — to be left to themselves, with their tiny soap animals or whatnot. In his various writings, Lawrence seemed to be suggesting a formula for men to rediscover and recreate their masculine culture. His main points seem include the following:
• Be yourself. As Lawrence says in Aaron’s Rod, “You are yourself and so be yourself. Stick to it and abide in it. Passion or no passion, ecstasy or no ecstasy, urge or no urge, there’s no goal outside you, where you can consummate like an eagle flying into the sun, or a moth into a candle. there’s no goal outside you — and there’s no God outside you….You’ve got an innermost, integral, unique self, and since it’s the only thing you have got or ever will have, don’t go trying to lose it….Your own single oneness is your destiny. Your destiny comes from within, from your own self-form.”
• Look within your heart to discover your deepest motivation. Silent contemplation or meditation are appropriate ways to accomplish this.
• Put your deepest motivation into writing and then act upon your masculine agenda. Become an architect of the future you envision.
• Give yourself over to this purpose, no matter what the cost. To compromise one’s own destiny is a price no man can afford.
• Cultivate fearlessness. To paraphrase the novel Dune, fear is the mind-killer. Face your fears, allow them to pass over you, and when the fear is gone only you will remain.
• Stop labeling yourself. Diversity is wonderful, and labels are useful to contrast different groups, but we don’t need to pigeonhole ourselves. A man is a man, and no other distinctions matter within the brotherhood of men.
• Cultivate masculine friendships. Only your fellow men can truly resonate with your soul.
• Don’t be dominated by female influences, yet promote feminism. The feminine tendencies toward domestication/burrowing, passivity, and mediation/compromise are invaluable, but such tendencies should never hinder your masculine destiny. With patience and peacefulness, we can respect feminine influences without being stunted by them. The key is to stay true to ourselves and find perfect singleness within. Feminism promotes women to fulfill their own destinies, and masculinism must do the same for men.• Lead other men by your example.
All photos by The Ritter Brothers from 1932-1935. From the book The Male Nude by David Leddick and published by Taschen.
Fred and William Ritter were fitness buffs who worked out regularly at the New York YMCA and later developed a business taking pictures of themselves which they printed in their own dark-room and sold by mail order. Prints in an 8×10 format sold for one dollar. This, in addition to their modeling work must have provided the brothers an excellent source of income during the tough times of the Depression. Their work at the time was highly creative and experimental. Instead of the usual shot of a model in the studio with a solid or cloth backdrop, the Ritter’s went on location indoors and out to shoot their famous collection of works. George Platt Lynes used the Ritter Brothers in the 1930’s for his early photographic work.
Hmmm. I’m tempted to say that Lawrence’s obsession with masculinity is suspect, and at the very least I find it rubbish. To define oneself first and foremost by the standard of a biological dice-roll is absurd. “Labels are useful to contrast different groups, but we don’t need to pigeon-hole ourselves. A man is a man.” Yes, but why should the distinction of that label be the end? The fact of sex is not my defining characteristic. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a man, and I am happy and fulfilled as one. But in the end it is only anatomy. A more evolved being cultivates ALL that is worthy in their own heart, mind, and soul, I think. To aim for perfection within only one half of an imagined polarity is not my goal.
I also find his emphasis on individuality and one’s own “destiny” way too self-absorbed for my taste. As Americans it’s easy for us to say “yeah, that’s the way it should be.” But isn’t that why we’re in such trouble as a culture in the first place? Integration with our fellows on this Earth is the next step, even if it means placing the needs of others before your own. But we are too self-indulgent to consider this. What I am and want and need matters more than what YOU or THEY do. Isn’t that the result of DHL’s line? I have no problem serving my family, my loved ones, and my community, even if it means giving up a part of my own desires. It is for the good of us all. But maybe that’s just my destiny.
But back to gender. That whole argument that gender saturates every fiber of one’s being is just plain stupid. We know that we all start out as females, and it is only a few key genes on the Y chromosome that tell the ovaries to form testes instead. And yes, the presence of sex hormones does soak into a great many areas of our lives and personalities. But I refuse to believe the whole of my being is defined by such small and relatively insignificant organs. Our brains are far more impressive, not to mention opposable thumbs. Language, writing, music, art, planning, organisation, social structure, reason, self-awareness, truth. These are far more defining than my ability to get a hard-on or fertilise eggs (as if!). Any mindless invertebrate can do that. And the qualities supposedly associated with “masculinity” are potentially good no matter who they belong to, as are compassion, loving, submission, compromise, and all the other supposed “feminine” traits. We are all human, struggling for and against each other, and this illusion of gender is a relic that will leave us if we survive long enough.
“We know that we all start out as females, and it is only a few key genes on the Y chromosome that tell the ovaries to form testes instead.”
That’s not necessarily true. While the fetus may appear female, it in fact, contains a bi-potential - the ability to become either sex because it posses both the Müllerian ducts and the Wolffian duct. Think of it not as a blank slate, but as of a glass half-empty and half-full.
If the fetus is male, its testes will develop, as will the Wolffian duct, and the Müllerian ducts will wither and disappear. However, if the fetus is female, the ovaries and the Müllerian ducts continue to blossom into the female reproductive system, while the Wolffian duct will eventually be absorbed back into the body.
I believe many of the qualities and the points you end your discusion with, along with the type world that men could build for themselves, could be found in the inclaves and camps that The Sacred Band of Thebes created for themselves. Social history is pretty skecthy but they were loved and celebrated by the heterosexual world around them along with the image that all straight soldiers desired to copy.
As found in Wiki
“The Sacred Band of Thebes (ancient Greek: ἱερὸς λόχος hieròs lókhos) was an elite Greek troop of 150 pairs of homosexual lovers, according to Plutarch (in the Life of Pelopidas) formed by the Theban commander Gorgidas. The idea was that every man would be motivated to fight to his maximum ability both to protect his lover and to avoid shaming himself in front of his lover.
The motivation for the use of such an “Army of Lovers” in battle is also stated by Plutarch:
“For men of the same tribe or family little value one another when dangers press; but a band cemented by friendship grounded upon love is never to be broken, and invincible; since the lovers, ashamed to be base in sight of their beloved, and the beloved before their lovers, willingly rush into danger for the relief of one another.”[1]
According to Plutarch, Gorgidas initially distributed the Sacred Band of Thebes throughout his battle lines as an elite to strengthen the others’ resolve, but later Pelopidas, after the Band had fought successfully at Tegyra, used it as a sort of personal guard. For about 33 years, the Sacred Band of Thebes stood undefeated and remained an important part of the Greek infantry.
Its defeat came at the Battle of Chaeronea, the decisive battle in which Philip II of Macedon and his son Alexander the Great ended the hegemony of the city-states. Philip had been held as a hostage in Thebes, and had learned his military tactics there. The remainder of the Theban army fled when faced with the overwhelming forces of Philip and Alexander, but the Sacred Band, surrounded and refusing to surrender, held their ground and fell where they stood. Plutarch recounts that upon encountering their corpses heaped together and understanding who they were Philip exclaimed:
“Perish any man who suspects that these men either did or suffered anything unseemly.”[2]
Though Plutarch claims that all three hundred died that day, other writers claim that two hundred and fifty four died and all the rest were wounded. That claim was substantiated upon the excavation of their communal grave at Chaeronea, in which two hundred and fifty four skeletons were found, arranged in seven rows.
When the topic of homosexuality in the militaries of Ancient Greece is discussed, the Sacred Band of Thebes is usually considered as the prime example of how the Ancient Greeks used homoerotic or homosexual relationships between soldiers in a troop to boost the fighting spirit of their militaries. These bonds, perhaps somewhat inspired by episodes from Greek mythology, such as the heroic relationship between Achilles and Patroclus in the Iliad by Homer, were thought to boost morale as well as bravery.”
I am sure there are many novels and a few porn stories that could be written about 300 soldiers, living together in their own separate camp, carving their own society and lives along with being the ultimate symbol of their country and army.
what about the novel : Papillon ?? (not the film with Dustin Hoffman)
Amazing post, very interesting. I really think it would be great to have a solely masculine society, but that would cause problems, especially the birth problem. A most conservative society would be possible, with the women at home and the men in the field. I’d like that, it’s part of my conservative self, but I think that’d be pretty hard to accomplish these days. Women have gone loose on us, they have thrown all ethics aside and built up their own world. Don’t you hate women in a higher position than yourself? It’s just not right. The Bible even speaks of this, though I won’t go into such details.
Thanks for giving me something to dream about.
A monastery would be a good example of a masculine society, with brothers and love, but sex not so much. Besides all (for as far as I know) monastery’s are catholic, which won’t work for me. So I guess I’ll have to wait until someone buys a small state and kicks out all women. I bet men will keep coming there to get rid of the feminising world. What a paradise it would be; beer, sigars, sex, and working from 9 to 5; driving big cars, diesel engines of course, windows open, music on loud… sigh
I’m going to sleep well tonight
VERY interesting indeed. I do agree with Lawrence that men do need relationships with other men (and not necessarily sexual) to cultivate their souls; much like we women do. I also believe that his main points are true no matter whether you are male or female. You are who you are and you should take pride in that.
However, and maybe this is the woman in me talking, but I do not find it at all necessary for a man to put aside all things for a mission or destiny. And for the sake of fairness, I do not find it necessary for a woman to do so either.
I think what we all crave is understanding and the ability to express ourselves as we see fit…or in some instances, just to be left alone for a little bit - an hour, a day, a week - to clarify those thoughts we long to express; or repress as the case may call for.
Culturally, men are not going to meet Lawrence’s ideal because they have not and will not heed his call below. Feminism is dominant, and I doubt there will be a rebellion in the male culture toward it anytime soon. The feminist struggle must be complete before males will rebel:
• Don’t be dominated by female influences, yet promote feminism. The feminine tendencies toward domestication/burrowing, passivity, and mediation/compromise are invaluable, but such tendencies should never hinder your masculine destiny. With patience and peacefulness, we can respect feminine influences without being stunted by them. The key is to stay true to ourselves and find perfect singleness within. Feminism promotes women to fulfill their own destinies, and masculinism must do the same for men.
Although I haven’t digested your essay in full, I do believe you touch upon a highly relevant and intriguing aspect of masculinity or maleness and male bonding through the ages. I have always held the conviction (or perhaps I should say: suspicion) that in pre-historic times, male bondage was rich and uncomplicated and that it must have been a highly natural aspect of boyhood and adolescence, transcending into an equally natural, mature interaction between adult males and women.
I equally reject any kind of labeling beyond the obvious distinction between men and women, and I accept that boys/men can highly vary in their expression of self vis-a-vis one another, as much as they can do this vis-a-vis women.
I find much of a confirmation in your exploration of earlier attempts at tackling this subject, e.g. by Lawrence.
Well done!
At a time when my age is surpassed a useful life expectancy by the measurement of youth, 44 years old one week from today, a concrete Leo in every aspect of my persona, I pose the question to myself, “What is it that I want?”
Exiting the womb into the world of D. H. L.’s description and passion, searching for the heart of my soul, the drive of breath which motivates the heart beat of life itself, I am equivocally the son of Mr. Lawrence, embraced in his fantasies. While the “It” is forever unlabelled, unknown and continually alludes me, the passion of the hunt, cumbersome at times, pumps oxygen expanding my lungs to breathe in life itself, exhaling the desires of others, strengthening the heart of my being, my passion rooted soul.
Alas, it is that moment at which the physiological planets of my human anatomy align, generated by the forces of my passionate soul, that my reason for being is expressed, expelled in orgasmic delightful pleasure. It is my sexual being driving the force of my life, with every action budding to become orgasmic heaven scented blossoms.
Men enter, dwell, and exit life satisfying their planetary human mission with the passion of their self expressive conglomerate orgasmic ways and means. Indeed friend or foe, this is what keeps us here, keeps us in fear, making us men. It is only the end to the orgasm, as we exit our human vehicle from this world into the next, which escorts our fight for life, cementing our reason for being, in this thing called life.
What do men want….right now it seems very little. The society is destroying men’s ideas and values and replacing them with the ideals of women. It is a change, dominance in the area of ideas, is losing its thrust, and is being replaced by ideas of culture and passiveness. As a teacher I am sad …. extensions to current ideas are being replaced by questions as to why the ideas of history are important. Femininity is powerful and until it is balanced by a vibrant masculinity we are cruising to boredome and a maintenance world crumbling because of loss of the energy of new ideas and progress. Perhaps the ‘dark ages’ were not so bad?
Wow guess it is easier to blame a feminising world then to truly look in your own soul and discover what is missing in most men today. the Bible speaks of a man providing for his family in all ways, the women to stay home behind her “man” and support his decisions but the bible does not say what she is to do if he,lets say starts cheating ,deliving into drugs and fails to support the family he has helped bring into this world so until men begin to regain there “family ” values a women MUST fend for herself and children in a way that is of moral in character and if that means to find a high paying job and take a no prisoner stance then so be it. This is still a mans world and as a women I know this first hand.Women have not gone loose on you men, except the kind you find at a bar, but have learned over time men can not be counted on to provide fully to run the long haul in a relationship this is no longer the Ward and June Cleaver generation. ethics? everyone compromise there’s from time to time but statistically failed marriages fail because of men and there “Loose” values to the institution of marriage.
thank you boys.
Actually there is a place that exists that is all male and it has been so for over a thousand years. Mount Athos, located in Greece, is its own little state where only men are allowed to live, and no women can visit the place, nor are any female animals allowed! Check it out, it’s interesting.
I find Ursula’s comments interesting, as they bring up something else I failed to mention in my first post. Now I don’t believe the failure of modern marriage can be placed in the laps of men in general. It has more to do with this juvenille concept of marrying for LOVE, the most notoriously unstable and fickle emotion we have. A fairly new thing invented by the Romanticists of the 19th century, blah blah blah.
BUT she has a point in that WE”VE BEEN IN CHARGE for the last 10,000 odd years, at LEAST, and we still are, in spite of all this moaning about the “feminising” of society. And guess what? WE FUCKED IT UP with our wars and our dominating ways and our “mine is bigger than yours” bullshit and our greed and false sense of ownership/entitlement. Yeah men are great, people. They’re the same ones who shoved us in our closets and drop bombs on those we fear. Women are finally moving up alongside us, not above us, and it can only be a welcome change from this caveman shit. Now get over it.
And a PS to Jonny–I stand corrected on the biology. Thanks for the lesson. Says more about gender NOT being so intrinsic, doesn’t it?
Sounds like an ideal place to me! Men everywhere! Yet, as a gay male I could’nt imagine a place without women. I am who I am today because of the roles of men AND women in my life. Most of my closest friends are female. I think we all have fantasies about things that could’nt ever be for escape from our everyday lives. Keep dreaming!!
Jeezh guys never heard Love? love is whne your CUMMING