Serene and telepathic, the fair lady of the wood, the Elf Queen who keeps her innermost thoughts hidden, Galadriel stares at the ring of ultimate power that Frodo offers her.

She has long wanted it, and now here it is, being offered freely by a guileless hobbit, an accidental ringbearer, who wearies of its weight, fears its pull.

In an instant Galadriel sees how the ring would overpower her — even her, with all her forest sorceries. The grove where she is standing takes on an eerie green glow, positive and negative light switch. “In place of a Dark Lord,” she warns the hobbit, “you will have a Queen! Not dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Dawn. Treacherous as the Sea.” She grows immense before his eyes. “Stronger than the foundations of the earth.” Her voice thunders with a multitude of shrill over-voices:

“All shall love me and despair!”

And then, in one of the most fateful turns in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, she rejects the offer, as she is destined to. “I pass the test,” she gasps in relief. “I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel.” (more…)

Rich or poor. Gay or straight. It’s an old saying of the Dali Lama but still true today: Everybody looks the same with their legs in the air.

Even when the bottom is a great porn star like Bo Knight (above). But today’s reading will not concern the bottom. We shall be meditating on the top.

Can we speak frankly? What is it about ugly guys? Why are they so — despite everything else — hot? (more…)

“Whenever I see twins,” Marcel Proust wrote, ” I feel thrown off balance, like nature is trying to sell me a pattern.”

Which may be why Jacob — or is it Joshua? — at left, decided to dye his hair.

The Miller boys are the gay twins that comprise the bubblegum duo Nemesis – openly gay, which, considering the teenybopper demo they’re aiming at, is pretty extraordinary.

For that reason, and also the fact that they’re out Jehovah Witnesses — a faith that severely shuns its gay members — they are currently the subject of a reality show on the gay-themed Logo channel.

All of which is trilling beyond belief, of course, but let’s get back to our burning question:

Which twin has the Toni? Which twin is rocking the outrageous dye job? That was what Radar online wanted to know in a recent interview.

“That would be Jacob,” said the one with the raven black hair. “Naturally, it’s Josh,” insisted the artfully streaked blond. This was the sort of con job the twins had pulled on outsiders since they were teens, making you guess, for instance , if you were really dating the one you thought you were.

As it turned out, the blond one, Jacob, is the faker. “We were 16 years old in Montana,” confessed Jacob. “We did a hair show, and the salon colored my hair blond.”

Currently the darlings of the gay press, the Miller boys discussed how they came out to each other in an extensive Radar interview, part of which we excerpt below: (more…)

No, we didn’t use Photoshop on this picture.

That really is John Wayne — in hot pants.

John Wayne, who was for generations the archetype of rugged cowboy manhood. Broad shouldered. Self-contained. All pensive, wounded looks and a slow-to-anger, two-fisted approach to solving problems.

During the late days of the American Empire, he was “the ugly American” as photogenic movie star, a world conqueror with shameful face, at home as much on the Sagebush Trail as on the Sands of Iwo Jima — two typically iconic titles of his America-Myth building movies.

And yet, there he is, at right, in a not-ready-for-icon-worship private moment.

Exactly how many things are blowing our mind about this photo? Let us count the ways. Not merely the super-tight hot pants, but the super-tight hot pants with the cowboy hat.

Then there’s the little issue about the man-bag — man-bag! — oxygen, please. This is 1952! That’s when the photo was taken, in Acapulco. Not even the dizziest bottle-blonde chorusboy, staggering about drunkenly on a gay holiday in Capri, French poodle in beach bag, would be this gay or this proud. (more…)

But enough about you…let’s talk about us.

It’s official! Nightcharm is a cultural phenomenon. How do we know? Well, we’ve just been on Oprah.

I was munching a burrito and channel surfing when the face of a tear-streaked blonde brought me to a complete standstill. The woman was talking about the shock — the disorienting shock — of finding out that her marriage had been a sham.

A wail went up from the audience. The camera dove into the crowd and settled on an gaggle of housewives, all misting up and getting ready to blow.

I settled back into the couch with delight! Yep, I had stepped into the middle of a big ole Oprah Cry Fest.

The remote dropped from my hand and I hunkered deep into the couch, as rapt as a cat.

Just then the show broke for a commercial and the title of the episode came up — It was then that I knew I would be there for the entire fucking hour:

My Husband Is Gay!

I counted the minutes as the feminine hygiene commercial ran its course in a burst of animated daisies and butterflies. Then the episode resumed. The gay husband was speaking. No more than four words were out of his mouth when his image faded into one of those famous Oprah reenactment montages. There he was, banging away at a computer keyboard, hungrily searching the monitor for — something. (more…)

Girl, it’s raining MEN!

Not just men: Gay men! Sodomites! Flippin’ Freakin’ Q*U*E*E*R*S!

And the women of Golconda — that town in Magritte’s painting where it’s always raining what look like stockbrokers — the women are totally losing it. They are going around that final bend. They are — in a word — concerned.

Sisters in alarm with our very own Betty Crocker division of professional homophobes, the Concerned Women of America. (more…)

In this corner, representing the United States, fresh from his nightjob at Starbucks, is Chuckie.

A seeker of truth. a student of event planning, a sophomore at one of Arizona’s most party-hearty universities, Chuck is 175 pounds of sheer can-do salesmanship.

A former cheerleader, Chuck even holds down a second job. You’ll find him on odd-numbered weekends behind the counter of an Abercrombie & Fitch in an upscale Phoenix mall, where he’ll wait on you with great team spirit and wafting clouds of soapy young-male musk mixed with Hugo Boss cologne.

Keep your eye on Chuckie.

Chuck will be representing the USA against the Argentine challenger in the Battle of the Americas, currently taking place in our members-only area, the Inner Circle. (more…)

Newsflash to Focus on the Family: Homosexuality is widespread throughout the animal kingdom.

This should be old news to everyone else, and would only have been a flash circa 1973, but it’s causing havoc with the Left Behind crowd.

The Christian fundies, that is, their Norwegian counterparts, are raising a fuss in Oslo where a Natural History museum has opened an exhibit to illustrate the universality of animal homosexuality with dioramas and a wealth of photos.

“Homosexuality has been observed for more than 1,500 animal species,” says the exhibition’s project leader Geir Soeli, “and is well documented for 500 of them.” (more…)