"Whenever I see twins," Marcel Proust wrote, " I feel thrown off balance, like nature is trying to sell me a pattern."
Which may be why Jacob -- or is it Joshua? -- at left, decided to dye his hair.
The Miller boys are the gay twins that comprise the bubblegum duo Nemesis -- openly gay, which, considering the teenybopper demo they're aiming at, is pretty extraordinary.
For that reason, and also the fact that they're out Jehovah Witnesses -- a faith that severely shuns its gay members -- they are currently the subject of a reality show on the gay-themed Logo channel.
All of which is trilling beyond belief, of course, but let's get back to our burning question:
Which twin has the Toni? Which twin is rocking the outrageous dye job? That was what Radar online wanted to know in a recent interview.
"That would be Jacob," said the one with the raven black hair. "Naturally, it's Josh," insisted the artfully streaked blond. This was the sort of con job the twins had pulled on outsiders since they were teens, making you guess, for instance , if you were really dating the one you thought you were.
As it turned out, the blond one, Jacob, is the faker. "We were 16 years old in Montana," confessed Jacob. "We did a hair show, and the salon colored my hair blond."
Currently the darlings of the gay press, the Miller boys discussed how they came out to each other in an extensive Radar interview, part of which we excerpt below:
JACOB [the blond]: I started working at the airport in Nashville, and this boy who worked there was my first gay friend, and he had a crush on me.
JACOB: And I ended up falling in love with him. He kissed me one day at his house and I totally freaked out and was like, 'Why did you do that?' But I couldn't stop thinking about it. So we started dating. Joshua could tell that something was going on because I was not coming home at night. He flipped out about it, so we sat down and I told him I was seeing a man.
JOSH: At that time, I was still praying to God to forgive me for masturbating. When I found out Jacob was doing all these sinful things, I freaked out, I cried, I told him I was going to take him to the elders and have him disfellowshipped.
RADAR: Disfellowshipped? That sounds scary.
JOSH: It is scary. No one from the Jehovah's Witness faith can speak to you anymore.
RADAR: Did you know that you were also gay at the time, Josh?
JACOB: Well, I know that he found himself pretty quick, because it was about three months later that I caught him in bed with one of my best friends!
JOSH: It was longer than three months.
JACOB: Not much longer.
RADAR: And that's the first time you knew about each other? What about gaydar?
JOSH: Well, being a Jehovah's Witness you don't think in those terms. And growing up in Montana is a huge part of it. I went into a video store when I was 16 and rented the few gay videos they had. I mean, I found gay porn sexy and fascinating, but I didn't know anything else about it.
RADAR: That was your introduction to sin?
JOSH: Oh yes. And it's just gotten worse and worse.
We wish the Miller twins the best. And boys, if things don't work out with the teenyboppers, Nightcharm would love to --
But we'll leave it to our readers to offer their own Plan B career suggestions.