Why is this man smiling so damn hard? Hanging on to that shiny happy glow like his life depended on it?
In many way, it does:
Pastor Ted, head of a megachurch in Colorado that has become the most politically connected church in the country, a man who has the President’s ear in weekly telephone chats, an organizer and instigator of anti-gay legislation across the country — and not just anti-gay marriage, that’s too easy, anti-gay civil unions, anti-gay benefit coverage for domestic partners, anti-gay rights to parent your own child if you are the gay spouse in a divorce — Pastor Ted Haggard had to resign as president of the National Association of Evangelicals last night after a male escort claimed he had been having a 3-year sex-for pay relationship with the minister.
Haggard denies the accusation but took an immediate leave of absence from his church while a panel of church elders investigates the matter. The escort, who said he was prompted by Haggard recent anti-gay activity, has released tapes of phone messages (you can hear them here) that a voice expert has certified as scientifically matching up with Haggard’s vocal signature.
After which, the acting senior pastor from Haggard’ New Life Church in Colorado Springs stepped froward and made the following statement to a local TV Station: “I just know that there has been some admission of indiscretion — not admission to all of the material that has been discussed — but there is an admission of some guilt.”
Some guilt? Some indiscretion? Can you be a little bit pregnant? Can you be a little bit gay?
At this writing, everyone is holding their breath, as interested parties — in both the evangelical and gay camps — wait for the next shoe to drop. (UPDATE: And minutes after posting, we learn that Haggard has now admitted to having a “massage” from a “gay prostitute.” We guess in Colorado they don’t have real masseuses with professional licenses. What’s an evangelical to do when he has that ache way, way in the back that needs some poking and prodding?)
In his column for the Seattle-based Stranger, noted gay critic Dan Savage repeated Salon’s amusing one-liner about Haggard — “not just the most important evangelical you’ve never heard of, but the most important evangelical, period.” He then ran an instant reaction from Noel Black a gay activist from Haggard’s Colorado Springs who has often sparred with the pastor.
Aside from Ted Haggard’s obvious case of gay face (stiff upper lip!), there’s always been something creepy and evasive about his and New Life Church’s stance on homosexuality.
Late last year, Haggard publicly snubbed James Dobson’s and Focus on the Family’s attempts to put an anti-gay marriage amendment on this year’s ballot. Instead, he insisted, he’d only get behind a “positive” initiative to define marriage as being between one man and one woman. That’s how Amendment 43 was born. It’s on the ballot in next week’s election and it defines marriage as between one man and one woman blah blah blah.This has been New Life’s homophobia-lite for as long as I’ve had personal dealings with them. I had many debates with Ted’s right-hand man, Rob Brendle, about the issue in which he insisted that gay marriage was an issue best left to the voters — a classic propagandish evasion of an issue they knew already enjoyed popular support. That said, Ted’s been rallying hard for 43 and against Referendum I, a measure on the ballot next week that would give same sex couples the same legal rights as married couples. If these allegations turn out to be true, it’ll make him the worst kind of self-hating homophobes…
Maybe that stiff upper lip will turn out to be cocksucker’s cramp after all!
Radar Online had a body-language expert decode a now over-televised interview (caution: long load time) with a bizarrely peppy Haggard outside of his home when the news first broke:
Haggard’s whole shtick smells rotten to Kevin Hogan, an internationally renowned expert on lying who has written a dozen books on body language, influence, and persuasion and worked with Boeing, Microsoft, Starbucks, CNN, the New York Times, and the BBC, among others. Radar pointed him toward a video of Haggard denying his affair with the hooker to get an expert’s take on his tale.
“It’s odd that he has so few signs of nonverbal anxiety,” he says. “His eyes show no rapid movement. There’s no anger, no nothing except a dissociation from the issue on a contextual level. If he didn’t have this affair, he should have some emotion, and there is none,” Hogan says.
“He keeps saying, ‘There is an independent blah-blah that will investigate and if they find me needing reprimand they will do so.’ Most innocent people won’t say something like that. From a contextual point of view, I would say with a high probability of certainty that he did have a relationship.”
Short of, “Yes, I nailed the guy!” is there anything Haggard could say to make himself sound credible?“It’s simple,” Hogan says. “I’m a Christian. I’m a pastor. Gay behavior is outlawed by the Bible, and I have no idea who this person is but he will be exposed as lying when it’s over.”
But what about manwhore Mike Jones [the escort]?
“He looks totally congruent in his communication in the interview,” Hogan says. “He’s a little nervous. TV does that to you, but I believe him to be telling the truth.”
Nightcharm will be covering this story as it develops.
And by the way, if you’re an American and you’re gay and you can’t be bothered to vote this Tuesday, then you have no right to complain. It’s put-up or shut-up time. The evangelicals know it — and so should we.
“Gotcha!”
My, my, how the mighty have fallen! It only proves the truism that those who protest too much, particularly with respect to sex, have issues in a closet somewhere…
I first witnessed this story on CNN Thursday evening - Wolf Blitzer was all excited - and my first reaction was a gale of laughter. Yikes, what a perfect storm against the evangelical hypocrits - couldn’t have written a better script myself!
So inquiring minds want to know: is Haggard (who will soon look like his family name) a top or a bottom? And, did Ted and Mike play safe? I want all the dirt - in pictures!
LOL
Why should be so surprisd that a man that has lived with his homosexuality so long should deny his very sexual identity. Simple: it’s easy and profitable in Mr Haggards shoes. Money talks and prejudice makes a lot of bucks, especially when you are paying for the sex that Mr Haggard so obviously craves.
As liberated as we think our society is,the almighty dollar and the prejudice it engenders encouarages the likes of this fool to thrive and leach upon our very existence. We should have no sympathy and certainly no compassion for this pathetic shadow of a man: He understood evey nuance of our very existence and refused to engage in the battles we had to and still have to fight, instead investing in a dentist bill and facile prejudice.
He most certainly will rot in the hell he fervently advised we sholud avoid. He is the worst kind of homophobe: The pathetic homosexual no mark with no dignity or courage.
THE ONLY GOOD CHRISTIAN IS A DEAD CHRISTIAN. Should of given him a few more years of hookers and meth to nail the coffin shut.
Something about this guy just screams “closet case”. Of course, now that he’s admitted to minor wrongdoings (buying meth and getting a “massage”, though note he doesn’t specify what part of the body got massaged) the church will hush it up and the evangelical parade will go marching on. For these people it’s OK to have an occasional lapse as long as you go along with the antigay rhetoric, live a superficially heterosexual life, and tearfully repent your “mistakes”. Gotta go find a barf bag now.
BRAVO to Mike Jones for coming foreward and exposing Haggard! He’s done a great service to our own. I’m sorry to hear he isn’t eating or sleeping, and it must be really hard to know that millions of anti-gay individuals are hating him right now.
I’m really uncomfortable with the idea that Mike Jones agreed to take a lie-detector test. That test is not reliable, and it isn’t even legal to administer in Canada. The test measures factors that might not point directly to lying. I also think any individual testing him might have a vested interest in seeing deception if they also believe in the anti-gay movement. Unfortunately now that he’s taken it once, he can’t refuse to take it the second time without drawing suspicion. I hope he learns to calm down for the second one so that he isn’t falsly accused of lying.
This doesn’t surprise me at all…. I know of at least 3 cases in my former church where someone of high power was a closet gay, and were protected… such hyprocracy not only in religion, but government too….
“Gay face” has instantly become a new part of my personal lexicon.
YAHOO! Gotcha! He does sound like Paul Linde, doesn’t he?! We are everywhere! Unfortunately, the we in this case was a pathetic example of gay man = HYPOCRITE. I was there as a believer and I can testify Jesus does not heal homosexuality. So offensive. The damage done by the anti-gay christian message is profound, despite some good christian teachings and good works. Sure, don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater. But when power is used to oppress others…whoa! Watch out.Tha’s both evil and hypocritical.
He deserves the fall from “glory”.All this christian show business is repulsive in God’s sight. Remember the verse where Jesus said,”On that final day, many will say “lord, didn’t we do good things in your name? etc.etc. And Jesus will say,” Away from me, I never knew you!”
Bottom line, I don’t think homosexuality is sin. It depends on what you do with your sexuality. I feel men need to be affectionate with each other throughout life and that is a good thing from God, even when the need is sexual. It seems both divine and from Nature.
Believe in Jesus, do good to others, be of good character.Enjoy your sexuality responsively. The rest is all noise.
I do admit to conflicted feelings/beliefs on both sides of world views, that is, the christian/non-christian view, pro-gay/anti-gay and many other issues, so I try to be careful in my beliefs/practices and not be too quick to judge…cause I’m not sure.
Don’t be so hard on him. He is in a difficult situation, and he lied about not having the affair on the news. Put yourself in his shoes for a second, (meaning blank your slate and pretend you are him). He is a Christian, has been since age 16, and got into pastoring and founded a church. All of that would be enough to drown out most of his homosexual thoughts. When things became calmer/quieter he started thinking of guys again and went to a masseuse (who was obviously gay). Eventually he ended up paying for sex with the guy (Haggard brought it up, not Jones), and drugs on one occasion (on other occasions he bought the drugs himself through some other person that Jones had referred him to).
Now because Jones outed him to the press, his entire reputation is at stake, so he lies to the media in panic (yes calm and collected, but none the less, panic). Later he honorably steps down and admits to some of the accusations. (in a non-specific way but it was at least an admission) Now he is trying to get his life back, he can’t go back into preaching for the near future, because what he has done is shaming to him and his family. (In his point of view)
Basically he just has a case of confused sexual orientation. He could be bisexual, but is most likely gay. If he has 5 children, most likely he will never admit this to keep his family together.
A lot of things go on in a pastors family that you will never know about unless you are a part of that family. Same goes for all others. Pastors are no more holy than you or me; people sometimes get that impression, but it is completely false. Just because you committed your life to spreading God’s word, doesn’t make you any less human. You still have the same struggles and desires (although sometimes the struggles are amplified because of your position with the church).
My father is a preacher, I am gay and he doesn’t know. I am not ready to tell him and probably won’t be for a long time. I know what Mr. Haggard is going through and how it feels to be under a microscope. There is nothing the public likes more than a “holy” person falling from grace, It’s better than the freak show at a circus because it is not supposed to happen.
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Note: I am using a pen name in this comment, but if I need to be reached for any reason I submitted my e-mail address. It says “will not be published” but you never know.
I WOULD SUCK THAT 1000000 TIMES