Muggles are the cwaziest people, as Elmer Fudd might say if he could ever get the hat with the earflaps off and forget about wabbits.

Elmer meet Harry (Daniel Radcliffe, at right), in a just released still from the upcoming summer release Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix .

As the quite teenaged Harry demonstrates, every boy has a magic wand in Potterville — but we’ve already gone on at rococo lengths about the nude cheek of stage actor Daniel.

Harry knows all about knuckleheaded Muggles and their small-minded ass-backward Dursley ways. He would not be surprised — as neither were we — to read a story that appeared today in the Washington Post:

Pentecostal chaplain in the Army has a crisis of faith, switches to Wiccan and is booted out of the military. (more…)

As Landon tells it, he was walking along Lafayette when he was approached by our photographer.

“I’m a talent scout,” said the “talent scout” (our guy is a bit rambunctious.) “And I don’t know if you know it, kid, but you’ve just made it to the next round. Welcome to Hollywood.”

This astonished Landon, as it would anyone standing in the middle of snow-blanketed Detroit. “Huh?” was the predictable reply.

“Football player? Hockey player? What is it?” continued the photographer, who tends to get ahead of himself when confronted by the direct manly gaze of a young solidly built stud-pup.

“I’m a college student, dude. Hey quit it!” Our photographer had begun kneading the lad’s biceps.

“You are definitely onto the next round,” repeated the slap-happy scout. A Latin formerly from Manhattan, whom some find pushy (but we know is just warm and maybe a tad too expressive in that South of the Border way), our man had been tasked to crop up in various, perhaps overly genteel — gentile? — cities around the country, tapping shoulders for the betterment of Nightcharm and you, O reader.

Remembering the Prime Directive*, as Jean-Luc used to say, our man in the street pulled himself together and explained that he was inviting young Landon to Hollywood to be part of a fabulous nude photo shoot — surely every boy’s dream — and perhaps, if the stars aligned just right in various motel rooms, a shot at jerking off on film … for famed FRATMAN Studios!

As you must be imagining, Landon was, for a moment, speechless. “How much does this pay,” he managed, in a surprisingly even voice.

We will fade out at this point and leave the details of coarse remuneration to Landon, our photographer, and the God who attends to sparrow falls and other such busybody activities.

Suffice it to say, if you delve into Nightcharm’s Inner Circle, and follow all the links to the Fratman Theater, you will find our young man lying on a bed, with all promises of major stardom fulfilled. Sometimes there is such justice in the world!

(MEMBERS / non-MEMBERS take a free tour)

Somehow we knew “the Buff Boys of Boystown” would find their alliterative way into the Surreal and Continuing After-Death Life of Anna Nicole Smith.

West Hollywood’s finest appear in no more than a walk-on in this, the third act of The Prince and the Polegirl, and yet…

Who can look away when buns and pecs compete with each other for Most Outlandish Feature on a circuit boy’s body?

Who can not fully understand the mad lusting after such super-sized geegaws or why they would play so … definitive… so damning … a role in a certain paternity claim for the most fathered child in America?

From the wonderfully nasty newsletter popbitch : (more…)

At last, the male answer to The Hours.

We discover the heroes of the Inner Circle tearjerker, Flthy Ink — Pigs on a Trough, engaged in great thoughts and deep cheeks. Meet Chuck (he’s the intense one with all the tats) and Nick (the Virginia Woolf character.)

Nick is half mad, of course, but he won’t be putting stones in his smock because … well, Nick doesn’t wear smocks. Only cockrings with work boots.

So after gobbling each other’s man-chowder and discussing Mrs. Dalloway, the men wander down a hill. Nick climbs on an upturned water tank and lets the slings and arrows — not to mention the tongue — of outrageous Chuck have their way with him.

A stimulating conversation about stream of consciousness and the modernist narrative ensues, getting the tatted lads slavering all over each other once again. In a moving and wistful climax, everybody fucks everybody like there’s no tomorrow. (Nicole Kidman, eat your heart out!)

This steamy two-part Sexgaymes episode, with multiple cum-shots, is now playing in the Video section of our members-only area. Just visit the SexGaymes console and then select Flthy Ink — Pigs on a Trough from the drop down menu.

(MEMBERS / non-MEMBERS)

Peter Baker writes in The Washington Post:

While the House of Representatives debated weighty matters of war and peace yesterday, President Bush headed to the YMCA…

In a brightly lighted basement gym, he visited children bending paperclips into different shapes and urged Americans to volunteer as mentors. He talked not of armies in Iraq but of “armies of compassion” at home. Even the kids seemed confused. One asked why he came. “I came to see you,” the president responded. As the cameras clicked away, a 7-year-old boy made peace signs. “Put your hands down,” Bush chided playfully.

See photo here

We live, Gore Vidal observed during the Salem Witch Follies known as the Starr Investigation, in a nation “evenly divided between political reactionaries and religious maniacs.”

There isn’t a liberal in sight, he chortles — not a pretty sound — off the pages of The Last Empire — Essays 1992-2000 .

And, really, of all the “liberals” who have announced their candidacy for President in 2008, not a one wants to handle gay marriage in anything like a sober, informed way.

Not a one makes anything like a forthright declarative sentence in support of the full and equal civil rights of that dependable portion of their base that has been relegated to weekend trysts on Brokeback Mountain. (more…)

Okay, so far its been 24/7 Anna Nicole.

Every cable news station has turned into Access Hollywood.

War in Iraq? Bombs over Iran? Who gives a hoot!

All we wanna know is did Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband father Baby Dannielynn?

And so Nightcharm will scoop them all with 10 Totally True*, Totally Shocking Things About the Anna Nicole that Nobody Knew.

And when we say TRUE, we mean The Star true. We mean The Globe true! (At left, Anna does Marlyn in an ad for the animal-rights organization PETA.)

Here then are 10 things you’ll soon hear repeated — we’re sure — by the Inquiring Minds at 24/7 News, ever on the hunt to hike up ratings with new Anna Nicole tidbits. (more…)

We’re obsessed. We admit it. So sue us!

Yes, you’re correct. Arpad Miklos was featured only a couple of weeks ago on our front page.

But then after we received a press release that detailed how his cock had miraculously grown two extra inches during the last month we scrambled to bring him back to Charmed Life.

Much like a sighting of the Virgin Mary’s visage on a burnt piece of toast or tortilla, the news of Arpad’s expanding appendage sent flocks of photographers and dizzy-delirious fans pounding on the doors of the famous Sexgaymes Film Studios in Australia, demanding an explanation — and a look-see.

Not surprisingly, no explanation was given. But never fear, we’ve got the photo proof you’re hankering to see — and it’s right after the jump. (more…)