Somehow we knew “the Buff Boys of Boystown” would find their alliterative way into the Surreal and Continuing After-Death Life of Anna Nicole Smith.

West Hollywood’s finest appear in no more than a walk-on in this, the third act of The Prince and the Polegirl, and yet…

Who can look away when buns and pecs compete with each other for Most Outlandish Feature on a circuit boy’s body?

Who can not fully understand the mad lusting after such super-sized geegaws or why they would play so … definitive… so damning … a role in a certain paternity claim for the most fathered child in America?

From the wonderfully nasty newsletter popbitch : (read the full article)

At last, the male answer to The Hours.

We discover the heroes of the Inner Circle tearjerker, Flthy Ink — Pigs on a Trough, engaged in great thoughts and deep cheeks. Meet Chuck (he’s the intense one with all the tats) and Nick (the Virginia Woolf character.)

Nick is half mad, of course, but he won’t be putting stones in his smock because … well, Nick doesn’t wear smocks. Only cockrings with work boots.

So after gobbling each other’s man-chowder and discussing Mrs. Dalloway, the men wander down a hill. Nick climbs on an upturned water tank and lets the slings and arrows — not to mention the tongue — of outrageous Chuck have their way with him.

A stimulating conversation about stream of consciousness and the modernist narrative ensues, getting the tatted lads slavering all over each other once again. In a moving and wistful climax, everybody fucks everybody like there’s no tomorrow. (Nicole Kidman, eat your heart out!)

This steamy two-part Sexgaymes episode, with multiple cum-shots, is now playing in the Video section of our members-only area. Just visit the SexGaymes console and then select Flthy Ink — Pigs on a Trough from the drop down menu.

(MEMBERS / non-MEMBERS)

Peter Baker writes in The Washington Post:

While the House of Representatives debated weighty matters of war and peace yesterday, President Bush headed to the YMCA…

In a brightly lighted basement gym, he visited children bending paperclips into different shapes and urged Americans to volunteer as mentors. He talked not of armies in Iraq but of “armies of compassion” at home. Even the kids seemed confused. One asked why he came. “I came to see you,” the president responded. As the cameras clicked away, a 7-year-old boy made peace signs. “Put your hands down,” Bush chided playfully.

See photo here

We live, Gore Vidal observed during the Salem Witch Follies known as the Starr Investigation, in a nation “evenly divided between political reactionaries and religious maniacs.”

There isn’t a liberal in sight, he chortles — not a pretty sound — off the pages of The Last Empire — Essays 1992-2000 .

And, really, of all the “liberals” who have announced their candidacy for President in 2008, not a one wants to handle gay marriage in anything like a sober, informed way.

Not a one makes anything like a forthright declarative sentence in support of the full and equal civil rights of that dependable portion of their base that has been relegated to weekend trysts on Brokeback Mountain. (read the full article)

Okay, so far its been 24/7 Anna Nicole.

Every cable news station has turned into Access Hollywood.

War in Iraq? Bombs over Iran? Who gives a hoot!

All we wanna know is did Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband father Baby Dannielynn?

And so Nightcharm will scoop them all with 10 Totally True*, Totally Shocking Things About the Anna Nicole that Nobody Knew.

And when we say TRUE, we mean The Star true. We mean The Globe true! (At left, Anna does Marlyn in an ad for the animal-rights organization PETA.)

Here then are 10 things you’ll soon hear repeated — we’re sure — by the Inquiring Minds at 24/7 News, ever on the hunt to hike up ratings with new Anna Nicole tidbits. (read the full article)

We’re obsessed. We admit it. So sue us!

Yes, you’re correct. Arpad Miklos was featured only a couple of weeks ago on our front page.

But then after we received a press release that detailed how his cock had miraculously grown two extra inches during the last month we scrambled to bring him back to Charmed Life.

Much like a sighting of the Virgin Mary’s visage on a burnt piece of toast or tortilla, the news of Arpad’s expanding appendage sent flocks of photographers and dizzy-delirious fans pounding on the doors of the famous Sexgaymes Film Studios in Australia, demanding an explanation — and a look-see.

Not surprisingly, no explanation was given. But never fear, we’ve got the photo proof you’re hankering to see — and it’s right after the jump. (read the full article)

Good news, bad news.

Gay people are no longer the most reviled group in America. We’re the second most. That’s the good news.

The Gold in the Hate Olympics goes to the atheists.

According to a recent CNN\Gallup poll, the type of person that most parents (46%) would not want their children to grow up to be are those who do not bow down to that great American thunder-hurler who dwells where the eagles soar.

Coming somewhat tardily in for the Silver (at 26%) are those of us who, as the college kids now say, have seen Dorothy — as in “Gay? Man, that guy’s so gay, he’s seen Dorothy.” (This comes as music to the wizen ears of those of us brought up on movies who wonder if our rich allusions to say, Karen Black fall on Xbox-sodden minds.) It will be only a matter of time before “godless atheist” replaces “faggot” on the playground as the slur du jour .

Did I mention, that was the good news? (Storm clouds gather over an American crossroads, above, in John Rogers Cox’s moody Gray and Gold.)

The bad news is: start packing your bags. Many readers will now part company with this writer and say that he is overstating the case. Really? (read the full article)

There she sat all listless, cocooned girth — occupying the couch completely. Her pooch Sugar Pie nuzzled against her belly. There would be no nap time interruptions — despite the spooky, toothless Texan cousin hovering outside the front door hankering to “just show Anna how much I love her.”

With her head buried into the sofa, Anna made slo mo swatting motions towards her lawyer and E!’s production crew.

But wait, suddenly she was stirring, squinting at the camera — the description of her cousin’s dental condition had captured her attention. Soon she was whining through a medicated haze, demanding “donut holes and chocolate milk.” Dough and libation were delivered.

Jump cut: Meticulously coifed and upright Anna. Gorgeous and glittering in her limo, ever-present drones beside her.

The Middle East crisis was broached. Anna: perplexed and blank and “Who’s killing the Jews?” she wanted to know. Her lawyer explained the political situation. Anna’s facial expression was pure female mall rat who’s just discovered that T.J. Maxx is no longer stocking her favorite shade of lipstick. Suicide bombers? “Why would they do that? Don’t they think it’s kinda painful?” (read the full article)

…and then, just walk away.

But don’t be angry. You’re lucky you even got to spend the night at his place, after that big college kegger the night before. Joe’s not the sorta guy that does that with just anybody.

Yep, he’s a footloose sorta dude, and, well, he probably doesn’t remember what the two of you did last night anyway. (Too many bong hits, he’ll tell you, after you got back to his place.)

So just love and admire him anyway. And then — yes — just walk away.

If it’s any consolation, he’s left you with an incredible jack-off video to remember him by (in our Fratmen theater) in The Inner Circle. We’ll keep it safe for you, so you can visit and replay it anytime you like. Over and over again.

Not a member? Spank yourself! Join now:

(Continues inside for MEMBERS / non-MEMBERS take a free tour)

Straight at last! Straight at last!

Good God Almighty, Pastor Ted is straight at last.

Ted Haggard, of whom we have written copiously (link) (link) (link) (link), has just stepped out of a reprogramming center and has gotten all those filthy thoughts about tweaking and rimming out of his perky blond head. The dizzy little smile has returned in all its Happy Holy Jesus insanity.

From today’s Denver Post [with choice Nightcharm commentary added]:

The Rev. Ted Haggard emerged from three weeks of intensive counseling convinced he is “completely heterosexual” and told an oversight board that his sexual contact with men was limited to his accuser.

That is according to one of the disgraced pastor’s overseers, who on Monday revealed new details about where Haggard has been and where he is headed.

The Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur also said the four-man oversight board strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work instead of Christian ministry if Haggard and his wife follow through on plans to earn master’s degrees in psychology. [Pul-eeeze! We're gasping!].

In the [email] message [to members of his church], Haggard revealed that he and his wife, Gayle, intend to leave Colorado Springs and pursue master’s degrees through online courses. (read the full article)