Good news, bad news.

Gay people are no longer the most reviled group in America. We’re the second most. That’s the good news.

The Gold in the Hate Olympics goes to the atheists.

According to a recent CNN\Gallup poll, the type of person that most parents (46%) would not want their children to grow up to be are those who do not bow down to that great American thunder-hurler who dwells where the eagles soar.

Coming somewhat tardily in for the Silver (at 26%) are those of us who, as the college kids now say, have seen Dorothy — as in “Gay? Man, that guy’s so gay, he’s seen Dorothy.” (This comes as music to the wizen ears of those of us brought up on movies who wonder if our rich allusions to say, Karen Black fall on Xbox-sodden minds.) It will be only a matter of time before “godless atheist” replaces “faggot” on the playground as the slur du jour .

Did I mention, that was the good news? (Storm clouds gather over an American crossroads, above, in John Rogers Cox’s moody Gray and Gold.)

The bad news is: start packing your bags. Many readers will now part company with this writer and say that he is overstating the case. Really? (more…)

There she sat all listless, cocooned girth — occupying the couch completely. Her pooch Sugar Pie nuzzled against her belly. There would be no nap time interruptions — despite the spooky, toothless Texan cousin hovering outside the front door hankering to “just show Anna how much I love her.”

With her head buried into the sofa, Anna made slo mo swatting motions towards her lawyer and E!’s production crew.

But wait, suddenly she was stirring, squinting at the camera — the description of her cousin’s dental condition had captured her attention. Soon she was whining through a medicated haze, demanding “donut holes and chocolate milk.” Dough and libation were delivered.

Jump cut: Meticulously coifed and upright Anna. Gorgeous and glittering in her limo, ever-present drones beside her.

The Middle East crisis was broached. Anna: perplexed and blank and “Who’s killing the Jews?” she wanted to know. Her lawyer explained the political situation. Anna’s facial expression was pure female mall rat who’s just discovered that T.J. Maxx is no longer stocking her favorite shade of lipstick. Suicide bombers? “Why would they do that? Don’t they think it’s kinda painful?” (more…)

…and then, just walk away.

But don’t be angry. You’re lucky you even got to spend the night at his place, after that big college kegger the night before. Joe’s not the sorta guy that does that with just anybody.

Yep, he’s a footloose sorta dude, and, well, he probably doesn’t remember what the two of you did last night anyway. (Too many bong hits, he’ll tell you, after you got back to his place.)

So just love and admire him anyway. And then — yes — just walk away.

If it’s any consolation, he’s left you with an incredible jack-off video to remember him by (in our Fratmen theater) in The Inner Circle. We’ll keep it safe for you, so you can visit and replay it anytime you like. Over and over again.

Not a member? Spank yourself! Join now:

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Straight at last! Straight at last!

Good God Almighty, Pastor Ted is straight at last.

Ted Haggard, of whom we have written copiously (link) (link) (link) (link), has just stepped out of a reprogramming center and has gotten all those filthy thoughts about tweaking and rimming out of his perky blond head. The dizzy little smile has returned in all its Happy Holy Jesus insanity.

From today’s Denver Post [with choice Nightcharm commentary added]:

The Rev. Ted Haggard emerged from three weeks of intensive counseling convinced he is “completely heterosexual” and told an oversight board that his sexual contact with men was limited to his accuser.

That is according to one of the disgraced pastor’s overseers, who on Monday revealed new details about where Haggard has been and where he is headed.

The Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur also said the four-man oversight board strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work instead of Christian ministry if Haggard and his wife follow through on plans to earn master’s degrees in psychology. [Pul-eeeze! We're gasping!].

In the [email] message [to members of his church], Haggard revealed that he and his wife, Gayle, intend to leave Colorado Springs and pursue master’s degrees through online courses. (more…)

Atwitter this week the gay blogs have been.

And not just the gay blogs, the mainstream media as well. Everyone seems tweaked over some shirtless shots of “Harry Potter” (actually, the actor who plays him, Daniel Radcliffe, at left), who at 17 looks 17 and so sports a modestly adult body. This body comes standard with such secondary characteristics as five-o’clock shadow and those wisps of hair that taper from belly button to pubes, lovingly called “a treasure trail.”

Here’s what’s roiling those who are roiled by such things: Radcliffe has very famously played a child — a child increasingly younger than himself as the Potter movies lag the Potter books by about two and a half years. (When the series ends, Harry will be all of 17*.)

The commotion is not so much about Radcliffe’s rather staid display of shirtlessness but the fact that the pictures were taken in conjunction with the actor’s coming debut on the London stage in a play where he will be — try not to yawn — briefly nude in a few artfully dimmed scenes. (more…)

Sort of sums up his whole career.

Well, not really.

But that was the headline we conjured in a dream the other night — after watching waaaaay too much footage of Aaron playing with his instrument in our latest video footage for the Inner Circle.

You can see what we mean when you stop into our Fratmen theater and get in synch with all of Aaron’s jackin’ and strokin’. And spraying! Who cares that he can’t sing.

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