We find these truths to be self evident.

Anyone who has stood at a line of urinals knows that wandering eyes are a common occurrence — one hardly limited to gay men.

Straight men do it almost as if on autopilot and differ from gay men in this not so much by degree as by intent… an intent say, to — in the words of those Marry a Millionaire shows — “take it to the next level.”

Thus, the fuss this week in the gay blogosphere over a hardly eye-opening study on lingering gazes will provoke in Nightcharmers merely a wry smile.

Despite all the play it got after one slap-dash (and typically analysis-free) blogsite posted it, the study came out a full two years ago. It was not even based on the sort of sample size or geographic variety we like to see in our pop-science. In fact, the study involved all of 255 New Yorkers.

The researchers were attempting to measure the effectiveness of web design, and here is what these far-sighted Christopher Columbuses discovered.

When shown full-body shots of men — a baseball player, in the example, winding up to bat the ball — women focused on the face, while men spent the lion’s share of their attention on the batter’s package. Face time in this eyecandy race came in a distant second for the men.

Dick obsession in men could have been confidently predicted by anyone who ever sat for a few hours in front of the Nature Channel. Evolution favors competitive males. The competitive instinct in the male of any species is at its root a contest to win fertile females. To males, bigger is better. Big breasts, big hips, big lips (mimicking, we are told, though the alchemy of evolution, the moist labia) — all make impregnation more viable.

Also big dicks — at least by the human male’s lights. Stags check out each other’s antler size, gorillas each other’s chest spans, guys — well we guys do our evolutionary homework at the urinals.

The bigger the dick the more potent the man is our philosophy (one that we hear is not shared by the human female for whom a humongo dick may seem more work than its worth.) Thus, the classic version of a man’s ultimate humiliation is the female laughing at his undersized jing-jang — a cultural anxiety illustrated all too often by Madison Avenue and much too terribly by Abu Ghraib.

In addition, it will not surprise the inveterate Nightcharmer to learn that the men were focused, in general, on “the private anatomy,” to use the study’s graceful phrase. It didn’t matter a wit whether the photos were of men, women or — in our favorite factoid from the study involving the American Kennel Club — animals.

Puppy dog tails, you will recall, are one of those magic ingredients that go into the making of we wee laddies. Apparently a certain doggy predilection to sniff at rear ends comes with it.

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