It lifts!
It cups!
It molds!
Yes, as the wise old strippers of Gypsy told the young Natalie Wood, you can pull all the stops out till they call the cops out, grind your behind till you’re dead. But you gotta get a gimmick, girl, if you wanna get ahead.
And who doesn’t need a gimmick today! A little extra, a little boost in these competitive, out-sourcing times?
The gals used to call them falsies — bra padding and flying- buttress wiring to augment their pretty little cupcakes — but we guys … well, the best we guys had was the Sling from International Male …
Ah the Sling! How it brings back those sweet, soft afternoons when we were hardened rent-boys on Santa Monica Boulevard, driving equally hard bargains as we “hitchhiked” under the beating L.A. sun, all bulges and pecs and short-shorts — courtesy of El Sling-o!
But that was yesterday! The old Sling would look positively quaint and flimsy against the latest in not-so-little white lies, the new and improved WONDERJOCK from Aussiebum.
“We wanted to lift and present everything forward,” says Wonderjock “engineer” Guyon Holland. “We didn’t think size was such an issue,” adds designer Sean Ashby with an air of bemusement. “If you look at the Wonderbra for women, size is. Guys are just balancing the equation. And we just happen to create something that puts it all out there.”
We’ll be the judge of that. Witness:
As of course you’ve already surmised, the Wonderjock sold 50,000 units in the first five days, becoming an instant internet bestseller. “It literally blew out our server last night,” acknowledges Ashby, still in a state of permanent bemusement. (Oh pul-eeze, like you didn’t know that men were complete dickhounds about their own packages! Who doesn’t like a little … gift-wrapping!)
You can order a pair here. Meanwhile, don’t miss this fun-packed Aussie news report on the Wonderjock, featuring a delightful before-and-after segment. (And here’s some more Nightcharm musings on Aussies in Their Underwear.)
Too bad I don’t need one, it looks amazing. What would happen if you don’t need any “padding” and you use a Wonderjock anyway? Will Battle of the Bulge ensue??
I hope so. I love looking at bulges.
Wouldn’t they sell more if they offered some that weren’t so bright and garish? Who but a club-hopping tweaker would wear those?
I really don’t know why someone would buy that. If you don’t have a natural buldge, then when you take off ur pants to …..u know what…u r going to embarass yourself. I dont like to be mean or anything, but I have a natural buldge as some people call it. And if a man is really embarassed by size, then take pills…! Right?
It’s a little weird that he has to keep adjusting it like that.
But dude - that guy is hot. Especially in the first picture. He reminds me of my ex.
Bulges really aren’t that important.
>>”It’s a little weird that he has to keep adjusting it like that.”
I was thinking, “It’s probably because his balls are itchy from being wadded up into a little pouch,” but watching the video clip, I see what you mean. I’d keep adjusting too, if the waistband naturally kept riding down below my pubes.
Ultimately, I fail to see what the big deal is. Are any of the bulges generated truly impressive? It’s not like any of these guys look like they’re hung like Ken Ryker for wearing these.
There was a product in the late 70’s called the “Pants Enhancer”
I really only remeber it because it was joked about among my friends so much. (yes gay friends) FYI richie
These underwear models are really gorgeous, but I think the pants are more effective at enhancing their cute butts than their - not too impressive - buldges. I remember cruising a guy wearing some speedos with special crotch enhancement at a gay beach while I showed off my natural buldge. I thought his was natural, too. When later the swimwear came off in the bushes, I was a bit disappointed at what he had to offer while he gasped at what I could show him. Sometimes a little understatement pays off.
Really hung guys will wear boxers or go commando under their levis anyway, when cruising other guys. Some classical Kevin Klein briefs are comfortable and sexy, too.