In Ancient Sparta, the only way they could separate the men from the boys was with a crowbar — and crowbars wouldn’t be invented for hundreds of years to come. So it was all fuck, fight, and fuck some more.

Above we see a recreation from the film 300 of the Ancient Spartan Come-Hither Look. Come hither and I’ll kill you — but first, Hector, we fuck! Ah Sparta. Such romantics.

And yet, ASTONISHINGLY, in 300, there was plenty of man ass running around but not a sign of men assing around in that … how shall we put it, classically Greek way.

In fact these movie Spartans deride Athens for its “boy-loving ways.” (Somebody, we think, is protesting wa-ay too much.) Fact: in the actual Sparta, homo sex was a requirement of warrior training (a saner and more natural military policy we have yet to come across).

Thank Apollo and Hyacinthus then that some bright gay YouTuber would not let that insult to history stand.

Kenneth Hill, a beloved reader of Nightcharm, who is also the managing editor of the AOL Gay and Lesbian Forum, as well as the keeper of his own personal blog Queersighted, unearthed this YouTube gem (below the jump) and brought it to our attention.

Get out your rubbers boys. Cause your gonna get ab-so-lutely soak-ing wet!

And here’s further proof, if any more were needed beyond the evidence of your own two eyes, that 300 is gay porn on steroids which no possible tweaking could de-queer. Check out this obviously straight-boy effort to set our same 300 porn-toons to music, and see if it doesn’t make the film even more fucky-sucky hot.