The Battle of the Foreskin: Can You Measure Pleasure?By John Calendo / Saturday, April 21st, 2007
Forty guys — 20 cut, 20 un — were tested to see which group was more sensitive to “genital sensory stimulation” — that’s lab-speak for “pleasure.”
So the 40 dicks were stretched. The 40 dicks were pulled. The 40 dicks were tickled until they blushed a violet crimson.
And what did the 40 dicks yield?
“Research theory, and popular belief, all suggest that penile sensation is greater in the uncircumcised as compared with the circumcised man.” the researchers wrote, stating their premise, then noting that previous testing had always been done on flaccid dicks. By contrast, they would study the upright penis in all its unfurled glory, ones that had been hardened using erotic stimuli such as porn films — as well as non-erotic control stimuli. (Young men, God bless ‘em, can get hard staring at blank walls!)
“Touch and pain thresholds were assessed on the penile shaft, the glans penis, and the volar surface of the forearm.” (The forearm? Dicks have forearms? Actually, touching the arm, as opposed to the penis, seems to be the control.) “Sexual arousal was assessed via thermal imaging of the penis.”
The result: everybody got hot, but uncut men got hotter. What you expected, right?
But not so fast.
This, it turned out, was not the definitive finding it seemed at first. The only reason uncut men got hotter was because they started at a “significantly lower penile temperature than circumcised men.”
Final answer: “No differences in genital sensitivity were found between the uncircumcised and circumcised groups.”
Obviously gay men did not design such a useless use of 40 erect dicks. If there were any gay men on that research team, comprised of three women and two men, they were certainly not Nightcharm readers or in touch with their inner feelings.
You see, boys and girls, nobody cares how uncut cocks feel, poor misunderstood darlings though they may be, huddled in their hoods. It’s how they fucking look! Fact is fucking feels great for everybody, cut or uncut — except, of course, for certain religious conservatives who, we understand, immediately bite off the head of their mate.
When it comes to the Sheathed abd the Shorn, there really is no contest. While we’ve all met guys who are beyond crazy for folds and folds of foreskin, have you ever met anyone who obsessed on circumcised peter?
Neat, perky, forthright head of penis simply has no fan club of its own, no websites with thousands of galleries, no dedicated niche in the porn market. The pandemonium is all on the other side.
Maybe it’s an American thing, this obsession, because our boys are routinely and scrupulously circumcised. Most countries don’t do this, certainly not as a matter of policy.
But then most countries weren’t founded by Puritans. Most countries don’t have the Undead of Plymouth Rock coming back on them generation after generation in the form of — oh, just off the top of our head — the hygiene films of the 1950′s that were showed in high schools well into the 1980′s, the cult of the YMCA with its rows of showers, the general practice of modeling American boys on the military aesthetic (briefly interrupted by the woolly nature children of the 1960′s) seen in crewcuts and, of late, shaved heads (so like the cut dick.)
Clean as a whistle is our thing.
To good patriots like ourselves, drooling foreskin seems foreign, mysterious … dirty. (Not that that there’s anything wrong with dat!) A bit of the Dawn of Man, perhaps, untouched by science. Oh, very hot in the Neanderthal division of hot — but can we make a terrible confession that you promise you won’t hold against us. Uncut dicks — well, they always reminds us a bit of that classic road-trip menu item: pigs in a blanket.
Lets hear it for the all-American penis. For the streamline silhouette and swept-back lines of the exposed cap. Nine out of 10 horndogs agree: cut dicks needs love too.
ATTENTION FELLOW SCIENTISTS AND FORESKIN RESEARCHERS:
Interested in a really good, substantial discussion on foreskin, filled with facts and first-person experience? Check out the commentary left by Nightcharm readers on two previous pieces.
The in-depth analysis will blow you away. It did us.
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