We always knew Angelina Jolie was a goddess but, Jesus, we had no idea!

Behold Our Lady of the Wal-Mart.

Patroness of the Checkout Counter, Mystic Rose of the Tabloids, Guardian of Children in Every Color of The Rainbow.

Pray for us.

Or adopt us.

Yes, Angelina is simply too impossibly beautiful for even committed and confessional dickhunters like us to resist!

The painting Blessed Art Thou has an asking price of $50,000 and was intended, says artist Kate Kretz, to address “the psychological ramifications of celebrity worship, particularly as they relate to class and consumerism.”

Though she has painted and exhibited for 20 year, none of Ms. Kretz’s previous work has ever garnered the attention she received when the painting appeared at a Miami art show in 2006. Predictably, a small but vocal group picketed the event.

“The title Blessed Art Thou,” she wrote on her blog at the time, “is taken from a line in the Catholic prayer Hail Mary: ‘…Blessed art thou among women.’ Our culture is deifying celebrities, but in the Bible, it is the meek who are blessed. (more…)

When you’re getting fucked every which way to Sunday, when every hole is being jammed and every member engorged, a certain …

… calm descends.

The bodhisattvas called it — well, we don’t know what the hell the bodhisattvas called it — but they had a word for it, this deep, contemplative state.

Perhaps it was transcendence. Perhaps it was Piggy in the Sty.

But it’s a feeling that pitches you way out there … beyond the body that is being so relentlessly drilled, that is being left behind … and into the motion — yes, the motion in the ocean of humanity!

It is here where to serve others is to serve oneself, as there are no others, there is no self.

We call this The Getting Fucked in Every Orifice Moment of Self Awareness.

It is when you understand, finally and fully , the words of another mystic, a Western one: Iggy Pop

And now I want to be your dog.

The luxurious self-abasement that is self-fulfillment.

Inscrutable, yes? But not really in the end. (more…)

It’s important to take a moment, sometimes, to admire the creativity of our fellow man. To smell the roses, among other things.

Here, a man celebrates his almost maternal, umbillical connection to a favorite feline friend. We aplaud his earnest tribute.

Also of interest: John Calendo’s Voluptuous Horror of Cats.

OMYGAWD! OMYGAWD!

MONEY QUOTE:
“It is a beautiful moment in the book, full of…RAW…RAW …honesty.”

Of course, this is another wicked spoof from the Onion

The jowly Christian Fundamentalist Jerry Falwell had many a moment when his fanatical McCarthy-style crusade to stem the great Gay Menace pushed the limits of logic.

His paranoia reached its comic apex in his 1999 much-reviled diatribe against the phenomenally-successful British children’s series The Teletubbies. His target was the purple member of the ensemble Tinky Winky (seriously) whom he hilariously vilified as some sort of subliminal gay message.

Of course, when one demented bigot dies another usually takes his place. Enter Polish conservative Ewa Sowinska, a government-appointed media watchdog/children’s advocate who’s ready to assume Falwell’s mantle and crack down on the dangerous homosexual propaganda the Teletubbies brazenly trade in. (more…)

There are so many things right with this picture of the ultimate alterna-boy, Jonathan Rhys Myers, returning to his car after shopping for dinner that we feel compelled to point them out to you.

In fact we feel these photos should be used as instructional examples for all aspiring male sex symbols to study before ever venturing out into public. (more…)

Many things fall out of closets – not least of which are skeletons and homophobic pastors. But in the case of Michael Jackson we are expecting a a piñata full of tightly wrapped craziness soon to hit the auction floor and explode.

The auction, set to be held on May 30 and 31, against the singer’s wishes, in — but how perfect — Las Vegas, will offer to the discerning connoisseur a lifetime’s accumulation of costumes, souvenirs and just plain shit. (more…)

It all started with a simple profile on a big muscle guys website. From there fame claimed a new denizen.

Actually it was Raging Stallion that did the claiming. And you’ve gotta give big props to the studio’s model scout. Dirk Jager is an amazing male specimen.

Raging Stallion “came across my profile and sent me an e-mail asking me if I’d be interested in doing video work,” Dirk explains. “I said yes, and they sent me the ticket.”

The thoroughbred hails from Berlin. Has piercing blue eyes. A humongous uncut cock. And the most perfect set of abs ever sculpted into flesh.

Dirk articulates carefully in broken English that he is “strictly top.” And we couldn’t imagine it any other way!

His “real life job” is in graphic design but the furry giant has also done some side work for Sexgaymes, the Australian porn studio. And guess what? Our members area, the Inner Circle, is featuring Dirk’s burn-down-the-kitchen scene — complete with an award winning deep throating session from co-star Tag Adams — in our Sexgayme’s theater.

Check out these scortching vid caps — and then join us inside. NOW!

(MEMBERS / non-MEMBERS take a free tour)