They’re both nude. A man and a woman. Hip-deep in a jungle pond, their genitals thoughtfully concealed by gently swirling lily pads.
The woman’s long dark hair, as hair always does in these tableaux, carefully hides her breasts. Two giant white lotuses bloom beside the Biblical couple.
Yes, Virginia, this is Adam and Eve on their first date.
At least as it’s depicted at Cincinnati’s new 60,000 square foot Creation Museum — a museum that “brings the pages of the Bible to life.” And not just with animatronic dolls (left), but with a video of Adam and Eve in all their near-naked glory.
You read correctly, a video depicting how life as we know it really, really began (or so the museum claims): A solitary man. His magical rib. A miraculous mutation. A Wooo-man.
A snake … and then …
A career in porn?
Yep, porn creep strikes again, in God’s garden no less.
As so often befalls those associated with our country’s most sacred enterprises, sex and porn continue to have their way.
In our garden variety tale it’s Adam — er, Eric Linden (left), the hunky actor who plays Adam in Cincinnati Eden — who is currently under fire for associating himself with number one, S-E-X, and number two, S-F-X, a racy clothing company that depicts Linden in one of its ads showing off a T-shirt while he seems to be getting a blowjob.
RAW STORY gives us all the juicy details:
A jaunt around the Internet shows Linden posing alongside a drag queen on an explicit Web site he owned called Bedroom Acrobat … The Web site allows its network of members to post explicit stories and photos.
When it learned of Linden’s activities with the Web site, the Creation Museum in Kentucky pulled the 40-second video in which he appears.
“We are currently investigating the veracity of these serious claims of his participation in projects that don’t align with the biblical standards and moral code upon which the ministry was founded,” a spokesman for Answers in Genesis, which built the newly opened museum, said in a written statement to AP.
A note on the Bedroom Acrobat site, accessed by RAW STORY Friday morning, says it is being re-launched and Linden is no longer affiliated with the site in any way.
“We are here as a comical, silly and extremist view of sex as a whole, not a porn site!! Relax and laugh a little …” the site says. “And if you are not a Bedroom Acrobat, that is you and your significant others (sic) problem, not mine!”
An archived version of the page from last year describes it as “the domain of the sexually advanced.”
Linden also sells clothing for SFX international, whose logo appears to spell “SEX” from afar, AP reported.
A native of Columbus, Ohio, Linden now lives in Los Angeles and told AP that he handed off control of the Bedroom Acrobat site. He told AP he has great respect for the founders of the Creation Museum.
With a calm, gentle manner Mr. Linden laid it on the line for anyone who might have trouble making the distinction between ‘reel life’ and, well, real life:
“For the Creation Museum, I did what I did as an actor,” he explains. “It doesn’t necessarily mean I believe in evolution or that I believe in creation. I’m hired to get a point across. On the flip side, if I was hired to play a murderer, that doesn’t mean I’d go out and kill somebody. It’s make-believe.”
That it is Eric, that it is.
Seems like the “museum” could’ve at least done a cursory check of his resume. It’s astounding that no matter how hard the sex-phobic right wing tries, smut seems to be turning up more and more in its tidy little backyard.
You also have to love the scientific accuracy the organization exhibits. Not only did God provide Adam and Eve with hair extensions, electrolysis, mascara, self-tanner, and the South Beach diet (it’s like “One Million Years B.C.” complete with dinosaurs tossed into the mix), but the two apparently anticipated a Victorian-style modesty that wouldn’t arrive for supposedly several thousand years (?!). Why the world’s first two inhabitants would have a socially-constructed sense of shame regarding the natural state they were born in is mystifying. Another more science-oriented museum would condescend to show its primitive men and women nude and bearing no relation to modern ideas of attractiveness or propriety, but here we get the real story as God intended. I’m guessing the dinosaurs play fetch and the great apes ride tricycles.
Thanks Creation Museum! You learned me good!