10. Stop with the Plywood Gloryholes, Please!

Not all productions have to have King Kong budgets. Cheap-o amateur releases have their own charm and enormous followings. A straight- looking dork with a tough set of pecs and guns to match can succeed at being sexy, lurid, erotic, brilliant, and worth every penny.

Thing is if we buy an amateur video, we should pay amateur prices. Yo, Mr. Porn Producer! Crummy lighting and plywood sets do not require putting your house up for a second mortgage. Renting a room at a Days Inn, as well as some Jenna Jameson videos for your star to watch, does not make this an Andrew Lloyd Webber extravaganza.

On the other hand when we buy the latest $79.95 big-budget bonanza, we damn well better get our money’s worth. It better be excessively overblown — in every sense of that word! Shot in villas and on foreign shores. For 80 bucks, we want a cast of thousands — great looking men having fantastic sex with hallucinatory sunset lighting everywhere.

And a soundtrack we can dance to.

9. Spare us the Shaved Man-Pussies

Shaving is for pussies — literally. Listen up, you princes of porn, you big-balled sultans of swing. The only part of you that should be shaved is your head — so that it more resembles a dick. You — no matter what you may feel deep down when men shower you with gifts and call you a movie star — are not a woman. If you were, a trimmed quim might be cool. Female genitals are hidden inside the body so it makes sense to clear away the brush.

But dig it, you’re a meat puppet, Jocko. It’s already hanging out there, ready to go. Bald pubic areas look awful. They infantalize and neuter a guy. It may be next to godliness, but when it comes to sex, there’s such a thing as being way too clean!

8. Not Enough Big Dicks

Sure, there are probably over eight million videos devoted solely to the glory of Monster Dick. We say, why not 80 million?

Cock-worship is at the heart of all things homo. It unites every gay male around one gigantic lingam pole, where we can join hands, revel in our commonality, and go quietly nuts.

If we don’t see the kind of cock that rates its own zip code on an average of one every cinema minute, we might think, oh shit, we’re sitting through The Hours again!

Don’t short shrift us. (read the full article)

Early on in my single life, I discovered that I could have the man of my dreams in my bed every single night. Yes, the man of my dreams was also the man in my dreams, but that didn’t make our sex life any less remarkable. Keep in mind that erotic dreams tend to be very "real" and concrete. Maybe it has to do with the fact that the sexual instinct is, by nature, practical and down-to-earth. Whatever the case, I’ve never had a hazy, ethereal dream full of symbolism about romantic transcendence. My erotic dreams are down and dirty, full of sweaty grunting and hard thrusting. I also tend to remember my erotic dreams. They don’t fade away upon waking up, just as you don’t forget a really good fuck from the night before. In lucid dreams, you are in control of the action. A part of you realizes that you are dreaming, and you become the director of your own porno movie. (read the full article)

Basically, Maximo Latino has more than a few really fine-looking guys in front of their camera on a regular basis. I love Latin men — but when they look like our cover star Ignacio I get a little bit loco.

I’m prone to overstatement, but Ignacio has got to be one of the most attractive, sexually intense and nasty guys walking the planet today.

I don’t think a lot of superlatives are required when you can, with your own two eyes, scope the perfect facial structure, lean fuckable body, and big-ass dick between his legs. In my own mind, I’m drawing parallels to Jeff Stryker, and a garden variety of men’s fashion models from the late 90s.

(MEMBERS / non-MEMBERS take a free tour)

Outing. It’s not just for politicians, celebrities, pro athletes, and your dad anymore. You don’t even have to be three dimensional to have people wondering which way you swing.

Cartoon characters are facing the same laser intensity of gaydar as anyone else in the public eye.

What was the deal with Snagglepuss? Did little Jonny Quest have two daddies? Were Vanity and Hefty the gayest of the already queer manly commune known as the Smurfs?

And didn’t The Peanuts‘ Peppermint Patty and Marcie seem different than the frillier girl members of the Charlie Brown posse? On some level we’ve always suspected that the tastes of Scooby-Doo ‘s Velma Dinkley leaned more toward Josie & The Pussycats than Thundarr The Barbarian.

Few characters elicit the amount of near-unanimous speculation as the Reagan Era phenom He-Man does. For grade schoolers in the 80s more taken with Dick than Jane, He-Man & The Masters of The Universe was weekly catnip. Years later we’re sure the series meant to present us with a robust action hero who could teach us valuable life lessons. What we really appreciate it for are the curvaceous bodies- rotoscoped over actual bodybuilder models- swaggering toward the camera, the brazen flexing, rippling limbs grappling in combat, and shots being framed from the back between clenched asses and gigantic thighs. (read the full article)

“In Iran, we don’t have homosexuals like in your country.”

This jaw-dropping claim was made today by the President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, during a talk he gave at Columbia University in New York. “We don’t have that in our country,” he asserted to a burst of shocked laughter and a smattering of boos and hisses.

“In Iran, we do not have this phenomenon,” he persisted, undeterred. “I do not know who has told you that we have it.”

Perhaps the photo above will refresh your memory, Mr. President.

From the UK Gay News, circa 2005:

Two gay teenagers were publicly executed in Iran on 19 July 2005 for the ‘crime’ of homosexuality. The youths were hanged in Edalat (Justice) Square in the city of Mashhad, in north east Iran. They were sentenced to death by Court No. 19.

Iran enforces Islamic Sharia law, which dictates the death penalty for gay sex.

One youth was aged 18 and the other was a minor under the age of 18. They were only identified by their initials, M.A. and A.M.

(read the full article)

Deep sleepy eyes. A golden glow. Dark hair. A cock that could do some damage. A butt that asks — no, begs to be fucked. Hard.

Of course we’re talking about Dominic Pacifico, San Francisco’s super-fancy DJ-turned-professional-butt-boy. You might know Dominic from his recent appearance in Joe Gage‘s vaunted return to directing, Arcade on Route Nine. He’s on the receiving side of the wall in a touching father and son glory hole scene.

As hot as that scene is, it only scratches the surface of what a downright nasty boy Dominic can really be. You’ve got to explore his vast archive of fucks on film to truly understand what makes him such an inspiration to aspiring anal fans the world over.

To that end, we’ve got a hum-dinger for you at the Sexgaymes theater in the Inner Circle (our exclusive members’ area). Dominant and hung, Fred Faurtin is our definition of a perfect top, and he certainly doesn’t hold back when it’s Pacifico’s tight little anus he’s filling up with hot dick. (read the full article)

We’re living in a world of stars and dust.

Between heaven –
and all that surrounds us.

We’re travelers here –
spirits passing through.

And the love we give is all that will endure…

Tears will leave no stain,
Time will ease the pain.

For every light that fades
Something beautiful remains.

Words are here, finally, superfluous. Let’s us listen then. Let us remember Pavarotti, both the Sacred and the Profane. (read the full article)

Society’s new sexual microcosm: the Men’s Room.

Gay Republican outings are the gift that just keeps on giving for us.

Not only do we get to witness years of pitiful self-loathing come crashing down upon a debased hypocrite, but we experience heterosexuals getting seriously deep as they ponder:

“Why, oh why!?” and “How could this have happened !?”

Their soul-searching always results in them wanting to peer into the murky depths of gay culture for the answer. If they really wanted to know, they’d look inward for the root cause.

Enter foxy, cerebral sex columnist Dan Savage to hold up a mirror to all the voyeuristic moralizing and lay bare what’s really driving Hetero Pillars of the Community into the stalls and headlines.

Larry Craig, like every other Right Wing closet case who’s been unearthed in the past seven years, has a problem, and no, it’s not just that he’s gay.

In the words of beleaguered outsider Dawn Weiner from Welcome To The Dollhouse: “Just because you’re a faggot doesn’t mean you’re an asshole.”

The problem is that Craig really believes he isn’t gay.

It takes years of denial, clandestine sexual encounters, go-through-the-motions marriages, and pathetic Bible thumping to get to that point. Gay is just the icing on top of a bitter cake made of delusion, dread, and sweet, sweet shame. Any self-respecting gay guy isn’t going to be caught dead doing it in a bathroom, much less in Minneapolis with this loser. (read the full article)

There’s no getting around it. If you’re a hot guy, eventually, at some point, you’re going to get fucked by Jake Cruise.

But even if you’re not so hot, this coming Monday, we’re proud to announce that we’ll be adding a new Jake Cruise theater to our already enormous collection of video feeds that we lovingly maintain for members of our exclusive Inner Circle.

Gay porn’s long-standing dirty daddy figure, Cruise has a well-deserved reputation for getting almost any guy he wants — and by ‘getting’ I mean plowing his butt. In fact, a certain level of disdain can be felt toward Jake from those with pointy skyward noses. Something about how he shouldn’t be using his position to create a sprawling, one man, self-serve cock buffet.

But those people would be missing the point, which I’ll spell out for them here. We all live vicariously through our daddy, Jake. We cannot resist the allure of his uncanny ability to sleep with men at least twelve steps above him on the hotness ladder. We put ourselves in his place and bask in the dreamy hope of also attaining such access.

Members of Nightcharm’s Inner Circle, of course, will have that self-same access on Monday, September 3rd. Mark your calendars.