from November 2005
10. Stop with the Plywood Gloryholes, Please!
Not all productions have to have King Kong budgets. Cheap-o amateur releases have their own charm and enormous followings. A straight- looking dork with a tough set of pecs and guns to match can succeed at being sexy, lurid, erotic, brilliant, and worth every penny.
Thing is if we buy an amateur video, we should pay amateur prices. Yo, Mr. Porn Producer! Crummy lighting and plywood sets do not require putting your house up for a second mortgage. Renting a room at a Days Inn, as well as some Jenna Jameson videos for your star to watch, does not make this an Andrew Lloyd Webber extravaganza.
On the other hand when we buy the latest $79.95 big-budget bonanza, we damn well better get our money’s worth. It better be excessively overblown — in every sense of that word! Shot in villas and on foreign shores. For 80 bucks, we want a cast of thousands — great looking men having fantastic sex with hallucinatory sunset lighting everywhere.
And a soundtrack we can dance to.
9. Spare us the Shaved Man-Pussies
Shaving is for pussies — literally. Listen up, you princes of porn, you big-balled sultans of swing. The only part of you that should be shaved is your head — so that it more resembles a dick. You — no matter what you may feel deep down when men shower you with gifts and call you a movie star — are not a woman. If you were, a trimmed quim might be cool. Female genitals are hidden inside the body so it makes sense to clear away the brush.
But dig it, you’re a meat puppet, Jocko. It’s already hanging out there, ready to go. Bald pubic areas look awful. They infantalize and neuter a guy. It may be next to godliness, but when it comes to sex, there’s such a thing as being way too clean!
8. Not Enough Big Dicks
Sure, there are probably over eight million videos devoted solely to the glory of Monster Dick. We say, why not 80 million?
Cock-worship is at the heart of all things homo. It unites every gay male around one gigantic lingam pole, where we can join hands, revel in our commonality, and go quietly nuts.
If we don’t see the kind of cock that rates its own zip code on an average of one every cinema minute, we might think, oh shit, we’re sitting through The Hours again!
Don’t short shrift us.
7. Mama, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Porn Stars
When a model is popular enough to qualify as a certified P*O*R*N S*T*A*R, he’s in trouble. Colton Ford, Michael Brandon, Jason Adonis – we can recite these names in our sleep. (And do.) But how many beautiful ways are there for one person to fuck?
How many combinations of star-on-star can we see before the yawns kick in and we decide, hell, we’d rather go to the source material? Moby’s Dick gives way to Melville. Dude, Where’s My Dildo is replaced by marathon viewings of That 70’s Show.
As with a print model, a man who manages to look different in each film will go a long way. Blame it on evolution. Blame it on the Bossa Nova. We guys like to plant our seeds into as many different holes as we can.
6. No Kissing? No Touching? No Service, Dickwad!
What ever happened to romance? What ever happened to the Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name except from the stage of a drag-bar, and then in the voice of Vicki Carr? Have all the soft-focus moments gone out of gay porn like so many dimples on a once 19-year-old ass? Actually, were they ever there in the first place?
Look, we like no-nonsense pig sex as much as the next guy, but how about some variety? How about some lip-locking? What is it with you steroid kings? Afraid your man-tan bronzer will smear? Or is it the rim breath?
5. It’s Why God Made Fluffers
Look, we get it. Work is a drag — for everyone. Having take-one, take-two sex in front of four lighting guys, three grips, one well-know director and a fluffer in a peartree — well, we can forgive you the stray moment when the eyes go dead, the mouth tenses with a stifled yawn … when you are obviously having second thoughts about not sticking with the real estate seminars.
And yes, we imagine it is a bitch to stay rock-hard and bushy-tailed all afternoon. But does the camera have to catch your less glorious moments for posterity? Semi-wood is just dandy in a Speedo. But a completely limp whang and you’re starting to hurt our feelings.
4. Even Helen Keller Made The Effort
Open your mouths, for Chrissake! We’re not asking you guys to recite Hamlet, but surely there’s more to fucking than groaning suck-it, suck-it, suck-it every time your eyes dilate. A little trash talk would be nice. A little pecking-order rough and tumble. Heck, some sweet nothings, even!
If bling-burdened rappers can pull a rhyme out of their ass with only the sketchiest relation to language, context or a grammar school education, why can’t you? Just say anything! Think of it as a sign of good faith, a flag waved from the ground that there really is intelligent life down there.
3. The Long Hello
How many times can a construction worker, or a plumber, or a pizza delivery boy find the front door open only to enter directly into — not the living room — but the bathroom where our hero is ever so excitedly showering himself?
How many times can the hunky poolman casually notice that Elroy is sunning himself naked on a deckchair with the largest erection in Southern California?
You’re killing us softly with the exposition, okay. It’s called the death by a thousand cuts. For every blistering man-on-man film, there are 50 others with tired plots, boring fuck scenes, and endless, endless hellos.
We don’t know what’s worse: the overambitious plotline-cum- travelogue with voiceover narration by a young-ish man “discovering” things about himself that have been made all too plain in at least 25 previous dick-flicks. Or the dead-voice delivery of our Great Lords of the Gym as they muddle through throw-away dialog?
2. Perfect is not Sexy
We blame Falcon Studios and their notorious “car wash” studio system: The company is known for its assembly-line of perfectly clipped, buzzed, buffed, and manicured models who never seem to have a tan-line out of place. We know, we know. Falcon has done a lot to beautify and masculine-ize the look of male porn. It’s just that their entire stable of studs — heart-stopping as some of them are — are now as bland as Velveeta cheese! Sort of like the Attack of Aberzombie and Flinch!
How is it possible that these superhuman porn dolls never seem to drip lube anywhere? Or struggle with a condom. (The rubber is always just magically on when the moment of truth arrives.) Manly perfection blurs when everyone in porn has the same terrific looks. And you just know if one of these gods went out of their way to get a little scuffed and scarred, it would be the most perfect scuff, the most devastating scar in the universe.
1. Tats and Pierced Everything
Nowadays there’s more ink on screen than in a colony of irrate squids. It’s as if all the up-and-comers in porn get their tattoos first, then they go to prison.
More annoying than tribal patterned biceps are plug-ugly studs in tongues and 15-bore silvers rings through cockheads. Prince Alberts were outrageous about 15 years ago. Now they’re just hard on the teeth when you’re blowing a 30-year-old. If these chrome atrocities have any fans at all, it would be certain Venice Beach dentists who service the deep-throating porn-star community.
And is there anything sadder than the super-buffed studmuffin who turns to the camera only to have us zero in on his twinkling bellybutton jewelry. Save that for Barbara Eden — who, by the way, had to live in a bottle!
What do you hate most about porn videos? Share it with us.
I hate the phenomena I call “Magic Pants”.
This is where the man/men are fully clothed and getting all sexy and aroused, and then “by Magic” all or most of their clothing is suddenly gone. I like it when they disrobe, and find it sexy. It’s part of the foreplay of sex, and feels unnatural and unerotic when it occurs. It’s what makes watching many Chi Chi LaRue films difficult for me. Which includes his (Chi Chi’s) constant “Magic Insertion” shots. Magic anything makes me a bit crazy as a rule.
Then, there is also my dislike of limp dick bottoms. It’s bascially inexcusable in a porn flick. Nothing magic about that at all.
the absolute worst is when guys are banging and fucking hard and I’m really getting into the buildup of the scen and then there’s a weird jump cut and then the same guys are suddenly standing or laying alongside each other jacking off until they cum. This is a total turn off. Like someone dowsed me with cold water. Directors need to know how scene-killing this is. It also shows the director’s lack of control on the set — and of his actors. Pitiful.
I also hate the previously described ‘magic pants’ & ‘magic insertion’ so common. I don’t understand all the slapping and don’t like it. Two guys having sex should be exciting, sensual and loving. If they have to lie back and jerk themselves off, it leaves me cold and very disappointed. If I wanted to watch JO, I would have bought a JO movie. I want to see two men enjoying each others body. Having the camera jump around suddenly to focus on the facial expression instead of the action is a real bummer, and a huge turn off, move back slowly and include both. A big problem I see are the Str8 actors/models that cannot or do not show any enthusiasm for their partner. No more “gay for pay” who just pretend they enjoy sex with another man, it shows and is blah. Hire guys that really want to suck cock or take it from behind. Dick size is not very important to me. Big is nice, but small/average, intact cocks between two or more men that show they are really enjoying themselves is so superior to just being big. Play with foreskin more, I wish I still had mine. And, finally, don’t circumsize babies. Let the man make his own choice, they don’t grow back and stretching just ain’t the same.
I disagree with that comment of shaved genitals. I think it’s a turn on to see smooth and sexy men.
I couldn’t agree with Jerry Ferry’s comment more. My personal “top” of the Top 10 is that the director either focuses on the actor’s disembodied face alone while he’s cumming or, even worse, never shows the actor’s face in ecstacy at all. I love it when the director shows the whole body during cumming: the face, the deep breathing, and the uncontrollable jerks of the body. Wow! And, two other things: (1) poor lighting (or a white background)during the cum scene (jeez…) and (2) having cum fly all over the place instead of concentrating on the small of the back or the belly so we can see the big load.
It’s about time someone listed all the crap that gay men have to watch in porn. I’m tired of the amateur bullshit that sells for topshelf prices — and the topshelf stuff that really is nothing more than robots going through the motions. Bring back the spirit of 70s pron!!!!!!
Is it this bad in the straight world? Inquiring minds want to know!!!
MR
What I hate are all the str8 men, that do the j/o solo’s and all the gay-for-pay men in porn. Listen if you suck and fuck and get sucked and fucked you are NOT, let me repeat myself, YOU ARE NOT STRAIGHT. Granted I understand, from former friends and acquaintences in the biz, that guys get paid a little more doing gay porn than str8 but enuff is enuff. I’m tired of all the twinks in the films as well. Give us some older 20something and 30 and even 40 something men.
And why do all the men seem to be cut from the same cookie cutter? Perfect muscles and at least 8 or more inches between their legs. Whats wrong with some off season bodybuilder, husky but solid men? Nothing as far as I am concerned. And while we are on the topic of men and cock why does everybody have to be 8.5 inches or more? A nice 6-7.5 inch cock is nice too. Seems to me that the Big cocked men I see in the vids are all wearing cock rings in hopes of keeping it hard. Also whats wrong with seening a cock go from soft to hard?
So tired of body shots as well. What this tells me is that the face of the guy we are looking at isn’t really blowing his load. Another studio trick as well as the bottle of watered-down hand lotion spraying on the torso. Yeah I told you I have friends in the biz that have told me quite alot actually. I want to see full body shots.
So having said all of that why can’t the producers just keep it real.
I disagree with your views of men shaving their bodies. I have a major shaving fetish and love the look and feel of myself and other men having totally smooth bodies. It has nothing to do with infantilism at all. How many youngsters do you know of that have pecs, six packs and hard cocks? The pic you posted looks nothing at all like anyone other than a hot 20 to 30 year old with no hair. It would never be mistaken for anything younger. So what’s the problem? It’s all personal preference. I do also like a nice hairy bear type as well. One does not always have to have the same flavor of ice cream.
I’m with those who disagree with the comment about shaved pubes. I think it’s a matter of personal taste and it’s cool either way – you like what you like and don’t like what you don’t like. But shaved pubes on a muscled body with a raging hard on don’t suggest infantilism to me at all. If a guy has muscles, a hard cock and can shoot jizz all over his chest he’s not a pre-pubescent kid. He’s a man. With or without pubes, it’s not something that’s ever confused me.
A guy’s shaved face or head don’t suggest infantilism. Why should shaved genitals when they’re on a guy who’s obviously well past puberty?
As with the hair on our heads or the hair on our faces we experiment with the hair on our crotches until we find something we like and that works for us. Shaving it all gone can be and often is a part of the process of discovery. I think it’s more a matter of personal preference than it is suggestive of a fetish that involves pre-pubescent boy’s bodies.
Hair or no hair down under isn’t a deal-breaker either way for me. I like it both ways but I have no interest whatsoever in pre-pubesecent boys. When it comes to porn I like seeing the occasional guy all shaved clean because it’s a nice contrast to the guys with hair.
And I understand that whoever wrote the column was expressing his opinion. This is just a different one.
Clearly speaking to connoisseurs. I myself side with the opinions of the author mostly, but maybe just a little trimming if the hirsute growth is too luxuriant.
Hair? no Hair? doesn’t bother me. But I don’t like ubber hairy. I think that a man who trims or shaves all of his body hair and genital hair is sexy because, to me, and this is what it means only to me, is that the man who trims or shaves has taken the time to groom himself. It shows that he takes pride in his over all appearance. That is not to say that uber hairy men dont but it means that if a man takes the time to shine his shoes and iron and press those slacks and shirts and has taken time to groom his body hair has some pride in himself.
Now days we see younger men that don’t give a damn how they look. Hair looks like it hasn’t been washed, clothes are tattered and torn and most of the time hanging off their butts so everybody can see their underware. Major turn off
Hi:
Just stumbled across your site and had to read this article. I agree with all 10 points. Sex is natural and all the ’stars’ have done it before, so WHY the NEED to direct, the NEED for coaxing talk, the NEED to go from 10 minutes of foreplay, to 10 minutes of oral, to 5 minutes (or less) of anal, then cumshot(s). If these guys are left more to enjoy the sex then all the better for the viewer. I love good sex, and even a half-undressed quickie can be the hottest, best sex ever. SEX does not always have to be structured, formulaic or very ‘pretty’.
I agree james sex should be spontanius.
I want more cock sucking an anal licking and in stranger places like parking lots and bath rooms or such.
Pet peeves? I find the shaved pubic area weird, too, although I’m flexible on what a guy does with his other body hair–maybe this is a girl thing, since I’ve only had sex with straight guys. Big, distracting tattoos when they’re on every model in a scene. And not only magic insertion, but magic condoms–every single time. In one vid (okay, it was a story vid), a guy’s scene partner actually put it on and lubed it up for him, and it was hot. Also, excruciatingly bad synthesized music and oh so obviously dubbed grunts and comments (or the same inane phrase repeated a thousand times). Bad rimming, like the model can’t actually bring himself to do it–just skip it and spare us your discomfort. Not only no chemistry, but no visible enjoyment either–that’s just so sad to me.
And then, on the other hand, there were Blake and Colton. I watched “Closed Set: The New Crew” again the other day, and saw all I like about gay porn. There were guys of all types (pre-taping interviews as a bonus), a cool jazzy score, actual real-time sounds and comments and directions, Damian Ford crawling around with his own video camera even as he got sucked into the action, a nice progression from two models to a huge group scene, and the aforementioned Blake and Colton just off to the side in their own world carrying on this streaming dialogue with their eyes and being real and sweet and hot all at the same time.
What bothers me —
First and foremost is a lack of chemistry between the players — is it really that difficult to find actors that actually have *some* interest in or at least response to each other? It’s so NOT a turn on when there are two blazin’ hot guys who have a chill hanging over their mischief. Or, worse, they each seem bored. Boring to watch, waste of time and money.
Second is the way rimming is portrayed most of the time. There is more to rimming than polite licking! Why do I only see full-tilt whole-hog rimming in kink videos? If they’re going to utilize it in ‘mainstream’ porn, they should do it up right! I mean, they go to the trouble of making fisting detailed, why do they skip over the meaty portions of rimming most of the time?
Then I agree 111% with the author’s opinion of shaved pubes – for me, too, they make a man’s body look infantilized [for the record, I hate the shaving of women in straight porn, too] and just as with shaved bodies, feminize him. Men have body hair, shaving all of it off turns them into boys [or, women]. Grooming is one thing, shaving entirely another.
And then, I have to agree with the comment above — Gay For Pay drives me bonkers! It is such an insult to all that drives the enjoyment of sex to imply that somebody can just do it as sport and not have any involvement with it. Last I checked, if you squirt your load it’s a result of stimulation that your body LIKES… There is no way I could ever cross over to the other side and have sex with women, and while I know many bisexuals, it is just insulting to my intelligence to publicize someone as Gay For Pay. The industry may think it enhances some aspect of machismo personae but for me it makes me never watch another of that guy’s films. Any hotness he has is immediately extinguished.
Please keep in mind, these are my individual opinions – in no way am I saying anyone anywhere has to agree with me. =)
Shaving is for pussies – no way! Smooth, toned, shaved guys will always be the best turn on. Working your tongue slowly across their smooth toned bodies from mouth to cock delights the senses every time. Who wants a mouthful of pubic hair when your gagging for that mouthful?
You know you guys bitch and BITCH about what you want to see or not see. Maybe if you people directed the comments to the studios they would take you seriously. Plus all the shit your talking about is silly there are enought companies for you Queens to choose from. Lucas Entertainment, Hot House, Blue Blake, Falcon,Eurocreme,All Worlds,TresureIslandmedia sxvideo and I can go on and on. There is something for everyone. When you want flesh bots you go to Falcon you want men you pick hot house or titan. As for the 6 inch cock comment I want my dicks to fill up the screen nothing is appealing about watching a 6 inch penis try to stay in an asshole. All it makes me think about is bad sex. Trust me the PUBLIC DOESN”T WANT TO SEE IT.. and if they do there are specialty videos… What what the issue is preference and those who pay and prefer what is being shown are going to see more of what they prefer. Personally I’d like to see more black bottoms with white tops but there doesn’t seem to be a preference for that…at least with the studios I like.. Look AROUND what you want could be laying on the ground right in front of you
Having previously worked behind the scenes in the porn industry for almost 10 years, I hate to burst everyone’s bubble… but honestly, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. The people producing these vids are totally out of touch with what the masses want. They think they can “dick-tate” to the masses what they SHOULD want! As a result, they don’t understand why these boring-ass vids are bombing. Abercrombie BOYZ don’t BUY videos! And those that DO BUY (or rent), are NOT interested in shaved, illiterate, Aber-Dorks!
Big cocks? They’re useless unless they’re HARD! I’d rather have a hard 6-incher than a soft, crystaled-up 8-9 incher, bound in cockring, being beat off like a Puritan churning butter. Cum shots? Make ‘em wet and dramatic, with multiple camera angles! Shaved hair? Hell no! If you want smooth skin on a man, supposedly better to see the ab definition, then go watch a transvestite video!
My big pet peeve lately is the film crew that can’t keep their asses BEHIND the camera. One duo, formerly from Kansas City, now from Phoenix are especially bad about it. They find some pretty decent guys who whether they are gay or straight enjoy gettin off with another guy. (I don’t check for their sexuality membership card) Anyway, two or more hot guys are really gettin into it, then next thing you know, one of these two guys is gettin into the middle of em, gettin their feel or worse standing behind the camera groaning “fuckin aaaa doooooood”. Buying their vids made me feel like I was subsidizing THEIR sex life and I stopped. Shut up and stay behind the camera!.
these guys who shave there dicks and pierce them make me want to chop that dk and make them swallow it whole
and flip i’v got a 1 1/2 in. dick
u know, when it cums to piercn yo dick and balls u must really be a super freak and must be able to withstand a lot of pain for instance a 13 incher in yo ass and a 9mm in yo mouth. But that is just nasty u sick son of a bitch. I would neva suck a dudes cock with all that piercing in it. I dont care if he took the rings out or not, thats is jus grodi. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ya little nasty. Now if u want to see a real sexy ass dude instead of all these not so good looking dudes go to dirty pics and look at Henry!! Oui Oui purrr he so fine make me want to kill my me want to go to france and pick me up one of dem!!!!!!!!!!!!
shaving is 4 pussies, but if u only have hair around the inner thighs u should at least make it look nice…
I HATE OVER ACTING TWINKS!, it like yea right.
i hate when there is an obvious bottom pretending to be the top and not doing a good job, one word “REFUND!!”
last but not least when the i hate dry wells, when comes and theres no sperm, i think the editor should take an extra step to take that out.
I agree entirely with this list, but I’m surprised no one’s mentioned one of my biggest aggravations: The endlessly long extreme closeup of coupled genitals. Sexy is seeing chemistry between individuals, bodies, faces–all the subtle, erotic elements of sex. Ten minutes of nothing but a cock pounding an ass is absolutely not sexy.
This is closely related to cameramen/editors who at the moment of orgasm show us nothing more than an extreme closeup of an ejaculating cock. That just ruins it for me–I want to see the guy’s face dammit. I want to see his body heave and twitch in the throes of orgasm.
I have gotten so frustrated with the synthetic, plastic, too-buffed, too-tanned, too-waxed, too-oiled, Ken-doll qualities of so many of the men in gay porn that I’ve even ventured into straight porn in the hopes of finding simple, unselfconsciously masculine men who will enthusiastically pound away at their partners with obvious interest.
Shaved anything is usually a disappointment, but I wholeheartedly agree that shaved pubes should be banned from gay porn. This is the antithesis of sexy and a huge, huge distraction.
I should be a porn director, because most of the big names in gay porn are clueless assholes and idiots.
1 word sexy for once soeone shows porn
Eurocreme has consistent big dicks in their vids:
Bike Boy, Beach Boy, Bar Boy, Bad Boy, Spy Boy etc.
I don’t mind a shaved crotch, either or, but there are kinds of body types that are sexy man, not just buff muscle boys who all too aften have not an ounce of passion in them. Puppy Productions Bareback Moments III has three awesome fuck scene with big cocks, especially like the Brazilian and the Belgrade. The Belgrade scene is one of the hottest, longest fuck scenes I’ve ever scene and the top is just lean slim stuff and what a fuck he throws. Titan Men rocks with intensely developed scenes filled with awesome sexual tension before you get to the sex as in Back to Barstow, 110 in Tuscon, Galeforce, Alabama Takedown but their Manplay series is just over the top sex with barely a kiss and no eroticism whatsoever, orgy/gang rapes more or less, not sexy.
One thing I don’t understand is why does Gay porn have to use condoms but straight porn doesn’t ? I know it’s a safety issue and needs to be pointed out for that, but do you feel that straight porn should be safety conscious also ?
I would love to go bareback and see it on film, but I know not to do it when there may be a potential danger.
What do you think?-
“Hairy” Red (Dan)
Well, I guess many guys would be interested in this lot, seen the comments placed. I also think gay sex-pics and movies, often just arouse my dick, not the brain. They’re never really hot guys, always shaved, head too, which I don’t think is very sexy actually. I like some pubic hear, I guess. Well, not that I’d like a bear or something, just the manliness shining at the spot you’d expect it most. Shaved guys are like, well, not-so-manly-men. Damn, hard to express, heh!
I do agree there should be more lovin’ in the porn. Of course, you bought it for the sex, but the mind wants somthing too ain’t it? At least, I think so. ‘Cause that computer of mine ain’t alive all f*cking day, but my mind is, and when I’m in bed in the evnin’s, I don’t wanna get up, start the computer, and get goin. I need a bit of a love story to, get started. So that’s one very good point.
And that ever-lastin’ piercings and tattoos. Now, I’m not against tattoos, In fact I’m in for one myself, but that has personal reasons, and is well thought of since quite a while. But piercings, and tattoos-all-over-the-place just make me feel disgusted
by the physical abuse, or extravagance. I really don’t want a metal thing on one’s red-end, just the flesh will do fine with me.
Well, that seems more than enough for now, D.A. Becker
P.S. I totallt agree with Tuffy. Those damned close-ups are a pain in the ass. Love should be more a part of porn then it is nowadays. Perhaps you failed to mention it because you didn’t see it that way? Or you guys just forgot. Anyhow, Tuffy, I agree, and do think you’d do great as a porn director.
D.A. Becker
my ever growing frustrations with gay porn:
1) the theatrics are starting to get rediculous! the spitting directly into each others mouth. Basically it is just another way to share slobber but there is just something degrading about the act as I see it and for me to see it is a major turn off. Cheesy role play also is a guaranteed leap to the fast forward button for me. Also, the amount of Eastern European porn is out of control.. is this porns equivelent of corporate off shoring? Bring it back home some!
2) shaved crotches.. cannot stand them ( I understand that it is a matter of taste but I still hate it just the same) It looks prepubescent and weird and kills my boner everytime. Stubble for pubes doesn’t cut it with me either.
3) Gay porn seems to have become devoid of any imagination anymore… it all seems to follow the same cookie cutter guidlines and how it starts, how long each dick gets sucked and moving on to the fucking which is represented with a mind numbing string of loops showing the same thing.. I try not to notice but after a while it becomes trite. Yeah, the options may be limited but mix it up.. it’s ok for a scene to not end up with ass pounding and vise-versa
4) It always amazes me how much of the various scenes, dialogues and actions are directly reinacted in the real time by so many men who seem to have missed the idea that porn is a fantasy and not a how-to or must-say demo film.. Please stop saying “suck THAT dick”, “fuck THAT ass” .. unless you happen to be Jeff Stryker, chances are it’s just not a natural to your m/o (and it will show)
* in summary, I’m really not as darkly negative as this may come across and if I am who cares anyway..LOL. My opinions are my own and I find them to apply mostly to the large studios who’s effect upon gay pop culture as a whole has been a surprising revelation to me.. we are a pack of pervs after all!
some say porno, I say pornYES! just keep it real
regarding msg.#20 by Flip,
EXCELLENT point you make about the Amateur directors.. the one’s that you made reference to are reasonably attractive men but they need to let the “actors” act and not stray from their director duties! And without exception all of the amateur directors should shut the f*** up and let the guys do what comes natural.. which won’t happen with the endless string of useless tired commands and asking repeatedly if they wish they had a hot piece of pussy.. they don’t and that is why they are on the other side of your cameras and no one really buys the fact that they are duped into these films.
Must *everyone* eat ass? That’s when I press the fast-forward button.
Besides, since when is rimming safe-sex?
The no hair part is okay… I personally hate hair all over the place, it looks dirty when there’s too much.. trimmed is okay, shaved too, but please, we’re not in the 60s no more, we have razors and trimmers to make it look cleaner and better!!
11. Endless, sloppy kissing. It’s not sexy at all. 12. Playing with the nipples. It’s boring. 13. Taking forever to get undressed. Undressing for 15 min. is not hot. 14. Ugly men. That is: ugly, scrawny, misshapen, bad teeth, ass pimples, etc. 15. Cheesy music, esp. that which sounds ‘edgy’. No music is best. I want to hear guys grunt and moan. I want to hear that pop when a penis leaves a rectum. 16. No straight guys that stare into space while they pump monotonously. 17. No bad dialogue or silly plots. If they have to talk, have them rehearse for a while to sound natural.
This is what I hate:
When the guys leave their shoes or sneakers on, when they are too quiet (I like to hear heavy breathing and moaning especially when they cum), when there is not enough touching or kissing between the guys, too much filler (Bel Ami is ridiculous with this at times)
Instead of showing cock sliding into ass (that’s assuming there is a decent sized hard cock involved, which isn’t always the case), and showing the guy stroking in and out and better yet, showing the bottom’s facial expressions, all we see is a close up of cock in ass, not even any sliding in and out. Not hot.
Super fast fucking with tiny strokes or super fast oral with tiny strokes over the top of the penis head. I totally understand that not everyone is hung enough to fuck really deep and slow, but some of the rabitt fucking in porn is ridiculous.
Overmoaning.
I hate when there are police or military officers played by uber-twinks.
When you have an older guy/younger guy scene (e.g., father/son or coach/athelete) and the actors are very close in age — get an older actor who actually LOOKS older.
Obviously fake looking backgrounds and sets.
1) Gay for pay actors who are paired with HOT men but just want to stick cock into orifice and get paid for it. One thing I like about Titan is their men are HOMO… masculine, but HOMO…. and it shows. Those men are all over each other. I like to say, “Desire is when you just wanna lick his arm because it’s there.” More demonstration of that kind of desire.
2) Downside of Titan… too much tattoo ink on 45-year-olds, and WAY too much spitting/pissing/fetish shit. Their late 1990s stuff was WAY hotter.
3) Lazy direction that just shows a cock poking a butt for 5 minutes. Show us the men from all angles… and show (with camera angle creativity) what is like to BE one of the men in the scene! i know that is distracting for the actors but, t
Let me second the “too many close-ups”…who’s clamoring for these proctological exam shots in their porn? Wide, full-body shots and reaction shots of their faces would be so much hotter, cut with the fucking shots. I don’t need someone’s stuffed asshole filling my 32″ TV, thanks. It’s a little scary sometimes.
And I hate gay for pay and will never understand it. There’s plenty of good looking gay men; why do porn producers need to pay straight men to get their cocks sucked and fuck men’s asses? Why not get a gay male who will actually enjoy these things and participate fully? I would never have sex with someone who would refuse to kiss me or touch me unless it was absolutely necessary to their pleasure, so why would I find that hot as fantasy material?
Don’t even get me started on shitty blowjobs where they just lick the head for 5 minutes, or the tongue-jousting that passes for kissing…and you rarely see a decent 69 anymore…
This one is easy. I HATE to hear music, especially the cliche porn music. This is why I prefer the amateur type with real sound and no soundtrack. Especially bad are the ones where the only thing you hear is music. It’s not a music video.
I hate it when the “coverboys” on the DVD or Video don’t appear anywhere in the video. A hot-as-hell-hunk on the cover is false advertising when there’s no one that hot on the disc.
I hate shaved pubes. I think it makes the guy look like a little boy. I don’t believe that there are that many men who are not hairy. I also hate the slapping of ass and belittleing the bottom by calling him names. I have seen one video clip where the two guys look like they are enjoying each other, kissing, hugging, feeling, making love, not animal sex all the time. That video turned me on so many times. These are just my opinions so guys do not get upset with me. This is what I prefer and different strokes for different folks.
The plot lines are phony and there is no romance in any of them except the one clip I mentioned earlier. I do not know the name of the video or who made it, but when you see the two guys making love (not just sex) it is a real turn on.
I hate tatoos and pierceings. I see these absolutely gorgeous, beautiful men with beautiful faces and beautiful bodies and they ruin it all with the junk of tatoos and pierceings. UGH
Tatoos on these hunks are like painting a mustache on the Mona Lisa. It stinks. I think these things should be outlawed.
I totally agree – women shave their pussies – real men don’t eat quiche (calm down, that’s just a joke)and don’t remove the evidence of being men – one of the main ones (pieces of evidence, that is) is body and pubic hair – when i scan for porn, i just skip any signs of shaved hair (including armpit hair) cuz that means to me a faggy/feminine sense of self in the man and i’m looking for a man i would want to slap skin and get sweaty (even if it’s only in my porn fantasy) with – in other words, a man who likes being a man
Below is a quote from [M][a][r][t][y] above, with whom i agree (as he agrees mostly with david k. who i assume is author of the piece)and I want to repeat and add 2 (or 200) more cents to it after his quote:
” . . . Second is the way rimming is portrayed most of the time. There is more to rimming than polite licking! Why do I only see full-tilt whole-hog rimming in kink videos? If they’re going to utilize it in ‘mainstream’ porn, they should do it up right! I mean, they go to the trouble of making fisting detailed, why do they skip over the meaty portions of rimming most of the time?”
“Then I agree 111% with the author’s opinion of shaved pubes – for me, too, they make a man’s body look infantilized [for the record, I hate the shaving of women in straight porn, too] and just as with shaved bodies, feminize him. Men have body hair, shaving all of it off turns them into boys [or, women]. Grooming is one thing, shaving entirely another.”
I think the unfortunate thing about current video rimming is that it’s almost always pro forma and a prelude to the rimmer then fucking the rimmee – what i find real hot is when one dude “tops” the other and has the “bottom” rim him as part of his demand to be serviced and worshipped and rimmed (see older videos like Tony Stefano in “Inch by Inch” or Brian Maddox in (among others) “The Bigger the Better”) where the studly guys dominate and demand that their soon to be fucked “bottoms” give themselves, the “tops,” the rimming pleasure that their beautiful and unshaved (and as they say, (”yeah . . . lick my) SWEATY) asses and assholes deserve.
For David K, whose intelligent writings i really enjoy and identify with (like your (i think it’s you)top ten things you hate about contemporary porn), your own blog seems to beg the question of why you include in nightcharmer so many shaved balls and asses and etc. I guess it’s so widespread that it’s hard to find top hot porn with real unshaven studly guys doin it. Kristen Bjorn’s stuff would be real hot if the guys were natural (i.e., unshaven) and more into the rimming, sucking, etc. His older stuff seems to me to be better than his more recent vids, but still, even his first pornos had the muscle studs mostly shaved . . . maybe i’m just a grouchy fart but the “straight” and/or masculine guys i see and sometimes get lucky with, don’t do the shaving shit that mostly, by my sights, is a part of the chelsea boy-circuit party fashion and a big step away from the real men who make my balls itch.
I guess, it’s part of the (my?)eternal conundrum of wanting to do it with real men who by my (internalized homophobic?) tastes, are not the gym-perfect bodies of ribbon clerks with lisping talk or flawed imitations of authentic masculine guys. Rather, they are the guys who get their bodies from real sports/ manual labor or a combination thereof. (Christopher Maloni of “Oz” and now, “Law and Order: SVU” epitomizes for me that kind of man who is naturally studly and hot and for whom i would give much to spend the night with.) I am at the same time aware that the very term, “authenticly masculine” could be (and has been) examined in many volumes and can’t, by me, be explained and/or understood in a quick blog comment.
Maybe, i just need some more hours on a psychanalyst’s couch but i’d rather spend those hours with a hot married puerto rican amateur boxer who doesn’t know from shaving his balls or ass or paradise trail but does know that he loves getting licked everywhere and sucked in a way that his mommi (i.e., his wife) just doesn’t really get or get into .
i hate it when the 80% of the prduction is bj
Poof! You’re suddenly gayer
Ho scoperto Nightcharm tramite una pubblicità sull’ultimo numero di Butt. Incuriosito, ho iniziato a cliccare sui vari link ma non ho ancora capito del tutto che cosa sia. Il titolo però è Gay Erotica, Blog and Naked Men Pictures: ce…
Peter Puller wrote:
“Please stop saying “suck THAT dickâ€, “fuck THAT ass ”
Yes, what is it with that “that”? Do they have another dick or another arse? It’d be a sweet life being a porn scriptwriter, that’s for sure.
Here’s another: nonexistent plotlines and stories. I mean, we know they’re just an excuse to get into the sex, but make an effort, guys. Titan’s “Garden of Lust” was a few minutes on cheap garden furniture on a back lawn with no flowers and no trees and no sex, and then inside to a spa pool and a divan. So call it “Divan” or “Jacuzzi Fun” or something. “Hot Wheels” had a few minutes unscripted, unintelligible talk about one undistinguished car, otherwise languid sex with no motivation. Sometimes you’d swear they’re just rolling the camera to fill their time quota.
so, what’s good flick to rent or buy, then
definitely bush. nice thick hairy bush. yum. and fuzzy ass crack too. (show more ass!) shaved pubes make you look like a plucked chicken. you’re a priss, and that’s no fun in bed. my other peeve is when an otherwise cute guy has got plucked eyebrows. so silly. 70s porn is the best. masculine and natural. both the twinks and the big men looked beautiful. sometimes i think that gay guys who buy into shaving, cologne, et cetera are just victim to gross consumer capitalism. liberate your libido. don’t let them desexualize gayness for profit!
Well since i live in a conservative society where gay sex is simply a fantasy for me, i tend to live vicariously through gay porns. As of such i find the whole thing of straight men in gay porn flics disappointing. Isn’t the whole point of gay porn, knowing that the guy in the vid is just like you,i.e. totally obsessed with the male physique and wanting to explore it in great intimacy. I want to know that the guy i’m seeing up on screen is truly into other men as much as i am, and that they are truly enjoying sex with each other, being the pigs they are. Afterall people, aren’t there enough hot straight guys out in the wider society that even though u are ridiculously attracted to them you know that nothing could ever be since the’re straight; why would anyone want to experience these same disappointing feelings while getting their regular porn fix. I think it kinda says the wrong message that there isn’t enough hot gay men out there, so we have to recruit straight men for our industry. I do think however that you can have sub porn groups with “straight men going gay” for people who get off on that type of shit (sean cody does a decent job of potryaing intimacy between straight men sometimes, but the key word here is intimacy and not forced, artificially set-up fucking).
My second peeve are over glamourized gay porn vids, i want the sex i see to seem natural, raw and earthy. I hate when i watch gay porn vids and it is obvious that the actors are acting and the video is being rigidly directed and edited. Gay vids should seem like normal, intense, powerful gay sex between genuine and masculine men that are totally into each other.
I hate cheesy porn music, that mask any noises being made, i want to hear it all and i want it to hear the men say stuff that show that they are enjoying banging each other, no muffled repetitive groans please, big turnoff.
Shaved or unshaved is trivial to me, but i like the site of pubic hair, with the rest of the body shaved so i can see the glorious male definition.
Finally i hate vids where its like 12min of oral, 8 min of rimming, 5 min of anal done in 2 typical positions and a cumshot shot shot from one angle.The sex should seem less structued. Also why is it very little of the actors in the big studio productions swallow the cum, i know about safety and all that stuff, but if your going to blow a cock for 12 minutes and swallow all that precum, you might as well swallow its richer cousin (i.e. the cum), or at least take it in the face. A also dislike egocentric tops that make the sex about boasting their hot bods and skills at dominating the bottom, whom they sometimes rarely kiss, Lucas and adonis does this sometimes.
i agree i also hate trimmed or shaved pubes. let your garden grow!
Wow, where to start? Cheesy sets, lighting, and dialogue are huge annoyances. Bad acting is a big turnoff–if I’m laughing at the guy on screen, then he’s not turning me on. No one expects Olivier, but c’mon–the parts of porn that ask for some acting are VERY modest, and it shouldn’t be too difficult to offer up something at least somewhat believable. But all too often we get lame, wooden, insipid dialogue, delivery, and expressions that would make the leads in a 4th grade school musical strong Oscar contenders. I guess if all you want to see is uninterrupted fucking, no problem. But I like to have some plot, some story, to fill in the gaps and present a full picture.
Hmm, what else? Bad sucking is a huge bete noir because I’m such an oral queen. What is this light licking around the head or up the shaft with little else? Also I hate it when you can tell the sucker has his mouth open wide so that his lips barely touch the cock, like he’s too scared to really get in there and slurp and suck on the thing. “I have to put it in my mouth but I’m gonna try to do it without actually TOUCHING it.” UGH. Just stop already. Robotic, monotonous “sucking” that consists of the bottom’s head moving back and forth at precisely-timed intervals with no variation or change, and no enthusiasm. If I wanted to see sucking that lame I’d watch straight porn. Bottoms who scrunch their faces up in horror when it’s time to take a facial cumshot, like the cum is toxic waste or something. The disappearance of good 69ing. Too little ballplay. C’mon boys, play with those balls, suck on them! That’s an erogenous zone too!
Bad rimming–OMG, there’s so much bad rimming in gay porn! I’m sorry, but a few light flicks of the tongue in someone’s crack doesn’t qualify as rimming to me. Get in there and work it! Those guys are enema’d and douched and scrubbed so much that there’s no chance of having an “unpleasant” rimming encounter on-screen, so get over it! We’re not watching porn to see your delicate, girlie sensibilities on display!
Overlong closeups of fucking that make you feel like you’re in an Anatomy & Physiology class. Dull. One other anal turnoff that I have, and this goes for fucking or any other anal play, is when the bottom has obvious hemorrhoids–like big, swollen, distended ractal lining that bulges out of the anus. GROSS! Who wants to see that?! In real life, sometimes it’s unavoidable, but this is PORN–fantasy material. I want to see a guy’s asshole, not inspect the lining of his colon for polyps. If he’s so stretched out and loose to the point of turning inside out, please keep him as a top and don’t make me wretch by showing a tortured closeup of his proctological disorder.
8 times out of 10 the fucking is so rote and mechanical and boring that I fast forward through it to the money shots, which are themselves often quite disappointing. Can’t these stars sign contracts to require them to save up for a few days before the shoot? I’m so tired of seeing a guy twitching and moaning in orgasmic “ecstasy” (probably faked) only to see the tiniest trickle of unidentifiable fluid leaking out of his dick. YAWN.
Too much aggression and degradation, not enough sensuality, tenderness, caring. What’s with all the spitting?! Fuck, I HATE that shit! It makes me feel totally sleazy when I see that in a scene. Also too much slapping and overall roughness in the sex. I’m not saying there shouldn’t be ANY rough sex–I like it as much as the next person, in small doses. But does it have to come to dominate porn so much? It makes gays look like animals who really don’t like each other very much, and want to hurt and degrade each other. In the occasional roleplaying scene, go for it. But it’s spreading like a cancer through everyday garden-variety porn too. Ish.
The fetish scenes are exploding out of control and getting sicker and more unsettling all the time. What’s with all the fisting?! Am I the only person out there who finds it gross and disturbing, and not the least bit arousing? And WAY too much leather. OK, a little leather to spice up a scene or set the stage for a dungeon is one thing, but I’ve seen some scenes where the leather was so out of contol and all-pervasive that IT was the real star of the shoot, like the actors were just props for the leather regalia and not the other way around! Cut it out, tone it down! Less is more people! IMHO, a good primitive bondage scene with some rope and a simple gag, and some good “boy-in-peril” acting on the part of the trussed-up bottom is WAY hotter than your typical overdone, overthought, leather pig dungeon scene. And I’ve TRIED them, I really have. But invariably my cock starts to wilt before they even get to the sling-fucking. They’re totally tiresome.
And PLEASE, enough with the piss already. Really. Water sports are fine and dandy as a niche kink product offered to certain consumers, but as with all the other raunch and aggression, they’re starting to spread out into more “mainstream” stuff too.
Oh, almost forgot–in re the shaving issue that everyone seems to be obsessing about in previous comments: Can’t we just split the difference? I agree that a totally shaved, hairless guy (especially when combined with a permatan and a lot of oil) is a big turnoff (although even worse is when they give the guy the fake buttfloss or thong tanline–what is he, some chiquita with big jugs from Copacabana?!) But a totally hairy guy is a big turnoff too (with apologies to all the bears out there–I validate your choices, but it’s not my cup of tea). When you watch porn, you fantasize about being in the scene with the actor, and my fantasies don’t involve getting a mouthful of skanky, smelly pubic hair. Some guys have a real forest down there, and I don’t care how much they wash, it’s still a moment-killer. Even worse is a big hairy ass, which tends to smell even worse. Who wants to get down and rim an asshole that’s surrounded by a mass of dark, matted hair? Umm, no thank you. So how do I come down on the shaved/unshaved continuum? Shave the asscrack and ballsack, but leave everything else as is (trimmed back if necessary, but not too far).
i agree with the sentiments expressed by the top ten list. joe gage got it right to start with and it has never been done better.
Eventually a site consequently discussing what apparently at no other URL is a serious topic – thanx & congrats!
Yes, I agree with most of your animadversion on the shaving cult, only, I wouldn’t argue it that gender-role-fixed and dogmatic. The antiseptic impression can also neuter women. The foreshadow of an intimate little wood enclosing a pleasure palace can be as well lovely or enthralling as terribly disgusting – depends on possibly (partly) veiling drapery, on body shape (imagine how nicely soft the – purposefully excoriation-preventing – pubic hair can hide traces of intimate adipose) and on other criteria plus, like in fine arts the most decisive one, the eye of the beholder. In this sense, also a non-shaving dogma would be as absurd as the currently dominating shaving dogma.
Personally, I must add: exciting me deserves a minimum of realism. And shaving instantly reminds me of twitching e-razors and picking dull or injuring sharp blades, and of the soon following sandpaper effect. Perhaps it’s different from BEING shaved (& more) by a sensitive, cute fella.
I also appreiciate what you write regarding romance. Also anonymous (less than one night) evening standing quickies in whatever dark (-room, park, …) deserve a little bit of it. But what about all those models (and I fear it’s the majority) who, no matter how many gorgeous guys around (lean twinks to breeding ox… bulls or bears, choose your taste), obviously can come and even keep some erotic tension exclusively by their own hands? Hell, what are they doing there? A solo is one thing: okay, if showing who strikes the beholder as a solitaire. But two or more excruciatingly long proving how definitely they never think of caring the least for each other – even if I’d start using viagra and swallow an overdose, those would leave me annoyed, with a deeply saddened, unrecoverably faded worm. Hey, ignorants: if you hate it like that, stay home and don’t bother viewers! Could I be satisfied with such self-satisfied jerks (among them hetes playing gay, fizzled by their fear of contact), all I’d need is a mirror.
Who’ll be the first director/producer telling his models “If it ain’t a solo performance, hands off yourselves”? I hardly can describe how much effort it takes to find real mutual stuff – strictly mutual to an ecstatic climax and even after, eliciting each possible convulsion or tweet, then caringly laying exhausted little cock-birdie to sleep. For calmly fading away afterwards with your (momentary or lifetime) guy’s intimately protecting hand on: this beats out every rebirthing therapy, hmmm.
But most material is different. Also at the performances’ other ends, though I must admit, in this respect things have improved remarkably during the last two decades. Most videos and pic series show some foreplay, even often including some mutual peeling. This has nothing to do with the rightly criticized unrealistic longbreathed hellos. It’s increasing the tension, and thereby what most of the action except its fulfilling end is about. Just like Ravel’s Bolero. Years ago, even stories with a fully dressed start often skipped this, whap, switching from hello to bang-bang (and to “done, bye”). Now, some productions, like in real life, discover trouser pockets (of business suits), button-flies to be opened step by step, chances for curious birdies to peep a bit over waistbands (oopsie, strictly unintentional), and shorts of all sorts (tighhht to wiiide beggar, less than boxers to showing just lower calves) offering two really interesting entrances to explore – even for starts in the middle of public space (phew! – darlinghhh, they’re staringhhh alhhhreadyhhhh …).
So I think there is hope.
i dont have a prob with shaved body parts,straight guys having sex with other men,(straight guys rock in bed)or close ups of cocks.or even if someone gets in front of the camera who should be in the back.
porn should be hot as hell ,nasty as fuck ,and make you feel a little on easy.GREAT PORN ANYWAY.
Stop buying falcon vids they suck.stop spitting in my mouth,and blow a load in it.These models all do sex for cash on the side and take loads in there mouths everyday put it on film!!!!!!!
If you want the real deal buy only Treasure island films.Its real ,dangerous and nasty as fuck.Start out with Dawsons 50 load weekend.you will be hooked .Just what porn should be nasty,hot and real dangerous
Thank you for saying what SOME OF US have been all along!!!! You hit ALL the key points. Gimme a hairy, foul-mouthed fucker anyday of the week!!!! You guys ROCK.And so you know…for my money it’s Treasure Island, KINK VIDEO…..(Tony T is one hot fucker), The Dirty Boys…..then gimme some of that old Christopher Rage……..yeah baby!
TJ
#6 is big for me. I will often fastforward thru a video/DVD just to find a hot tongue kissing scene. Watching people kissing actually turns me on more than fucking/sucking. Wish someone would do a porn movie that had lots and lots of close-up kissing, the more, the better.
Hi guys!!
I absolutely HATE the continuous “yeahhhh, suck that dick” or “fuck that as” : once or twice is OK : I would love to hear something other than this all the time.
It is also very annoying to see, when the trousers “disappear”, the stud massaging and kneading his meat through the underwear. I think it is so sexy to see a man’s dick grow as a result of what YOU are doing to him. Licking or sucking or just playing with it. I LOVE seeing a dick grow before my eyes!!
Another turn-on, (I’ve seen a few in some European movies), is to see the guys putting on condoms (if the REALLY have to!!!!), the one helping the other, and even sniffing poppers, and what I find REALLY sexy, is putting on the lube : insereting it into the ass, and rubbing it on the dick etc. I wish some movies would show the prepping where they do the enemas etc., not to see any scat (I am NOT into that), but to see how he does the final clean out.
Thanks guys, for an interesting topic!!
Inquiring minds want to know about straight vids, huh? They are probably MORE lackluster! More fake parts…blown up boobs, lips. MORE tattoos and piercings…YAWN! EVERYTHING shaved…men, women. I agree it does infantise…I don’t care for it. Trimmed or natural is my preference. (bi girl here) I without a doubt will say that even the most boring gay vid will beat a straight vid. The guys in straight porn are damn ugly with beer guts. The men in gays vids are gorgeous, even their dicks are pretty. It has always turned me on to see it, and it always will. Perfection is pushing it…just be yourself, comfortable in your own skin, enjoy what you are doing, it WILL be hot! Hope I provided some clarity…lol.
Although I havent read all the posts (I will)I would like to my two cents about the debate over the shaved pubes. Where I am living, (between the middle east and Europe) it is very normal for a man to shave his pubes and underarms regularly. It is considered hygenic. May keep the crabs at bay as well. The men, however, dont shave their chests without a good reason. So you can find yourself somewhere between belt-line and goodies ( a place I find myself quiet often, I might add) in the middle of a clearing in the forest. It is a strange effect. Makes you think they have recently had some kind of operation.
One thing viewers of gay porn–and any porn for that matter– must understand is that porn isnt exactly about real sex. Things that happen in porn, I am speaking sexually, not about fantasy– policeman construction workers etc that dont REALLY happen in real life. For example, you dont see a lot of men cumming in the mouths, you usually see something like a facial shot because seeing the ejaculation in a porn film is more important than pleasure .
By the nature of the male body, all the real pleasure is hidden inside some other person. A man is fucking another guy and suddenly he pulls out, rips off his condom and ejaculates. This is a porn thing. As far I am concerned, cumming inside is more pleasurable. Also, I dont need the last minute distraction and frustration of trying desperately to remove the condom at the peak of the orgasm. If nothing else, it makes clean-up easier.
Worse of all, people who watch a lot of porn tend to start imitating these porn things and lose a lot of fun trying to be “stars”.
Modern gay porn has become a cookie cutter business. The majority of gay porn actors look like clones of each other (do they use the same trainer and plastic surgeon?) They are nothing more than emotionless Ken dolls that fuck. It appears everyone uses the same timed grunts, the infamous “yeah yeah” “suck that dick” “fuck that ass” over and over again by all studios. Then producers think that by making a “Hollywood type” big production movie will the sex be better and more hot – wrong! The positive thing about this type of movie is that the film and lighting is better, the major negative is everything is so perfect as to make the movie boring including the same staged grunts again!
Another pet peeve is producers spending TOO MUCH TIME focusing on some anonymous dick pounding an anonymous ass for over 15 minutes in every postion – boring! Also spending a half hour on the same sex scene with the same actors – boring!
And as mentioned before…price! $60.00 and up for a porn video!!! Studios wake up!
Rocco Siffredi is my favorite porn performer and he is straight. He has a beautiful uncut cock and nice balls–and he is hairy. Trimmed or shaved pits, pubes and ass cracks make men look prepubescent, overgrown boys to appeal to pedophiles. They are real turnoffs. I also dislike inking and hardware. Not many years ago tattoos were associated with criminals and cheap carnies and piercings with primitive tribes. And yes, most porn needs some foreplay, some kissing and body licking, not the get-down-to-it without preliminary preparation. As soon as the porn performs drop trousers they are hard. I like to see a soft cock being make excited by another man’s lips and man, to watch it grow, especially uncut cocks that slowly are skinned back.
I don’t mind men trimming up their runways. I prefer porn with context (build-up, anticipation, dialogue) to the uncreative throw-two-naked-guys-together-apropos-of-nothing approach. I want to see more over-40 models and I’m completely turned off by twentysomething mannequins who just stand there with their eyes closed. My favorite body type is the built, curvaceous look as opposed to the one where steroids burn off every ounce of body fat.
I AM SO TIRED OF BUFFED SHAVED MEN THAT LOOK LIKE WOMEN WITH A STRAP-ON, THAT I ONLY CHECK OUT PORN FROM 70′S TO 90′S(?) WHEN MEN HAD A LITTLE HAIR BETWEEN THEIR LEGS INSTEAD OF RASHES, STUBBLE, AND SHAVING NICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please: No socks on…No sneakers on…It looks ridiculous when two hunks are having sex and they keep their socks/sneakers on…
Show me the 100% takes of the bodies involved all the time and I will come and Come!
Most porn champions the idea of sex addiction: get it anywhere and as often as you can. That can be exciting but porn offers such a steady diet of it that it has become banal, boring and dehumanizing. It’s IKEA-porn, the product of corporatism, of making the all glorious buck in the fastest, easiest way possible, with prefab veneer and consumer contempt. It lacks imagination and context and as a result bad lighting, cheap sets, wretched dialogue and cookie-cutter studs with no personality whatsoever are offered up with no excuse or apology. Hey Mr. Director, you wanna make me cum? Engage my fucking mind, will ya! That’s one of the reasons films like Shortbus, Taxi Zum Klo, and many of the films by Catherine Breillat are exciting: they have stories, contexts, emotions and reality. Sure, they are not porn but they utilize actual sex for an artistic purpose. Of those in porn that have attempted to push the envelope this way I think of Al Parker, Dred Scott and Francois Sagat, edgy and witty men who also have a fascinating thing going on in their heads. They think. Imagine that…the brain as a sex organ!!!
That settles it. We’re just going to have to open our own studio.
Heh. And I love that my previous comment was number 69. I am amused. ^_~
It really turns me off when I’m watching two obviously poz porn stars using condoms. Especially when it is likely they don’t use them any other time. It sends out the message that despite the fact that these guys self sero-segregate and bareback 100% of the time off camera, when they are being filmed they have to have sex the “approved-by-Chi-Chi-LaRue” way. Why not give the actors the option of using condoms or going raw? The producers who believe that they are eroticizing condom use are just fooling themselves. I just don’t buy videos where the message is “You’re gonna use condoms and like it!”.
HEY! I expected you guys to do a article on you know… him, as if I even have to say his name.
I agree with everything—in a way. About shaving hair, it’s very subjective. But I like a fuzzy chest—not bushy—and pubes with their vibrantly apparent existence when visible is defenitely, to me, the best thing of a man next to his cock.
What I don’t like about porn is, there is no romance. Why are some straight sex scene’s from hollywood hotter than gay porn!? After all, aren’t the gay porn stars brave enough to at least look like they enjoy it? And I don’t mean look intoxicated or as if they’re about to have a seizure; but really connected in a love/lust-bond for just a moment. Why can’t they get near each other!? Physical contact (before the physical insertion[both ways]) is a must in anything artistic or entertainment-oriented. We could have some gentle foreplay just with kisses or gropings from behind before the sucking, can’t we? Maybe directors should let the stars select who to have sex with; so that there is genuine lust involved. It’s entirely too fake. I really like sizzling foreplay, meaningful kisses, and romance. It seems once gay porn stars start fucking they totally start a choreographical practice. Improvization might be nice.
I think I wrote a bit too much. Sorry!
ONCE AGAIN…..NIGHTCHARM ‘GETS IT’ RIGHT! PERIOD. THANKS GUYS.
Stop showing me barely erect cocks. If the guy on the screen isn’t turned on, why would I be? and PLEASE PLEASE Stop saying “FUCK YEAH” every breath.
Almost all of these negative porn clichés are from Chi Chi LaRue films. Get ready for more tired clichés because thanks to you guys this drag queen now owns over 50% over the gay video making biz.
Bald pubic areas look awful. They infantalize and neuter a guy.
A-fucking-men!!! Why do I always feel like the only one who believes this? The male body is beautiful with whatever hair God gives it! Show us how it grows on you, baby!
Yes, more dirty talk. But it must be deep-voiced, and it must be from The Jon Vincent Book of Quotations.
There is nothing more flaccidville than hearing a muscleboy say “oh yah man, thuck my ballths”
You buy a twink vid, you get 6 identical twinks. You buy a bear+cub vid, you get 3 identical bears and 3 identical cubs. What about those of us who like more than one kind of man?
There’s also an odd racial stereotyping in gay porn. Who can the black guy fuck? Either the white guy or another black guy of the same shade. Why not Latin, or Indian? It’s just something you never see.
But my personal peeve is…I love to spend long minutes exploring every crevice of crotch, and I want to see lingering closeup shots of cock and balls being slowly explored by a loving tongue. Endless 2-shots intercut with moaning faces just doesn’t do it for me.
Sex scenes presented as fantasy sequences. The student in detention is gazing at his hot daddy teacher, the shot goes all woozy and blurry, and suddenly we’re watching the boy having sex with his teacher – except it’s not ACTUAL sex, it’s his FANTASY of what could happen. What does this add to the scene? How does this make the situation any more interesting? I’m already watching PORN for chrissakes. Don’t make me suspend my disbelief TWICE.
I totally agree with these points except the last one- there is just something about a dude with a sparkly bellybutton-ring that makes me swoon…
I agree with your assessments and more. If I’m spending money to rent, buy or download it, I deserve to see what I’m, I’M, interested in.
I don’t date bois, wouldn’t talk one up at a club or any other social event so why would I pay to fantasize to (several) when i’m jerking off???\
No to medicated dick. Viagra doesn’t belong in porn. Just cialis when i’m partying with friends for an entire weekend.
No to shaving. NO FUR/NO FUN!
I agree with most of the comments here, especially about the shaved pubes! There’s nothing that turns me off more than a torso that reminds me of a 6-year-old’s.
But I completely disagree with the “more big cocks” entry; I think anyone who is a fan of the huge has more than enough material to look at. The last thing we need is a one-size-fits-all porn scene that makes anyone with a dick in the normal size range feel bad about himself. I don’t like huge cocks. They’re boring.
Actually, what disturbs me the most about gay porn is the number of rape scenes filmed. Yes, I know that porn is a fantasy, but sometimes it seems that gay porn portrays rape as something normal and acceptable in gay culture. As if violence towards each other is just a normal part of gay sex. I don’t mean the gangbanging type of scenes where a guy “volunteers” to be fucked by a whole bunch of men. At least we’re told (sometimes) that’s the bottom’s fantasy and they requested that scene. I’m talking about scenes where there is violence (even badly acted) being perpetrated toward the subject: a chase, a capture, forcing the man to service the attackers and then being left behind.
I’m not a rape victim, and I definitely hope I never will be. I hope that porn companies get over it soon because rape is not sexy and it’s not healthy. They should at least give the viewer warning about the simulated violence.
Please don’t peg me as a prude. I love hot, passionate, raunchy mansex between two (or more) men who are obviously enjoying it. I love the vigor with which men have sex with each other. Being able to experience that is why I feel lucky about being a gay man. As some of you have already noted, those passionate scenes are what we need more of: How beautiful and powerful gay sex can be. I’ve experienced it, so I know. But I question the value of a scene where a man is entrapped, bound, hurt, raped and abandoned as if he somehow deserved it. If the producers are working on reconciling their own rape experiences on film, they should try therapy first.
I started a thread once about this topic on a discussion board…
I HATE the music, I don’t mean the quality of the music as much as I do the fact that they use it to cover up the other sounds. I want to hear the sounds, even if it is just the breathing hard or something.
Already mentioned was the magic condom. Do they think we can’t tell its there? I think I hate this some much that it has become a kind of fetish to see the condom being put on.
I hate it when they show the same part of a scene again, its like the editor decided it needed to be longer so he just plays that last part again.
And my all time worst hated thing, is when they do EXTREAM close up (usually of a cock going in an ass) and they just keep the camera there.
I quite like the shaved pubes thing on screen and in my own sex life. But I am hugely partial to ginger pubes. The socks and shoes on fuck scenes are my pet peeve: I want to watch the guys’ feet when the sex is boring. Also foreskin play isn’t elaborate enough, dick cheese should be a source for humour.
Humour is something which is sadly lacking in all sex films! There’s really nothing more fun for me than chuckling and grinning when watching and wanking to porn.
Great topic for debate. After all, they expect us to pay for all that shit.
Falcon is too perfect, I just could not put my finger on what bothered me when I watch their videos until one of the comments I read, which I agree with completly. I hate shaved pubic areas. A man is wonderful with a real nice bush, it’s a real turn-on for me. There is too much or not enough close ups of faces, asses and dick humping. I want to see everything. I really can’t stand all the limp soft little dicks out there these days. And I really do not need to see an actor trying and trying to get an erection as he pulls out of another guys ass. I really miss all the dirty talk and noises made in older movies. Those were great. Their is not enough grit anymore, and I miss that. Sometimes I feel I am watching a Mr. clean commercial. I Love the blowjob scenes, especially when the giver has a nice face and pretty lips around the cock he is sucking, but why so much time now givin to this, up to over 15 minutes now in most movies. Lets see some FUCKING PLEASE!And lastly, stop the forever shots of guys trying to ejaculate. Their partner always has that face, when already!
Tastes are different, as far as I’m concerned, I really like shaved pubes and shaved assholes and keep smooth down there myself. It’s so convenient for licking and sucking. I do floss my teeth regularly and do not need pubic hair between them. A little trimmed bush is ok, though. For amateurs of pubic hair there are movies by Titan and Citebeur, for instance.
In general, less uniformity would be nice, less of the standard lockerroom and shower stuff, and less of those horrible hotel rooms with tasteless beadspreads and lamps which are a big turn off.
I like porn movies with a plot, and a bit of humour doesn’t hurt, either.
It’s good when a skin flick conveys some atmosphere of the city or place where it has been shot, as do the Michael Lucas movies about New York, the Cazzo movies about Berlin, the Sarava films about Tuscany, the Jan Dvorak Story about Prague or the new xxx project films about Cologne. There are many spots and countries which still have not appeared in porn movies – I would like to see more about Australia and New Zealand; Asia seems to be completely absent from the map of porn.
It would be nice to open a thread about great porn movies on this page, the Hall of Fame of Skin Flicks, so to speak.
Some recent productions I love:
Buckleroos (the two cowboys are adorable), Dot.cum by Cazzo (a funny film about online dating in Berlin), La dolce vita by Michael Lucas (great production values and sets, gorgeous men; although Mr. Lucas is a bit full of himself, as usually, and I don’t like him very much as an actor, I have to admit that he really knows how to make exciting skin flicks; I love his Fire Island series, too).
Mario has some very valid points. First and foremost, the observation that gay sex is is so passionate and that gay men display such a vigor when fucking. it’s true. one of the thrills about gay sex when you’re having it is that you know not everyone gets to experience such an ‘electric’ form of sex. as far as the rape scenes go (gagging and torturing) i wonder if it’s still yet again the bottom’s fantasy or being ultimately submissive and dominated by the tops, or if it is in fact a fantasy of total rape. one suggestion that some people have regarding justification of taboo sex acts in porn is that such pornography gives the viewer a healthy outlet for his sexual proclivities that would otherwise be very destructive. what they assert is that men who do have rape fantasies in real life are being served as vieweres, whereas otherwise their insatiable appetites for such sex may be unfortunately fulfilled in a real, dangerous event. i haven’t yet formed my opinion on this though, so i take no stand here.
I think it’s HOT to have all-shaved genitals. I sgree with everything on this list but that
I think it’s HOT to have no pubic….makes licking so much more fulfilling.
I’ll admit I like a nice clean runway. Not completely stripped, but a modicum of grooming is a turn-on.
Turn-Offs include:
1) No context. Give me a dirty or nasty set-up. I don’t need an epic plot per se, but an actual situation or theme. Two guys just randomly going at with no framing circumstance is dull.
2) Too many twentysomethings. Showcase some handsome, builty guys in their 30s, 40s and 50s.
3) The “Twin” Effect. I like some contrast with appearance. Two models of the same age who have the same hair color, eye color, skin tone and build is not very creative casting.
4) Looped footage. Get some decent coverage for the scene so you don’t have to re-use the same shot endlessly.
5) Overdubbed nasty talk. I get that most models aren’t thesps, but if you can’t come up with some decent sleaze talk, you need to sit the bench. If you can walk and chew gum you can talk and screw. Dialogue that doesn’t match lip movement makes me feel like I’m watching a Hercules movie.
6) Roid Ravaging. Everybody’s on steroids and that’s OK, but when your skin is as thin as parchment, every vein protrudes, and your face looks like a cadaver’s, ease up a bit. A little body fat is appealing.
Modern gay porn = modern straight porn = boring as crap
Why are the amateur sites doing so well online (I’m talking about ones that are primarily straight…or with girl/girl action for the straight guys who tend to go to the sites)? At least there is some VARIETY there, from shaved vs. natural; noisy vs. virtually silent; full body shots vs. EXTREME CLOSE-UP!, you get the idea.
Straight commercial porn is no better: all cookie-cutter, same old same old. Honestly, none of this is better than your basic Harlequin romance…change the names, change the setting, and you’re done.
Are there good gay amateur sites? I’m just wondering.
I agree with the magic insertion yuk ! a turn off also not enough full body shots when cumming . The quick cut to guys jerking to climax is ridiculous no contiuity at all .
I do like shaved pubes but then I also like natural it depends upon the guy .
I like seeing a soft cock being worked up hard and staying that way and please not soft cock bottoms or boring gay for pay who you can see have no interest in his partner .
And yeah if you are paying big bucks for a movie then big bucks on production but as has been mentioned some amateur stuff is reall raw and hot .
My 2 cents worth , a great forum by the way , thanks .
Apparently someone watches gay porn that I am not finding. I stopped watching most gay porn because no one was shaved down completely. Where are these titles? I’ll be happy to take them off your hands. Nothing turns me on more than a totally shaved down guy in person or in porn. That said, to be honest, very few gay porn models shave it all off. Most of you who are hair lovers are bitching about trimming, not shaving. From my vantage point there seems to be a rule (Falcon?) to make the guys look like they are naturally smooth. So they are trimmed but not shaved. There is a huge difference. I appreciate everyone’s individual taste, but please if anyone is out there reading this, we need MORE totally shaved gay porn. The only guys I find these days are in solo videos (thank you musclehunks if you are reading this). Rarely do I ever find action films with totally shaved guys.
Nothing turns me off more than shaved dicks and assess. It’s gross. I find myself seeking only older porn that was made before this (hopefully short) trend started.
Unfortunately I’m so far down, no one will ever see this. If you want good fuck videos, go to Treasure Island Media.
To summarize: Men (not boys) Fucking (not limp and trying to jack it) Bareback (no trying to pull the rubber off and missing the “money shot”)
I am a straight man who occasionally likes gay porn. If you think this means I am not, therefore, straight, then that is your opinion but everyone deserves the right to define themselves. For me, the criterion is that I could never have an emotional attachment to a man like I have had with women. This trumps everything else, in my opinion.
So I thought I would add my perspective to this blog. I must defend straight men doing gay porn. BUT it must be a sincere drive or curiosity that motives them. I am especially interested in “first time” movies, in which masculine amateurs have their first gay experience. I like seeing them nervous at first, and then end up with a facial or mouthful of cum and be absolutely delighted.
I guess it started with repeated viewings of straight porn, specifically that which specializes in cum – facial, swallowing, bukkake, etc. I began to empathize with the women in these videos who seemed so thrilled to have men cum on/in them. I began to wonder what that was like and it excited me. I would then sometimes eat my semen, or peek at gay porn sites. I have a fantasy to suck a dick to orgasm, but am unsure if it is a good idea to pursue or how to go about it. I reserve my interest in kissing and such things to women, and I think sodomy is gross. I suppose you could say that my heterosexual interests are heavily frustrated, and this is an outlet for that.
I would like recommendations for videos/sites to check out in the “first time” and “oral/cum” categories. BTW, straight cumshot videos are in general superior to what I have seen available for gays, but what I have seen has made me thirsty for more. Also, any advice about having a gay sex experience. I have even thought at times that I would like to do a “first time” video for a respectable organization, but that’s kinda crazy, or is it?
get the stop watch out…when ur watching ANY PORN…str8 or gay…
the camera…is fucked up…the time spent on the cock being sucked, or fucking, or being abused…is rarely shown compared to the time we see the camera on the fuckee..
and the fuckin camera man…why the hell he can’t have his camera be the eyes of the owner of the dood with the big cock…the cam should be over and behind his shoulders…its so frustrating..as if its done on purpose so that we crave more sex act pics…for they don’t get shown..the cam jumps all over the fuckin place and hard to attach a guys cock to his person..
please…show us the men and their cocks…its why we watch to begin with..
thanks for someone actually saying this and i agree with all your points but did you forget:? the model putting his hand in front of where the cock is going in the hole. this happens countlessly. and it is not even edited out? is there not direction? are the models not sure where the camera is? it is astoundingly stupid.
bad lighting. that cheap effect of smoke wafting. it gets in the way of the vision! you dolts! and i must respond to the first commnt about having the clothes magically disappear. ok but what is worse is jeans that wont dissappear. worst offender. john Rutherford in Man Country. embarrassingly idiotic, unless you have a jeans fetish which i am sure he has, but millions of others dont and then it should have been advertized on the cover. for jeans fetishists. the models cant get OUT OF THEIR JEANS!!!!!!!!!!! they struggle and pull and in one segment the jeans actually popped BACK UP again. idiotic! one i saw this guy had to unlace yet! his boots pull off his long wool socks and then pull off his jeans and he THEN :had underwear on. what a joke!
phew thanx for letting me rant i have been wanting to say that for a long time.and then they all get together at some stupid banquet and give themselves awards.
although best bodies: titan and colt.
Is it just me or is there no interest in hand-jobs?
I search and search for a good video of two men just making out — kissing passionately as one man explores the other with his hand and eventually pulls out his cock and jerks him off.
I can’t find any handjob videos anywhere!
Great list though — but I do disagree with the size point. I am no size-queen… I can deal happily with a 6-incher.
I hear you, handjobs don’t make headlines.
I’d love to watch small-sized queens for a change, any idea where I can find this?
i want 2 suck that cock
i just wanna suck a nice fat cock, and let him cum in my mouth
I want 2 big cocks up my ass at the same tyme..
DONT KNOW IF ANYONE ELES TOUCHED UPON THIS SAME PORN VIEW, CAUSE THERE WERE JUST TOO MANY TO READ THEM ALL. BUT HERE GOES.
I GET TURNED OFF WHEN TWO GUYS ARE FUCKING EACH OTHER AND IT LASTS TOO LONG. IM MEAN IT LOOSES IT’S SPONTANITY AND NATURALNESS WHEN THE FUCK GOES ON AND ON. WHERES THE EXCITMENT OF CUMMING WITHOUT CONTROL, AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT? AND, LETTING US THE VIEWER SEE THAT HOT CLIMATICAL MOMENT. SO WHAT IF IT HAPPENS AFTER FIVE OR TEN MINUTES I THINK ITS MUCH MORE OF A TURN ON AND, BLOODY HOT! THEN TO WATCH TWO BLOKES FUCKING EACH OTHER FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE FOREVER. ALSO WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO INSPIRATIONAL AT THE MOMENT SEX WITHOUT THE SCENES AND LOCATIONS BEING SO PLANNED OUT NOT LEAVING ANY ROOM FOR A NATURAL FEEL AND EXCITMENT. IT ALL SEEMS LIKE ALL THE ACTORS ARE ROBOTS WAITING FOR QUES AND LINES TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO. THATS WHY I SAY THE PORN OF THE 1970′S ESPECIALLY STRAIGHT PORN WAS THE BEST. WOULD BE NICE TO SEE PORN LIKE THAT AGAIN. QUICK NON PLANNED OUT BLOW JOBS WITH LOTS OF OZZING CUM BEING SHOT NATURALLY WITHOUT WARRNING. SAME WITH THE MAN ON MAN SEX JUST LET THEM GO AT IT AND DO WHATS
NATURAL THANKS OUT
I think it’s time to re-think free speech, because what we now have is a generation or two, of the most useless people ever to inhabit this planet
You don’t let that bush on your head go so you look like a caveman, so shave your balls and trim that GD bush! I’ll do my own flossing, thank you very much.
oh, men, when i see these naked men…i feel horny. i really want 2 have SEX..oh yeah.
i once have sex wit ma boyfriend but i didn’t get PREGENT.luky me.
I agree with most of what has been posted here about gay porn these days—lame, lame, lame! Most of it is boring because the studios keep on putting out the same tired old crap—mostly pretty (but some not so pretty) boys fucking in scenes that are so ’stagey’ that you have to laugh. Almost all of them nowadays claim to be straight and gay-for-pay only. And you have to laugh about that, too; because if you’re a dude who likes to suck dick and fuck other dudes—even if its only for the money, then you’re not straight at all. But the straight-boy fantasy shit sells, and that’s why sites like Sean Cody do so well.
We can expect to keep seeing the same shit over and over again, maybe with a new face here and there, but nevertheless the same shit. And it won’t change until some newcomer producer who has some fresh ideas and the money and technical know-how to make good porn comes along and ups the ante. Still, no matter what, porn movies have always had a hefty helping of cheese—both gay and straight—because for some unknown reason, the producers seem to think its necessary to try to get the models to ‘act’, and the more they act the more stagey and contrived the whole thing looks. A really good gay porn producer should only be concerned about putting two hot men who have good chemistry together and just let them suck, fuck, and cum and then move on to the next scene with completely different other models. Porn fans don’t care about makeup and lines, all you need is good sound, lighting, and camerawork to capture the action from different angles. That’s all porn is supposed to be. Leave the makeup and the acting to the people in Hollywood.
Omg I HATEHATEHATE when men leave their socks on during sex.
I don’t have a foot fetish or anything but the socks just look so out of place!
It’s one of my pet peeves and it just irritates the crap out of me!
Woah I totally agree with Jonny ^^^
How long would it take for them to take their socks off?!
Jeez.
wow, I totally agree with this and a lot of what other people are saying too! if I throw in my own two cents though, how about some fucking variety? there are so many times I’ll buy a movie only to find out it’s nothing but a bunch of scrawny little twinks, or if not that, a bunch of over-pumped muscle queens who all look the same. what happened to the old school library nerd getting rammed by the football jock? geez. everyone all looks the same.
Nothing at all is worse than a COMPLETELY shaved man. It’s just gross. I want a man, if I wanted a doll I’d fuck Ken or buy one of those expensive realistic sex dolls. I exclude the baby remark, because that’s fucking gross but it really reminds me of children when there is NO hair down there.
I don’t mind shaving your ass, your body, whatever… so long as you leave your pubes alone. Keep them TRIMMED, nothing else. It’s not sexy to size up a guy who looks 11 downstairs.
Well, opinions are like assholes – everybody has one. So I’ll continue to shave from head to toe. I like the way it feels. Smooth skin is better for licking. Hair stinks. So fuck you, asshole.
It seems to me that most gay porn comes in two varieties: with goodlooking guys but boring, overly clean sex (Falcon, Bel Ami, etc.); or with hot, rough sex but guys that are mostly astonishingly ugly and covered in tats (Treasure Island, HDK, Dick Wadd…). Occasionally, some good stuff comes from Eastern Europe, where the twain will meet. Vlado Iresch is one director who made my cock jump on several occasions. Not afraid of bodily fluids, either. (For gossake, you porn makers, loose the condoms – I wanna get horny, if I need a sex education class I’ll look elsewhere).
Other depressing staples of gay porn:
- Endless close-ups of a cock ramming an ass. It makes all porn look the same. Give me a complete view, show me bodies, chests, legs, faces, creative positions…!
- Actors jerking themselves off after a fuck session; at least let their buddy finish the job on them. If I wanna see masturbation I hardly need to buy a video, do I?
- Actors making a huge lot of noise in an attempt to disguise the fact that they are producing only one tiny little drop of cum.
- I agree with the objections made above against the magically vanishing clothes. Actually, it is often much hotter when a guy keeps some items of clothing on.
We need a lot more cum eating, double penetration, shaving, and serious S&M – and oh yes, when will Mr. Lucas finally get those Lautrec twins to actually fuck each other…?
Give me shaved men or women any day of the week, Dick and pussies of grown up don’t look like little boys or girls gentiles.