Society’s new sexual microcosm: the Men’s Room.

Gay Republican outings are the gift that just keeps on giving for us.

Not only do we get to witness years of pitiful self-loathing come crashing down upon a debased hypocrite, but we experience heterosexuals getting seriously deep as they ponder:

“Why, oh why!?” and “How could this have happened !?”

Their soul-searching always results in them wanting to peer into the murky depths of gay culture for the answer. If they really wanted to know, they’d look inward for the root cause.

Enter foxy, cerebral sex columnist Dan Savage to hold up a mirror to all the voyeuristic moralizing and lay bare what’s really driving Hetero Pillars of the Community into the stalls and headlines.

Larry Craig, like every other Right Wing closet case who’s been unearthed in the past seven years, has a problem, and no, it’s not just that he’s gay.

In the words of beleaguered outsider Dawn Weiner from Welcome To The Dollhouse: “Just because you’re a faggot doesn’t mean you’re an asshole.”

The problem is that Craig really believes he isn’t gay.

It takes years of denial, clandestine sexual encounters, go-through-the-motions marriages, and pathetic Bible thumping to get to that point. Gay is just the icing on top of a bitter cake made of delusion, dread, and sweet, sweet shame. Any self-respecting gay guy isn’t going to be caught dead doing it in a bathroom, much less in Minneapolis with this loser. (read the full article)

There’s no getting around it. If you’re a hot guy, eventually, at some point, you’re going to get fucked by Jake Cruise.

But even if you’re not so hot, this coming Monday, we’re proud to announce that we’ll be adding a new Jake Cruise theater to our already enormous collection of video feeds that we lovingly maintain for members of our exclusive Inner Circle.

Gay porn’s long-standing dirty daddy figure, Cruise has a well-deserved reputation for getting almost any guy he wants — and by ‘getting’ I mean plowing his butt. In fact, a certain level of disdain can be felt toward Jake from those with pointy skyward noses. Something about how he shouldn’t be using his position to create a sprawling, one man, self-serve cock buffet.

But those people would be missing the point, which I’ll spell out for them here. We all live vicariously through our daddy, Jake. We cannot resist the allure of his uncanny ability to sleep with men at least twelve steps above him on the hotness ladder. We put ourselves in his place and bask in the dreamy hope of also attaining such access.

Members of Nightcharm’s Inner Circle, of course, will have that self-same access on Monday, September 3rd. Mark your calendars.