Don’t let Carlos fool you! That ‘thug’ vibe of his? Well, it’s all bluff.
Once he entered our studios he was pliant and willing. Like a willow in spring. B-o-i-n-g!
Soon the Levis were off, the lube uncorked and a crazy-making jack-off session was underway, all caught — second by second — inch by inch — by our Maximo Latino crew.
And all just for you. Every gyration, grind and groan. Yes, every inch.
How many inches you ask? Well…check it out (more…)
At this time of year, when the moon turns orange and the witches fly, we think back on Rosemary Woodhouse, the unwitting mother of Satan’s son from Rosemary’s Baby, and Marguerite Perrin, the batshit-crazy “God Warrior” from Trading Spouses.
One is fictional, one is very literally in the flesh, but both are sisters under the skin.
Rosemary and Marguerite have each, in their different ways, decided that the world is full of witches — and not the Molly Weasley cook up some dinner with a spin of the wand kind, but malevolent, soul-sapping hags — give or take a Ruth Gordon chatterbox with a Noo Yawk accent and a brash way of barging into your apartment to quiz you on the price of the drapes.
At first Rosemary — sweet, hip, Mia Farrow-esque Rosemary, so proud of her edgy Vidal Sassoon boy bob — laughs at the idea ("in this day and age!") Then a good friend hands her the book All of Them Witches, which holds a clue to the true nature of her neighbors, the baby she is carrying, and the strange dream she had at the time of conception that involved a wolf-like beast with claws and slit pupils. (more…)
Attention Fictional Characters Everywhere!
Who will be next?
Now that Dumbledore has come out, now that Potter scholars are popping up everywhere saying they knew it all along, including one who counted off the wizard’s seven clues of gayness, not least of which was the lighthearted observation that “Albus Dumbledore” is an anagram for ‘Male bods rule, bud…”
Now in these heady, happy days of full-disclosure, Nightcharm wishes to urge other fictional characters to come out finally and share the love. And so we have composed Our Open Letters to the biggest Closet Cases in Films and Fiction: (more…)
He’s back! The happiest, sleaziest and most popular cocksucker in America.
Shrines celebrating his oral skills have been erected in just about every port, village and metropolitan area of the nation.
And now he’s taking on the Big Easy. Yes, it’s Treasure Island Media’s Damon Dogg in New Orleans! (more…)
Hi everybody, it’s me again, Nightcharm’s Unpaid Intern.
I’ve been living on the Nightcharm campus since I last wrote. Nightcharm’s publisher David K. thought I would learn more about working on a webzine if I was right under his nose. So I packed up my car and here I am. And it’s been great. I’m really sucking up — no, that’s wrong — soaking up the porn biz.
So the other day I was called up from the basement where I work in a tiny cubicle (not complaining, David, but it is small.) I also live down there in a small storeroom off to the side, that has a bed and stuff. So David calls me up from the dungeon (just kidding — insert smiley face here ) during a photo session and I meet these two hotties. (more…)
In the wake of the next gay Republican sex scandal, your child will have many questions. They will hear things at school and from the television that will trouble them. You can save them a lot of confusion if you speak to them now during this brief respite between arrests and indiscretions.
Sit your child down in a safe and non-threatening space — a beautiful hillside gold with autumn leaves will do — and then in a calm, reassuring voice touch on the following points: (more…)
Jacking off. Wanking. Strangling the Kitten.
Call it what you may. It still leads to the same predestined end: the load blast, our nation’s greatest natural resource.
Allow me to extol but a few of its many virtues:
It’s Slangy! More so than the actual dick itself, the money shot inspires countless nicknames:
Splooge, Man Chowder, Hot Man Mustard, Dong Water, Donut Glaze, Spunk, Number 3, Population Paste, Gentleman’s Relish, Skeet, Load, Man Fluid, Penis Butter, Manthrax, Gizzum, Love Juice, Man Cream, Spew, Seed, Baby Gravy, Pearl Necklace, La Leche, Jizz, Wad, Pimp Juice, Baby Batter, Nut and Man Jam.
As other body fluids go, blood is the more vital, but though it may spew like a fountain in horror films, how many sobriquets has it earned?
Tears are poetic, yet still one-name wonders. And lymph? Please! Back of the line.
It’s Dynamic! Upon reaching climax, semen is thrust outward at ten miles per hour. Nothing beats either spraying all over your own face or dousing that flexing dumb guy who wants to buy your term paper all the way from across the room.
Unless you’re Horst Shultz, holder of the world record for long-distance ejaculation at an astounding eighteen feet, nine inches.
Bravo to Horst, who coincidentally also claims the title for tallest man (twelve feet, four inches) and has presumably laid numerous wives to rest.
They died in ecstasy. (more…)
Is this you?
Have you had any of these life experiences?
Nightcharm is looking for thoughtful first-person accounts on these topics. More details below the jump. (more…)
