Fools that we are, we thought it was impossible to top the inanity of Senator Larry Craig’s Wide Stance defense.

We thought no excuse could ever hope to dim the otherworldly moonshine of Ted Haggard’s I Was Only Seeing a Male Escort To Buy Crystal Meth Which I Immediately Threw Away — So What’s the Big Deal?

But we were wrong — so very wrong.

Never underestimate the power of the closet to breed hot-house disclaimers and spawn brazenly absurd cover stories. Stand back you amateurs, you squirming senators and glary-eyed pastors with manic grins, we have a real master coming through!

Let us set the scene. Fade in: Rome.

Brilliant sunlight floods a busy piazza. It is right in front of Saint Peter’s Basilica, which looms over the square like the giant dome-capped head of the pope himself, who, of course, lives in one of its upper tiers. Around the square, which is not square at all but global in shape, are colonnades to either side, like round, embracing arms. St. Peter’s casts no shadow at this hour, for it is noontime and the piazza is filled with tourists, pigeons … and one black-clad monsignor making haste across our field of vision. (more…)

Ah, frat boys. Consider the plight of young privileged males on the college campuses of America. More boy than man, these sturdy, somewhat elongated young stags are in the grips of what Tom Wolfe memorably called “the season of the rising sap.” Completely housebroken, of course, but pretending otherwise to impress their “Bros.”

Bros should not be confused with dudes. Bros are closer than dudes, but dudes can become Bros after some straight-boy ritual of male bonding like consecutive all-nighters playing Halo 3 and ordering out for Taco Bell or performing any of the American tribal stunts seen in the Jackass films — taking turns riding in a shopping cart, for instance, as it barrels down a hill into traffic, then putting the video up on YouTube or your Facebook page.

It’s the deep basso chuckle of collective Bro-dom that one hears in darkened movie theaters when the notice comes up before the Jackass films warning that the stunts they’re about to see are being performed by “professionals” and should not be attempted by the jackasses in the audience.

In a world where closet doors have swung open, guy-bonding must never be mistaken for gay-bonding. Thus the phenomenon of “the gay seat” — what the Bros call the empty seat that’s left between two friends who go to the movie together but who must never be confused with being together. To double insure this, the Bros are most likely to attend what they call “dick flicks” — movies characterized by car crashes, explosions and boobs — the very polar opposite of the romance-sappy “chick flick,” and peopled almost exclusively by other guys all separated by empty seats. (more…)

Leave it to Raging Stallion Studios to completely redefine the term ‘rent boy.’

In our latest Inner Circle Rearstable video update we’re featuring Bobby Williams (no relation to Robbie) and Andreas Stich (no relation to Arnold Schwarzenegger) in a burning-down-the-house scene from the film Hot Properties.

The story is a quaint one: Cockhound Bobby is out looking for a house to rent — and some groin cartilage to gnaw on. Andreas is a pushy real estate agent with a mean drive for some tight ass. Soon Bobby is on the couch for a doggy-style pounding (above) followed by hours of five-star cock gobbling from Andreas. (more…)

John Waters is one of the icons of these post-Andy Warhol times.

Once hailed as a “Master of Sleaze”, the man with the creepy pencil mustache and the look of a drained vampire shunning the sun behind big swoopy sunglasses, John Waters has, with his films and books, subtly shaped the atmosphere of hip taste and pop intellectualism. It now drapes around him as comfortably as a well-made suit.

As the picture at left quietly attests, he is the essence of courtliness and chic, reminiscent, oddly, of Zachary Scott, the silky, duplicitous playboy who so brings our Joan to grief in Mildred Pierce. Yes, the bard of Baltimore has become stylish — after all.

Stylish and one of our sharpest gay humorists.

More culture critic, than funny man, his refreshing — at times, startling — takes on recent cultural events such as Britney’s MTV debacle or his own surprising commercial success with the musical Hairspray were on offer in an interview he gave a North Carolina newspaper, The Independent, before his talk there at Duke University. (more…)

You met him online and he seems like a real stud.

One thing leads to another and before you know it you’re building fantasies all over this guy. You’re nervous to arrange the date but his deep, masculine phone voice is everything you’ve been looking for from your ultimate fuck buddy.

It’s not until you enter his apartment that you’re confronted with the reality of your predicament: peach-scented candles, a collection of Gone With the Wind commemorative plates with certificates of authenticity from the Franklin Mint, a pastel-blue yarn toilet seat cover.

It’s too late to turn back, friend. You’ve entered the world of a Lurid Digs contender.

Of course if you’re lucky, Romeo will have posted images of himself online with indicative clues to his lack of taste before you ever arrive on the scene.

Each month, the readers of our sister site, Lurid Digs send us so many horrifying photos of their past, present, and potential online lovers surrounded by the type of carnage that we do so love to hate… it’s impossible for us to publish them all, but we sportingly keep trying.

It’s our mission to let the world know that no matter how hot a man is, if there is a giant pile of orange dog puppets behind him when he takes the shot for his profile, he’s probably not safe from scrutiny.

Visit the world of Lurid Digs now.

What television lovin’ gay kid from the sixties and seventies hasn’t wondered if I Dream of Jeannie’s mistress of Middle Eastern magic, Barbra Eden, had a sexy brother of equal hotness?

Well, leave it to Raging Stallion Studios– the San Fran porn producers who go the extra mile to fulfill every erotic fantasy you’ve ever had the pleasure of diddling within your agitated libido — to deliver up the magic.

And yes, we’re talking about a gay male genie. One of those supernatural creatures with the kind of aphrodisiacal spells that can transform a couch full of heterosexual males into a homo-writhing, clusterfucking Kodak moment.

We love disruptions like that. Don’t you?

We thought so. (more…)

Nightcharm is excited to bring Inner Circle members exclusive BUTT interviews and photo shoots. The following conversation between Jeppe Laursen and Gert Jonkers is the sort of spirited exchange that typifies the magazine’s easy-going and horny approach to all things queer. Enjoy! (more…)