His name is unknown to us.
His realm lies somewhere East of Shangri-La and West of Oz.
We’ll just call him Tony from Massapequa.
Tony from Massapequa put a great deal of thought into his senior year photo. It had to be memorable. Distinct. A visual paean to his unearthly august. And it is.
Sure, he could have spent the year reading Frankenstein or Of Mice & Men for English Lit, but Tony had real priorities. When he wasn’t waxing his Camaro or basting himself in body bronzer, he was at the gym blasting his delts and triceps to the sounds of Eminem and Linkin Park.
By early spring it had all payed off and Tony was ready for his big moment — the grand fulfillment of all his dreams.
With the aid of copious amounts of Paul Mitchell and Nair, Tony is nothing short of majestic in his Abercrombie & Fitch Phelps Trail shorts and kicky, strappy sandals. Summoning up all of the gravitas of his idol Nick Lachey, he looks to the stars and ponders a far-flung world beyond our own that is capable of reveling in his radiance, of truly fathoming the heavenly splendor of being Tony from Massapequa.
Few mortals would dare to risk the unbridled narcissism of literally basking in the radiance of themselves framed within a beatific gloriole a la God — or the Cheshire Cat , but Tony from Massapequa is no mere man.
He’s an experience.
That’s a strange Senior portrait. I was just looking through my high school year book and laughing at some of the strangeness in it - but this photo beats anything in it hands down. What was the thought process that lead to this? Was the art teacher he and his mother chose a better price than those other corporate senior packages that were offered? Did his photographer coax him out of his clothes or was this totally his idea? Was it a dare? Did he lose a bet? It’s a pair of shorts away from a jockstrap and the Athletic Model Guild. A great find. Good job guys!
o my gawd! this photo tells us everything we don’t want to know about the quirky meterosexualization of today’s 18 year olds.
When John Waters talks about the Wall of Irony that separates the wordly from the clueless, this is exactly what he means.
Is it me, or is the pose a quote from some Daniel in the Lion’s Den illustration? The sort of thing you’d find in the family bible, with Daniel bathed in divine light while the lions pace restlessly around him.
Obviously, this kid wants to get into show business –OF COURSE, IT’S HIS IDEA!
Whatta tool! I hope this image goes viral and he never escapes it. Never!
You know, at some level you’ve just gotta hand it to him. He’s got balls and he’s using them how he wants to use them. No queer boy would (or could) ever dare such a thing but wow, to be heterosexual and actually be willing to endure the firestorm that you know for sure is going to follow? I wish I were still living in that kind of unfettered, unconscious kind of freedom. When did we get to be so careful and so measured and so willing to trade in our authenticity for a popularity tiara?
Tony from Massapequa, rage on against the dying of your fearlessness and the fading of your true self. Monochrome catatonia comes soon enough. Pose on young man, pose on. But hey, maybe next time get a nicer drop cloth???
I agree with Tom.
The whole of our culture has become like high school where everyone is terrified to do the slightest, oddest action for fear of disturbing the mob mindset. And god forbid TMZ might be watching and run your pic alongside Brittney’s and Lohan’s.
My only complaint is Tony’s horrid haircut and styling. This isn’t Tony’s fault really — his hairdresser should be drawn and quartered.
And I agree with Minsch: there is WAY too much product in your hair, Tony.
so beautiful face!
This sounds weird but this is the kind of “senior photo” that gets taken today, regardless of the sex of the subject. Guys do shirtless, girls do gowns, and they all get packaged for various reasons: to give to sig-others, for college apps (no joke), for families… We live in an age where EVERYONE is special and should be treated as a star. I do think Tony’s got some guts - and now that guys can show it all too, why not?
I also say Bravo to Tony for having the guts to do the photo. It really doesn’t seem that outlandish today with the way the media portrays everything.
Oh, and yeah, his hair could be a lot better styled, but most young guys are doing their hair like that right now.
I think he’s supposed to be looking at God.
I think he’s hot.
Nobody should ever recline half naked and staring with adoration beside their own huge floatoshop head.