Have you ever wondered about the rampant gayface you see on professional homophobes?
Take a look at this gallery of “manly” faces — the simpering Gary Bauer, the Golly Gee eyed Peter LaBarbera, the pudding-faced Robert Knight — all of them spokesman for organizations that freak out regularly over gay civil rights — the so-called “gay agenda.”
In point of fact, it is these spokesman for Christian-front organizations with names like Americans for the Truth about Homosexuality (a one-man operation by nutjob LaBarbera) and Concerned Women for America (odd isn’t it, for a man — pudgy-wudgy Robert Knight — to be the head of a woman-specific organization)… it is these Concerned Morons for Homophobia that have the agenda — a theocratic one.
But that’s not all they have. These Prisoners of the Inappropriate Gayface also possess an oddly fine tuned gaydar that goes off — in full, flaming four-alarm mode — at the first breath of a whisper, at the teeniest hint of gender “confusion” in Barbie dolls, at the “blatant gay militancy” to be found on the cardboard cups at Starbucks , at the softest rustling in the bushes …
A rustling that signals that someone somewhere is enjoying homosex, that dark, intoxicating drug, one whiff of which will destroy a family and turn a man to GAY, much as a certain citizen of Sodom was turned into a pillar of salt for one forbidden, backward glance — or so it seems to these hyperactive, much too interested spokesmen.
But get this: Researchers have now concluded that the site of gaydar in homophobes — and probably in the rest us with that something extra — is — surprise! — the penis!
A HBO documentary now available on DVD, entitled Middle Sexes, narrated by a drolly sardonic Gore Vidal, reports on an interesting experiment done on homophobes that involved pulling their pants down. Let’s go to the videotape:
Ah yes, the ladies doth protest too much…methinks.
I’m paraphrasing Scott Thompson’s/Buddy Cole’s bon mot from “Kids In The Hall”: why is it always the doughy, creepy men who not only believe that all of us want them, but that they somehow know what we’re thinking?
To tie in with this, I saw an A&E special a few months ago featuring a pre-scandal Ted Haggard admonishing the faithful to beware the Antichrist.
Uh-huh. Thank you Ted.
Interesting that 100 percent of these guys are from the world of religion–all sorts. It’s not 80 or 90 percent, it’s 100. The only people who care whose dick goes in whose orifice are instructed so by their religious authorities. No one else really gives a rat’s ass, even nonreligious conservatives, usually, who tend to be libertarian. So these guys who read as gay most certainly ARE gay, and are under a huge amount of tension. Their ant-gay stance is a way of showing how serious they are to whichever authority they’re trying to please (which I hold is far less often God than it is one of God’s self-appointed earthy representatives–and that’s part of these guys’ whole confusion)>
I know a guy whose job unfortunately takes him to the annual Christian Booksellers Assiciation Convention, which is the big shindig for Evangelical Christian publishing. It’s about as surreal as you’d imagine, he says, but one intriguing feature is that the aisles are practically TEEMING with Ted Haggards. A zillion mincing preacher lads who read as completely gay yet who probably write books calling for gay concentration camps.
These witch hunting fuckheads just waited for their red letter day when King George took the throne. It’s another thing to thank him for: the moment he stepped into the White House, all these rats dreaming of being the next Falwell scurried in the door right behind him.
It makes me sad. All those people hating themselves and insisting we hate them too, but subliminated onto someone else. They suffer, so they want to make us all suffer. Tragic. Fucking tragic.
And what does it say about those who probably have photos of all those guys fucking a dead cat or something yet stay silent because they don’t want to cause them any pain or damage to their reputation?
Guilty by omission, NG? All members of the Hypocritical Day Spa?
Thanks DaveO.
We love the Christian Booksellers story. That’s exactly the sort of anecdote that brings up the truth behind all this homo – literally, PHOBIA.
hmm. sounds interesting- finally there seems to be some scientific evidence that, as john wrote, the lady doth protest too much. but guys, i’m not totally convinced- on several counts.
firstly, it seems that you are all conflating 2 different populations- religious conservatives and non-religious conservatives. vidal didn’t say anything about the religious affiliation of the participants in the experiemnt, and said the psychologists simply broke them up into a ‘homophobic’ and ‘non-homophobic’ group.
secondly, you can’t assume the universality of this study’s findings until they have been replicated by other researchers in a variety of other settings. the arousal patterns of 64 college boys from georgia one fine day in 1996 cannot instantly provide us with insight into a psychological mechanism like homophobia (or the denial which supposedly causes it), which underpins a complex nation-wide political struggle.
Thirdly, as fucked up and self deceiving as some people can definitely be, i’ve always suspected that this idea most gays bandy around about homophobes secretly harbouring gay desires is itself a product of wishful thinking and denial. It’s as though we can’t bear the notion that all that hate for us out there is real.
That all our enemies are really in our camp is a horrible idea.
But it’s not necessay to go through such psycoanalytical contortions in order to understand our position in society. Look at racism- it definitely can’t operate in such a way. Hate is hate. It’s always ugly, no matter who cops it. It’s simply illegitimate. For gays, I think it’s mostly a gender issue- we are seen as weak and effeminate, like women, because we allow ourselves to be orally and anally penetrated by another man’s cock, and therefore are not real men. And since sissies can’t play with the big boys, we are denied access to the corridors of power, and end up with few rights, and little respect.
Ask yourselves-why is homophobia so prevalent? Because it is institutionalised- totally embedded in society- something that couldn’t occur just from the whims of a vocal minority of closeted religious nuts. I’ll bet all too few moderate, agnostic conservatives go fishing every summer with their gay buddies from college. Jock versus geek/sissy- now those are broad social identities with no religious underpinnings. The problem of homophobia was around long before Bush and his wacky theocons showed up.
Thank you, johnnyrascal. An excellent deconstruction of homophobia and a compelling point of view. I agree that effeminate male behavior grosses a lot of straight guys out at a visceral level. But many of those guys don’t become professional bigots. They just avoid gay people, have a bias against them, which when they’re upfront about it, is always being modified and making allowances for the gay people they happen to like. “He’s gay but he’s okay” sort of thing.
It’s the professional bigots, the ones that feel righteously commanded to stamp out male homosexuality — those are the people who are more than casually interested in gay sex. They are usually men and they are usually most venomous toward gay male sex. There is more to this fire that mere smoke.
That was why I applied the evidence from this small but I would argue definitive study — a hard-on is a hard-on; it can’t be analyzed out of existence — to professional homophobes, who cloak their … well, obsession (could there be a better word for it!) … in moldy religious texts. They are simply too excited by the idea of gay sex, however negatively they express that excitement.
Look at someone like Anita Bryant, in many ways the prototype for the zealots/bigots we know today. There had to be something pathological going on there. She did inestimable damage to her marriage, career, income, reputation, her life in general for the sake of combating her gay phantom menace. The woman got pied in the face during a news conference.
We all have our nemeses in life, but at some point you cross the line into utter paranoid lunacy and self-destruction. I guess the scorpion can choose to sting itself to death rather than carry the frog across the river, but at what point is hate self-consuming and scornfully tragic?
Am I the only person who looked at Anita Bryant and saw a closeted Lesbian?
I ALREADY SAW THIS ON UTUBE LOL
take the pants off!