Boys showing off their junk!
We live in the Age of Porncreep, where everyone aspires to be a porn model — from the boy next door to the store-bought boy on DVD. The Under-Thirties just can’t take off their clothes for the camera fast enough.
And yet…What could be more wholesome and natural, to quote Tallulah Bankhead, who when Chico Marx tried to get a rise out of the lanky glamorgirl with a crude “I intend to fuck you, Miss Bankhead,” replied, “And so you shall, you dear old-fashion boy!”
Old-fashion boys have always been proud of their displays — the peacock (not peahen) flares open his tail to reveal a starry twilight sky out of the Arabian Nights, and this magnificence finds its boydom equivalent in the raging two-handfuls of hard-on.
Indeed, what could be more wholesome and natural …. with one slight but very modern twist.
Here we invoke the shade of the now forgotten Jeff Gannon:
In the wake of the gay-escort scandal that would reveal Jeff Gannon to be not only a Republican mouthpiece planted at White House press briefings to ask friendly, Bush-idolatrous questions but that he himself — a studly Lex Luthor lookalike with bald, cue-ball head — was a gay hustler with a website that sold dates, underwear, and his own bodily secretions … in the wake of this the most delicious “Family Values” scandal of 2005, ol’ Jeffrey faced the hostile questioners with a bland Lex Luthor smile and the sort of uncanny clairvoyance usually left to Allison DuBois.
“In the future,” he said, without a trace of shame, “everyone will have a picture on the Internet that they’re embarrassed by.”
Ah yes, the Internet! The Sign that is the Times. The spark of Promethean fire that has brought light to the dark places. In its digital glow, the whole world has shown itself to be one big, happy fuck orgy.
And as far as embarrassment goes. We see no evidence of it … well, not just yet in these young and reckless lads, most of them in their late teens or early 20’s.
The snapshots are themselves worthy of study. With a shock, we find they are familiar to us from studio “catalog shots” where the tradition is to turn menacing street trade into safe, passive objects for our … afternoon prayers.
We doubt, though, that this current crop of shutterbugs is showing off their engorged cocks to titillate masturbatory reveries in male viewers, or even female ones.
The motive seems more likely to be a form of boasting, an update on guys of a more genteel America who would strike a cocky stance in their skin-tight muscle shirts as they stood beside souped-up Chevys. These were always submerged sexual advertisements: the shiny red convertible as vagina substitute into which the hard-bodied boy slips himself, describing “her” ride as “sweet,” priding himself on how nosily he can peel out of a tight space and race his beauty against the wind.
But that was a discreet, euphemistic time. In the Age of Porncreep, the metaphor has been trampled under by the literal, the poetic by the prosaic. Not that we’re complaining.
We scholars of porn can not help but be struck by the formality of so many of these everyman snapshots. How they follow, without variation or mistake, a tradition in which the cock is made to seem to tower over the body by placing the camera flush to the ball sack. In a miracle of exaggerated foreshortening, The Penis that Devoured Cleveland stalks over a lean, rapidly receding body to meet its only nemesis, the giant rising head of the cute suburban boy.
Without prior instruction or — we assume — exposure to the source materials mouldering away in the cob-webby files of the Athletic Model Guild, these Boys Next Door lack only the street-hardened faces of their gay-for-pay ancestors.
Gone is the pissed-off discomfort of rough trade making itself an object for ogling. These young shutterbugs merely register high seriousness — so taken are they with the vascular surge roaring through them — or outright joy as their proud erections soar skyward.
The Hunk of Funk, at right, for instance, has certainly gotten into the spirit of the thing. Not only the thing, but of the Age itself.
Greece had its philosophers, the Renaissance its painters, the Constitutional Convention its Enlightenment intellectuals, and Porncreep has its humperoonies on the hoof, happy to see ya, happy to see everybody! To see and, more importantly, be seen … in total. Look World. This is ME. Your new American Idol.
With Jenna Jameson’s hilarious, no-punches-pulled How To Make Love like a Porn Star on the bestseller list (”After three hours of sweaty, psychotic sex, she handed me a huge black strap-on”), and the once optional webcam now standard on brand new laptops, porn has become middle-class enough for both college Bros and blue-collar grease monkeys to roll their own.
Most au courant of all — a modern classic of sorts — is the nude shot in the mirror with digital camera in hand. This is a whole new genre of photo, and one that the spaceship people will frown over when they pick through the rubble of our ancient civilization, learning much of our customs and ways, particularly how the baseball cap is to be worn.
As we noted earlier, being a porn model has only recently shed its low-class, survival-sex connotations. Not by accident, the Age of Porncreep coincides with the age of the Internet.
It is an age in which hard copies are becoming obsolete. Horned-up digital photos need no awkward trips to a third party to develop the film. The image exists only as machine code, as an antiseptic list of 0’s and 1’s that switch electronic circuits on and off, rapidly uploaded and downloaded to the Internet, circling the globe in a blink, ending up in all sorts of unintended places — like porn sites that specialize in straight amateurs, however unwary.
The posting of the porn self-portrait is akin to an impulse purchase. Just as quickly as it appears, a new one downloads and replaces it.
To the modern Under-Thirty mind, we suspect, it is merely a matter of when, not if, the picture will be sent up into the ether. After all, who has time to be embarrassed when everything is moving at the speed of fiber-optic light?
And so we celebrate the Now. We celebrate an instant people in an instant time. Hail the Age of Porncreep, when idle hands and devils’ workshops are everywhere on spectacular, well-endowed display.
hat tip to Backroom
Totally Sexy. ^_~
HOT. HOT. HOT. HOT. HOT. I kept trying to read the article copy but I still haven’t succeeded. All those pictures!!! I am conquered.
They’re so hot!!!! Oh shit I just cummed myself =)
Maybe its because the porn of one’s youth is always the hottest, but I still find the rough trade attitude (”you wanna see my dick? It’ll cost ya….”) much more jack-offable than boys blandly showing off their cocks.
I’d like to be put “flush to the ball sack” of the guy with the “camera flush to the ball sack.” In the last pic the guy’s cock doesn’t look nearly as thick in the mirror shot as in the real shot, again pointing out the importance of angle in the look of things. By the way, the article on Jeff Gannon that was linked to in the article is hilarious. All hot pics. I like the new porn.
If you have it … flaunt it!
There is just something about amateur porn that is so much more erotic than the commercial stuff. These self portraits rock!
CandyMan
As a fairly recent newcomer to the XTube phenomenon I’ve been blown away by the total casualness and comfort with which guys all over the planet are showing off their cocks and then jerking them off for all the world to see. With most there isn’t even a hint of embarassment or self-consciousness - it’s like they were born to the simplicity and naturalness of it all. Some guys hide or disguise their faces, but most don’t. I guess that means they’re down with you and me knowing what they look like naked and what they look like shooting jizz all over their face. “Hey, look at me swallow my cum! Wanna see me stick this beer bottle up my ass? I like girls but I don’t mind if you dudes watch. Comments welcome!”
I’ve been blown away by this sea change in the sexual landscape of our cultures. It’s actually really exciting to me because it means that a lot of the prudishness and self-consciousness of generations past is quickly disappearing and being replaced by a genuine comfort with our bodies and our sexual activities.
You know, I don’t even see all of this as porn anymore. I’m not sure what it is but it feels like something really different than porn because it’s all just so natural and fun and horny and unrehearsed. I watch some kid out there jerking off on cam with his finger up his ass and I’m thinking, wow, that kid’s friends are likely to see this and his siblings or parents might see it and wow, he doesn’t fucking give a shit. There’s something pretty honest and liberated in that and I like where it’s all going.
I agree with CandyMan - amateur snaps of guys showing me their junk is always much more steamy and personal. Viva La Digital Revolution!
I find stuff like this to be far more attractive than porn. It might be these guys’ naiive innocence in thinking that taking this picture is actually a good idea, or it might be the sense of authenticity in the fact that you know they weren’t making money for it. Or it might be that, unlike most of what is available commercially, these guys have a bit of real, natural, non-artificial testosterone. Or it might be the fact that all of them, amature as they may be, have discovered that the naked human body looks just a little bet better when positioned to the side; the cell phone bathroom mirror shot just cannot do justice to abs or biceps the way a professional photographer could. It’s cute to see guys in that process of discovery, like when a toddler bangs on a piano for the first time to find it makes a sound.
I’m still waiting for all the shit I did Online when I was 17 to hit the fan. I’m hoping it was common enough to be a non-issue - it’s lost in a sea of random photos of millions of people - but I wouldn’t be incredibly surpised if it someday came back to haunt me.
I agree with you Tom. And, Matt, now I’m cat curious as to what it is you did when you were seventeen that you’re waiting to have come back to haunt you.
Do share.
Oh so true and yet they make it thanks to you! Man they are cute!
it just makes me feel all walt whittleman:
“O! thumb of love!
O, be-furred orbs in their very orbits!
O! Tongue, mine tongue!
if i could get these balls off my chin,
i’d be able to sing this body electric!
you impudent boi!”
Are cock shots really porn anymore? Have they become so de rigeur (or fast becoming so) that really unless you’re a teacher or a politician, it’s no more an oddity than taking a picture standing next to your car, as the article suggests? I think it’s partly human (male) nature, just because it kind of just hangs all out there that we’ve returned back to a digital time where we just dont see why NOT let it all hang out there. It’s also a new form of bravery, or masculinity, or whatever word you choose for “having balls”. Here I am and I am not afraid or ashamed. It’s not even about bragging usually. Some exibitionism sure. Foto Ergo Sum.
wow u guy just sit around and play with ur tiny penises NO LIFE!!!
haha, I love it - I recognize the guy in the middle of that first picture.
Hey, Abercrombie dude has got a good idea going. like the foreshortening.
Hell I wish I can have all them at once