Beware Nightcharmers!

The evil bunnyman is back to haunt our Easter morning dreams.

Not one thing or another, he appears as a sort of manthing, a creature with buff body and hellish costume head.

How many men have been led astray by this sinister hallucination, who comes always during the nighttime of the soul, chatting James Stewart out of his mind in Harvey or opening a portal into yet another mad world for Jake Gyllenhaal in Donnie Darko?

It was the bunnyman, was it not, cinema scholars, who sent Jack Nicholson right around that final bend in The Shining when the spooky cottontail was spied out of the corner of the eye, sitting eerily on a hotel bed in full head-to-toe rabbit suit, about to give a blow job.

Oh, evil is the evil bunnyman. How evil? Just ask Alice when she’s ten feet tall.

As the rare snapshot above attests, the bunnyman is not without his good points. Yes, yes, yes, he’s wanted in all 50 states, under such disarming aliases as “Peter the Cottontail,” “Peter the Handyman,” “Peter the Male Escort” and “Anton Chigurh” — still!

Did we mention the bitchin’ bod? The absence of a human face?

Sex with a faceless man. Let’s face it, boys, we’ve all met the bunnyman in one dark room or another and lived to tell the … aha! … tail.

Sweet dreams and jellybeans, this Easter morn.

Or not so sweet, like this one, the notorious “Frank” scene from Donnie Darko.

MONEY LINE:
“Why do you wear that stupid bunny suit?”
“Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?”

What thinking gay man hasn’t asked himself this very question?