You’d think that being a man who is attracted to other men gives you a leg-up on how to make yourself look hot. You know exactly what someone who looks at men would like, and you can emulate those traits or build up those parts of your body.
I’m talking specifically about the key areas where the eyes drift on a nearly-naked male, or the features that identify him as healthy, fit or masculine. In our culture those places are especially well-built abs, pecs and biceps.
So it shouldn’t be surprising to see gay men pounding away at those muscles in the gym, emerging with ballooning chests, thick arms and rippled abdomens, but with a little less build elsewhere. If not committed enough to work on all three, some guys will focus on one of those areas; you’ll find skinny boys with abs so defined you could grate cheese on them, or pecs that look like they could fill a D-cup — complete with horizontal creases two inches under each nipple.
That’s what I call the gay physique. I don’t mean to be derogatory, but when I walk around in a gay club where all the men are shirtless or in tight clothes, its painfully obvious who built themselves up by moving a hunk of metal back and forth in one of the most controlled and linear ways possible.
The key place to look is the forearms, which go largely ignored in a gym, and will be small in proportion to the rest of the body. Then every once in a while you’ll see a guy with a chest so big you want to ask if he’s ever tried to balance a TV tray on it.
This isn’t a rant against artificiality, because the truth is that gym-sculpted pecs and abs are attractive, and when I want to look muscular with as little effort in the gym as possible, I go straight to those areas. But I do want to take the time to appreciate what happens when your preferred exercise is somewhere outside a weight room.
I’m talking about rock climbers, runners, surfers, hikers, basketball players, or anyone who lifts and carries things as a job but doesn’t spend hours each week pumping iron. That is where, in my opinion, the most attractive physiques emerge. If a guy does a lot with his hands, his forearms will get bigger in proportion to the rest of his body. You might find a weaker chest and a stronger back, or you might find that there isn’t much discernible musculature at all but the guy still strikes you as active.
I admit it might be a prejudice of image — while some prefer skateboarders or preppy guys or jocks, I like outdoorsy types, and I interpret their body type as part of that style or look.
I know many straight women who won’t hesitate to say they’re jealous of the sculpted appearance gay men often keep up into their 30s because of the time they tend to spend in the gym. But I can also say I don’t think there’s any time a wrestler looks better than when he’s got another guy pinned under his arm, or a climber than when he’s bronzed and sweaty dangling from a cliff.
Remember the cliché everyone has heard since high school, “it’s not the size of the worm, it’s the way it wiggles.” I say it’s not about the way your body looks, it’s how you move it.
I always find that a very gym toned physique might be nice to look at in a photo or video but I rarely find myself wanting to touch it. It always looks kind of cold and unreal to me. Whereas a natural body - muscled or not - is so much more attractive to me. It looks warm, inviting and human.
Oh, and for forearms that don’t look all T-Rex next to your gigantor biceps, I recommend playing the drums. It’s given me some pretty badass forearms.
A friend and I were talking about this at dinner last night. How the whole six-pack ab thing is beginning to look sterile and sort of insect-like (the way a cockroach or lobster has ‘ridges’ all along its underside). I blame Madison Ave. and especially Calvin Klein. Can you imagine what Calvin Klein’s abs look like now. I dare you.
If guys spent as much time working on developing their character, their mind or some form of creative expression, as they do on fretting about their fucking abs, the gay world would be a lot more intresting; less artificial, more engaging and alive.
Don’t you think?
Gidge, I agree. But I would argue you could look past Madison Ave and even further towards the Renaissance and the Greeks–who celebrated an overly stylized, cookie-cutter physical perfection which the West has obsessed about thereafter. Gay men would be more interesting if they focused on other pursuits–but they’ve painted themselves into a corner. Sad.
Ifeel like a complete hypocrit to say yes I agree with everything said….and then look, leer and lust over them (any fit body). And, right up front…my body has suffered from years of neglect…then two years ago I started working on it but became disabled in the process and now it’s even worse…so this is a really sore subject..no, sad subject for me. Add that I’m 52 and seeing the ravages of other things I’ve subjected my body to, the only clear and concise advice I can sputter is this…yes, it’s better to work your complete body….NOW, that means eating correctly, no bad fats carbs etc. and lots of fruit grains, well, you know..do cardo and weights on all muscles..if you don’t know how, hell, there will always be some other cutie there to help, just ask. Now, the really important thing: if you say hell I don’t want to do that then at least do this…keep going to the gym and working on whatever the hell muscle you want to because it’s better than nothing…lastly, does this need to be said? DON’T drink excessively…and for god’s sake…don’t put anything in your mouth that a doctor did not prescribe for YOU.
my words of wisdom for the day.
ceg.
Sorry guys, one more observation though…I laughed after realizing the two pics were significant…so, come on Matt…one factor you left out. The one on the left is called past the age of 25 and realizing the need to work out (albeit I agree with everything you said!!!) and the one on the right is called YOUTH and trust me, when the little 18-something hits 25-30 and he’s been under the delusion that body will stay that way…well, lets just keep the persona blue blades away from him.
This site’s great…always makes my day.
ceg
Curtis, thanks for that observation. I actually didn’t choose the photos for this or write this based on those photos, though I do think they convey what I was getting at.
The year I turned 20 was the year I felt the undying urge to bulk up. It was one thing to be 5′11″ and 135 pounds at age 18 - you’re called a “twink” and that’s in high demand. But I remember it was the week I of my 20th birthday that I suddenly realized I needed to gain weight, fast, because I looked like a caricature. The way my arms and legs were so skinny gave me the apperance of having giant hands and feet.
The main contrast I am getting at is not big and buff vs. sinewy and slim. That might be one way to look at it, but rock climbers or wrestlers might get buff too. It’s just the way the pounds of muscle pack on a little differently if they’re grown through delicate or multi-directional movements, rather than very streamlined and repetitive movements in 1-hour spurts three times a week. I bet if anyone over 40 took up rock climbing and backpacking, he could get a nice body without having to pump iron. I know metabolism plays a role, but I think the office job and morning cappuccinos make a big difference too and the fact that most people living in the city just don’t get up to the mountains that often.
Absolutely Matt…and spiritually, climbing and hiking beat the gym hands down.
ceg
Why have so many of the gay male porn stars who have gotten a little age on them (Billy Brandt, Spike, Jeff Stryker, Josh Weston, to name a few)) suddenly bulked up & now look so gross? I hope this doesn’t happen to Roman Heart. An article based on interviews with some of these guys might be interesting.
lets go swimming together baby.
The other obvious solution is to have a disciplined gym routine that works the whole body.
This kind of well-rounded routine would include such evil work outs as squats, dead lifts, rows and tricept pulls.
Going to the gym a few times a week is a good thing. Going to the gym every day for 4 hours….not so much.
…Part of why the men of 70’s porn and genuine amateur porn can be so hot–fit, perhaps, but not hopelessly “gym toned.” I love me some old pictures of someone like Tony Nero–extremely desirable body, but naturally, effortlessly, realistically so.
The forearms may be one tip-off, but in my parts it seems more frequently to be everything below the hips. Some douchebaggy steriods and creatine glutton will spend hours a day on his chest, arms and abs, but nothing else, looking rather top-heavy walking around the gym on a pair of scrawny chicken legs and a nonexistent ass.
When you look at the old B&W pics of the original “strongmen” (those that predated contemporary bodybuilding), you’ll see that they had wide backs and well-developed shoulders and arms, but none of them have big slabs of pec muscles. That’s because there’s not a natural movement that we do in everyday life that mimics a flat bench press, or cable cross overs, or dumbbell flys. When would you ever lay flat on your back and push up on massive amounts of weight, except when buried under wreckage? I always thought it was kind of amusing that that particular standard of male beauty has nothing at all to do with “real life.”
Having said that… I benchpress at least twice a week.
Every time I’m in a bar and some flabby nelly queen tells me how shallow I am for being in shape, and how people shpould should be appreciated for their minds and character, all the while trying to feel me up, I think what a bunch of fucking hypocrites a lot of fags are. There, I said it. Develope your mind AND body.
Like the bible thumpers going to church all the time thinking it will buy them a ticket to heaven; gay men go to the gym all the time and think its going to buy them happiness. It may help somewhat to receive shallow praise and hollow validation but it doesn’t last. Developing your mind to think beyond reality television and to have opinions that aren’t necessarily someone else’s is a great start. The brain is after all the largest sex organ and it is often the least used.
I have only just discovered this site, and my god what can I say, only “where have you been all my life” I have enjoyed reading every post and topic, keep it up lads, you keeps lads like us who not as articulated informed, in a pleasent way.
I have just spent my sunday morning browsing over pages of gay news
but the comments posted here have been so so true and to the point.
I particularly enjoyed the openeing comment of Gidge (Sorry if spelt wrong)
from there it just got got more and more enjoyable to read.
Again guys cheers keep on posting
and help keep amazing threads like this alive
There’s nothing wrong with going to the gym 4 days a week. If you’re doing a proper workout, you’ll be finished in 1 hour. And you’ll work all body parts, keeping everything in scale. It’s true that having, say, a huge chest at the expense of the back (the “hunched over” guys you see walking around)is unbalanced in every way. But to accuse someone who’s muscular from head to toe because he works his ass of at the gym smacks of envy.
i agree with the comment above by David
grt
It’s funny to see all these “tones and healty” guys on a club…looking for drugs and attention.
The gay scene is so lame. And it’s a shame.
If you go to gym just so others can look at you, then you have a problem.