When contemplating whether or not to meet someone from online, the question always arises.
He’ll ask you if you don’t ask first.
The query will come in the universally-recognized instant-message shorthand, as if the cutesy language counteracts the outright audacity of what he wants to know:
how big r u?
Six feet tall, 160 pounds, you could say. Or if you don’t like him, you could give the exceedingly sarcastic, “human sized,” which comes to “about the size of two beer coolers stacked on end.” But you know that isn’t really what he means.
At this point he’s already seen a JPEG picture of your face and probably one of your shirtless body, maybe even one that vaguely reveals the outline of your semi-hard cock through loose-fitting boxer shorts. You’ve sized each other up, and even if you’ve arranged to meet “just to hang out,” you’ve both emphasized that you’re attracted to each other and won’t brush the other’s hand away if later you find it creeping up your thigh.
But there isn’t a green light until he knows how big your cock is.
It’s not necessarily that he’d reject you at this point if your member isn’t to his satisfaction, but he at least wants to prepare himself, or to weigh the information with everything else he knows about you.
So you’re faced with an awfully tricky question.
how big r u?
The thing about the cock size disclosure is that, in my experience, hardly anyone tells the truth. I know the statistics and I’ve seen far too many “nine inch” answers to deny that something funky’s going on. I’ve also had far too many experiences with guys who say they’re “seven and a half,” and I’m thinking, shit, I’m going to feel inferior — but when we finally get down to it we’re exactly the same size.
Online courtship, or perhaps any courtship, is a delicate dance between fantasy and reality. It’s animal, but it’s also political and it’s an art. He wants to know a little about you — wants you to be honest so he knows if he’s in to you — but he also wants to be titillated and entertained. And he expects you to exaggerate a little bit, and to downplay your shortcomings, because that’s what everyone does, and confidence is cool. It’s like a job interview — you wouldn’t say “well I’m not sure if I’m really qualified but if you hire me I guess we’ll know in a month.”
I’ve come to the understanding that when you subtract an inch and a half from the number he offers, you get the correct length of his cock. Add an inch and a half to your own when you state your own length.
That is why I say, “I’m 7.5 inches, thick.”
It’s not that I want to lie, but by the standard rule if I said I was six inches he could be thinking I was only four and a half. Sometimes I just say, “six, but everyone lies by two, so eight.” Guys I say that to always say “lol” and I don’t really know what they think of it.
The proper way to measure a penis, according to all the magazines I’ve read, is along the top. You get yourself hard, push it down so it’s perfectly horizontal (assuming you are standing), shove the base of the ruler into your pubes and measure where the tip reaches.
Make sure the end of the ruler closest to your body is the end that reads 0 and not the end that reads 12 (I have to be this specific because people do whatever they can to add length). You don’t measure along the underside, because the curve gives you an extra inch for every five, so it’s cheating. You sure as hell don’t measure from the base of your scrotum because then everyone would pull their balls back towards their assholes and get something like eleven inches. Though I wholeheartedly believe that there are guys out there who do that and think it’s legitimate.
If you’re unhappy or ashamed of the number you get when you measure things the right way, you can spice it up with extraneous details, if they’re true. You can say something like “five inches with a big head,” or “six inches, big balls; low-hangers.”
Or you could just suck it up, take the picture, and let him judge for himself. Heaven knows we could use more photos of cocks on the Internet. Or lie like everyone else does.
When I’m feeling really bitchy with someone I’m not in to, I sometimes say I can’t get a good measure because there’s been “some damage.” I’ll ask, “do you mean to the stump, or do you want to know what it was before the accident?” I’ve also said, “the doctors weren’t able to decide if it was a penis or a really big clit.” I think they know I’m fucking with them, but they stop talking to me nonetheless.
The dick size dance gives guys all kinds of insecurities, I know, especially young ones who don’t know the game. I remember being a teenager and thinking, shit, everyone I talk to has me by an inch or more. I thought I was freakishly small, or at least below average, which in my mind may as well have been freakishly small. When I finally got out there I realized how much people exaggerate.
But now, no, I don’t have anything to worry about like that anymore. I know the game, and I’m 7.5 inches, thick.
Great story! My ex was about 10.5″ (and I’m NOT adding inches!). We referred to it as a kielbasa (hey,,he was Polish). When he’d cum, he’d damn near drown me!
I think you are on target — I have a similar response, and I say I am 8 gay inches — I know and most other gay men know that gays almost always add 1 1/2 to 2 inches to the scientific measurement but I leave it to the other party in the discussion to make the connection.
I’ve actually never measured mine and probably never will. For some reason I’ve never cared despite being a bit of a size queen. And I haven’t had any complaints so I don’t think it’s such a big deal.
When I was single, I often underestimated the size of my cock. I’d say average, when most people class it as a large.
There is so much more to sex than penis size.
I can’t stop staring at the picture of the guy with the paper towel roll next to his cock. It’s hypnotic.
Don’t ask - don’t tell.
This article matches my experience, too. I tend to say I’m “almost 6 real inches,” even though the “almost” maybe sounds like too much wiggle room. That being said, I’ve never had a complaint about my cock size either, and can honestly say that I am perfectly happy with my size.
If everyone exaggerates online, and everyone knows everyone exaggerates, and everyone knows everyone know everyone exaggerates—well, you see where I’m going…
funny article, but i don’t think size is that big of a deal. …maybe because i’m just that big.
Jeez, I’ve NEVER seen anyone with a dick like that 2 1/2 incher! That’s more shocking than the really big ones.
The exaggerated inches are referred to as “gay inches”.
Also, dick lengths will be the really final measurement left in imperial numbers when everything else has gone metric.
two and a half is generous on that sprig. i’m just happy my boyfriend is happy with my real 8 inches!
It is a fairly honest account on how guys are when they aren’t wanting to admit how big they are. I say I m only 6.75″ cut, because its the truth although some people say I m bigger than that. I m just really thick is all, to where some people don’t want to take it up their ass. Which is honestly a real bummer.
So true! And I’ve never measured mine either–don’t give a shit, nor have I been with a guy who does.
Interesting. May we now have a treatise discussing the use and abuse of “GL”?
Thank you.
Question: The article says that measuring from the bottom is ‘cheating’, because it adds an extra inch-inch-and-a-half. Isn’t it logical to measure someting from its’ longest point, or to get an average length from measuring from the top AND bottom?
“Question: The article says that measuring from the bottom is ‘cheating’, because it adds an extra inch-inch-and-a-half. Isn’t it logical to measure someting from its’ longest point, or to get an average length from measuring from the top AND bottom?”
No, becuase there isn’t a clear starting point when measuring along the bottom. Do you measure from the scrotum, or from the line where the skin texture changes? If the penis is curved down between the legs do you follow it along that curve even though that portion is actually attached to the body? Of course everyone wants to get the longest length they can, so you don’t want the technique to be even a little bit vague.
If you were measuring the height of a tree that had big surface roots along a hill on one side of the trunk, you wouldn’t count the length of the roots as part of the height. You’d measure the highest point on the ground at the base of the tree to the highest point on the tree.
In any case, whenever penis sizes have been studiend in a medical setting, they’ve measured along the top of the penis. That’s where they came up with the average human penis length as 5.5 inches.
gonna post in my blog! haha
ya know, as long as there is 1 big one around, i dont see the problem!
I have bout 4.5 hard that is true.
but I’m proud of it . !
It isn’t bout the size its the way u use it !
any comments on my dick are welcome x
I agree with bobby.
I NEVER SEEN A DICK THAT SMALL, and i thought i had it bad becuz i’m obese and lets just say my rolls cover alot of my what nots, but DAMN that dude with the 2 inch penis makes me look like a FUCKING missel and mine is just 6.5 inches lol
It is important to note that there are many factors involved with measuring penis length. The temperature, time since last ejaculation, time of day, blood flow, stress, etc. I have measured everywhere from 5.5 to 7 inches, I average out to 6. Then with the everyone lies rule that makes me 7.5 to 8
thanks for the most honest article i’ve read about cock size in recent memory. more guys need to put the real deal - and all our insecurities about it - out there. im come in right about six. i know that’s average. but when you get online - between porn and the little white lies - it’s easy to imagine a normal dick is freakishly small. i’ve driven myself crazy with this at times…
Thoughts about the “black guys are bigger” meme that also permeates online cruising?
well. since I’m a SizeQueen. size of course matters for me. ;P
Obese gay man
There are two things I never want to hear again. The first is “nice dick” and the second is “its to big.” I know I’m bigger than almost everyone already, so instead of “nice dick”, tell me what you want me to do with it. If a guy says he can take anything, it would be nice if he really want’s to try. And, if I decide you are going to be that lucky guy who tops me, (every five years or so), take advantage of it so I can enjoy it for a change!