The porn blowjob, as we know it today, was originated in the mid-’80s for film and photo. It has almost nothing to do with an actual blowjob. It’s most closely related to the ad model who stands poised with a perfectly formed dollop of tooth paste centered across the bristles of a never-before-used brush, smiling at the camera with already-spotless teeth.
Aside from all the normal fireworks, the tension is the appealing part — the tempting nature of the glistening product, mere moments from use.
As this principal applies to the penis, it is of utmost importance that none of the “product” be obscured, or minimized by any of the numerous possible unflattering angles. Even when a model is bold enough to actually insert the cock into his mouth, he’s most likely to let it jut into his cheek before he’d dream of gagging on the thing and hiding it’s length in the process.
The truth is that receiving a “porn blowjob” in one’s private life is an undesirable thing, most readily likened to having one’s penis inspected by the dull teeth of a playful, well-meaning baby hippopotamus. Erections under these circumstances are entirely dependent on chemical intervention or a psychological condition.
Many models I’ve known rely on a combination of substances and a ninja-like power of concentration in order to persuade themselves into a mental space where they can believe that what is happening below their waistline is an erotic thing long enough for someone to get the shot.
Contrast all this showmanship, for fun, to manuals I’ve read for straight women on how to spice up their oral techniques and keep their husbands entertained. My favorite tips were: “try wearing soft mittens as you stimulate the scrotum” and “hum something repetitive in your alto range; this provides thrilling short-wave vibrations.”
I have a feeling that I’d have a niche market on my hands if I filmed the above. Any suggestions, name-wise, for my new genre of mitten-porn?
© 2008, Steve Task. All rights reserved. Nightcharm.com
Mitten Munchers? Mittjob? Mitts and Bits? Mitts and Balls? Mitten Men? The Catcher’s Mit?
Fuzzing- the slang term for sexual encounters and fetishism revolving around and centering on warm woolen things knitted by the participant’s grandmother.
“While wearing the mittens I received for Christmas, John and I engaged in some serious fuzzing. I rubbed his scrotum, not once, but twice with my mitten-clad hand.”
And then there’s the pull-out to get the cum shot porn fuck. Ewww — gives me the shivers. I guess if you insist on bareback that’s the safe(r) way to go, but it contravenes the natural impulse, which is to plant your seed deeeep.
Sometimes I think there’s a whole generation out there, educated by porn, who think pulling out is how you do it.
I’ve heard of “tongue in cheek” but “cock in cheek”? Get out the bandaids!
Smitten Mittens
No Glove, No Love
Velvet Glove
Glove Love
… and lastly, Horatio’s Gentleman’s Apparel and Entertainment
Mitten porn – Grandma’s Erotica
Ew. I can’t imagine anyone seriously letting me bring a mitten anywhere near their balls. Nor would I want to either. Bleah.
Wet, sweat, skin, fingers and tongue. That’s just fine.
Btw, doesn’t that model in the first shot look an awful lot like one of the guys on CSI Miami? o.O;
I was really into that first photo – both the cock and the receiver – until I realized that the guy’s pubes are shaved. Ugh.
I’D GIVE ANYTHING FOR SOMEONE TO ”RETRAIN” ME IN THE ART OF SUCKING A GUY’S HARD COCK and down ‘tween the scrotum…which was such a delirously pleasureable romp! No shav
I like this site will one you guys email me
I vote for the “Mitt Romney”
Sometimes I think there’s a whole generation out there, educated by porn, who think pulling out is how you do it.
I’m sure of it. The number of guys who think it’s sexy to moan “oh yeah suck that cock boy” and “take it, yeah, take it” every few seconds…it’s depressing.
Almost as depressing as those who wonder why you don’t moan in delight when they mimic port-BJs – the quick in-out with loose lips, the lick-flicking around with the tongue, the thing where they basically hold the head in their mouth. While expecting you to stay rock hard like on the video they learnt from. Gah.
There is nothing more satisfying than sucking a big, hard cock all the way to cum! Then have him go in my ass until he cums again!
What kind of porn are you guys watching? I see a lot of deep throating and a lot of other stuff that is fun in real life, like sucking the head and licking the underside and playing with the sensitive spot. Really, you guys are watching bad porn!