Jacking off. Wanking. Strangling the Kitten.
Call it what you may. It still leads to the same predestined end: the load blast, our nation’s greatest natural resource.
Allow me to extol but a few of its many virtues:
It’s Slangy! More so than the actual dick itself, the money shot inspires countless nicknames:
Splooge, Man Chowder, Hot Man Mustard, Dong Water, Donut Glaze, Spunk, Number 3, Population Paste, Gentleman’s Relish, Skeet, Load, Man Fluid, Penis Butter, Manthrax, Gizzum, Love Juice, Man Cream, Spew, Seed, Baby Gravy, Pearl Necklace, La Leche, Jizz, Wad, Pimp Juice, Baby Batter, Nut and Man Jam.
As other body fluids go, blood is the more vital, but though it may spew like a fountain in horror films, how many sobriquets has it earned?
Tears are poetic, yet still one-name wonders. And lymph? Please! Back of the line.
It’s Dynamic! Upon reaching climax, semen is thrust outward at ten miles per hour. Nothing beats either spraying all over your own face or dousing that flexing dumb guy who wants to buy your term paper all the way from across the room.
Unless you’re Horst Shultz, holder of the world record for long-distance ejaculation at an astounding eighteen feet, nine inches.
Bravo to Horst, who coincidentally also claims the title for tallest man (twelve feet, four inches) and has presumably laid numerous wives to rest.
They died in ecstasy.
It’s Profound! Where is Disney’s Travels of The Tadpoles documentary complete with folksy narration by Morgan Freeman already?
Sure, penguins are cute and gay, but our little wrigglers convey true pathos of their own.
An average spurt contains forty to six hundred million swimmers, making up only about three percent of actual semen. These determined bastards then haul ass like cliff-diving lemmings through the vaginal canal to fertilize a waiting egg.
I mean, if that’s your thing.
Maybe they just crash like so many beached whales upon the welcoming shores of your hunky personal trainer’s lips. Whatev. Their life cycle ends in only a few days and of the millions who begin the journey, a mere handful will survive the distance to penetrate the egg. Or end up hurled into a molten lake of stomach acid as they’re washed down with a vodka stinger.
The point is, it’s beautiful, IMAX-ready, and just begging for a Celine Dion theme song.
It’s Enigmatic! Stop and ponder that there’s a microscopic society of Snorks inhabiting your inseam that dies and is reborn in the amount of time that elapses between Britney’s public blunders of-the-moment.
Maybe it’s the biological grandeur of it all or just the Rohypnol taking effect, but that deserves some existential rumination.
In one sense it’s cosmic, our bodies housing a hyper-efficient and marvelous word, mirroring galaxies of distant stars and tailed comets hurtling across the void.
In another it’s deeply terrestrial, one single sperm cell following the path of our very first incarnation that dragged itself from the primordial swamp and set out into an unknown landscape proliferated with untold dangers.
It’s the ultimate allegory for Humankind’s very place in the universe.
So think about that, because my head hurts and now I have a nosebleed.
It’s Immortal! The Pop Shot can rightly lay claim to being the movies’ greatest and most enduring special effect. It requires virtually no technical preparation aside from a quick hit of Viagra and some encouraging slapping.
You don’t need a massive budget to pull it off. Unlike Stop Motion or CGI, it hasn’t had to adapt in the slightest to stay edgy and relevant.
While King Kong swatting down biplanes from atop his spire or Chuck Heston parting the Red Sea are still breath-taking milestones, it’s the sight of Peter North’s volcanic eruptions that we can watch over and over again and never tire of.
From Gang Bang Bukkake to Oral Cum Shots, loads a’ flyin’ are the sole film feat that be described as “ropey” and still hit the mark.
“The point is, it’s beautiful, IMAX-ready, and just begging for a Celine Dion theme song.” – - True. Oh so true!
Jesus! I love those photographs — truly beautiful. I sing the body cumlectric! Great article. Made me smile.
Never before has such a beautiful thing been said for baby-batter.
Population Paste!
BWAHAAHHAHAHAAAHAHAAA!
I don’t get why they call it Number 3!
Urine #1 – Defecating #2…..
…swallowing #3.
And then there’s injaculation. Ahhhhhh….
This was really more thoughtful and educated then I thought it was going to be. It was a delight to read and enjoy.
me and my boyfriend are both gay. we love cum expecially each others. what really gets us fired up and having sex is seeing other guys cum. these pictures are beautiful and we love them. expecially the dicks hehe
i would just love 2 see gays go at it live i would play all the mess they make and let them xplore my vague while i played with their thing
I love the last grey and white picture its just so beautiful almost makes me tear up LOL
i liked the second omne xD
hehe Im bisexal
nowww i really need cum in my mouth xD
heheh
Weird, I’m gay as a goose, yet I hate Cum. I’d be happy if there was no such thing as cum or pre-cum and we could orgasm with nothing coming out. To me it’s messy, sloppy, sticky, and I greatly fear it because of it’s ability to carry the HIV virus. I wish I liked it. I guess I like the feeling of it coming out of me, but then there’s the clean up, and the fact that it takes forever for it all to come out. Cripes, 10 minutes after coming, more can still leak out.
I sometimes wonder how I can be gay and hate cum. Well, I’m sure I’d hate the fluids coming out of women too. Guess I just dislike all bodily fluids.
Now the penis itself, on the other hand, is a work of art.
JH, the rest of us need people like you. Because everyone likes to be cummed on but few want to be the one who does it. And most people are strangely turned on by that guy who seems agressive before sex and disinterested after, you know, the guy who’s cocky and dickish (we want to hook up with those types though we probably woudln’t want to date them). There’s generally a lack of authentic callousness in sex; most guys end up faking a dominant streak and it doesn’t work. So feel proud of your unusual disintrest in being the subject of another guy’s liquid domination. You’re a commodity.
Strangling the kitten? :O
luv sucking, but hate the taste and smell of cum
Never used to like the taste or smell either, but now i cant get enough, wether it’s in my mouth, on my face, or shot all over me. It’s a beautiful thing.
I luv sucking a cock and luv getting the cum to squirt directly into my throat. I could do that all day and then thank the guys for giving me a belly full of it. I wish I had a friend who I had on hand to suck off several times a day and who would cum for me every time like Peter North.
I want a big hard cock
This may sound silly but I stopped smoking and drinking coffee just so my cum wouldn’t be bitter. I eat fruits everyday and drink a few extra glasses of pineapple juice if I know I’m getting some later on that night. Its like foreplay to me as I’m getting ready for my guy by making sure my cum is sweet for him. I figure that if it tastes good – he’ll be back for more.
The ultimate for me is to be standing over him and watching my cum shoot out of my dick and into his willing mouth while he jerks off and cums. My perfect partner wants my cum so bad that he can’t help but get off when he tastes it and greedily licks it up and sucks out the last few drops- at least that’s my fantasy.
I like watching a guy play with and eat my cum but I don’t have any interest to even touch his. I think its like JH said, maybe its the HIV factor that turns me off. I know, busting down a guy’s throat isn’t exactly safe sex but I know I’m clean (tested twice a year, safe top, never even tasted another man’s cum) and if he’s willing and wants it, hell yes, I’ll step up to the plate.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect him to but that doesn’t mean I won’t ask and be really really happy when he opens wide…
,,it was great…haha i really surprised,,,
i love dick
i love cum so much that it scares me sometimes. what really turns me on is a sexy set of abs. thats all i need to wrap my lips around his cock…kinda shallow i know but i cant help it.
u know what i hate about straight porn too? how come during all the ending cumshots the guy does all the work? if i was the girl getting cummed on i would be the one stroking his cock making sure to get every last drop…u should never let them miss either…always gets me kinda angry
the last picture is fuckin hot
Great post. I liked learning new slang terms for my favorite fluid. Some of them I’ve never heard before. Gentleman’s relish!!
I love cum. Mostly the smell — and that pearlescent look and feel. When my man comes before I do, I love it. The smells turns me on and thrills me like no other: cloroxy and nutty — the smell of masculinity drained down to it’s essence.
Funny how things change over the years…..when I was younger….cum was just the “messy result” of a very pleasurable sexual experience. Where it went…didnt matter…just pump it out of there as fast and as often as you can..was my motto.
Then something happened…I was introduced to my “Bi” side….and I discovered that I actually enjoyed the taste of cum….and that it could actually be used as an exquisitly sweet form of sexual torture!!
I found that I could orally manipulate another male…into such a sexual frenzy..that he would actually be BEGGING me to let him cum…and the reward for me, was in seeing the look of sheer lust and amazement in his eyes…when he suddenly realized that not only was I going to let him cum…I was not going to let go of his cock until I had swallowed every last drop of that tasty fluid!!!
i love cum
i love wen my boyfrend cums all over my ass then licks it off.
I also love wen someone sucks my big hard cock and they suck up every last drop of my jizz x
My goodness! The first photo could be a commercial for Giecko. It looks just like the lizzard!
So, sorry. I guess that it was the 2nd photo. Oh well, whatever, it seems pretty obvious once you see it.
Married. So terribly miss the taste of a mans long hard muscle. Had a friend with11 inches. Learned to deep throat on him. Never could get him off. Lord knows I tried. Love to swallow, knowing the dangers does not seem to bother me. However I did not quit smoking until I had a quadruple bypass . Live and learn. Near death experience can be an eye opener. You guys keep shooting and I will keep dreaming.
Great site. The men are great.
Happy Holidays. Hope all get what they ask for.
i’m a celebrity, can’t tell you who, i’ll be ruined, but i am a very famous celebrity and i’m gay oh lord, the pain of sex with women is terribly unbearable
Is this a gay site? Where is the pussy?
i love cum i love it
i love jizz in my ass and on my face and suck dick and fucking a dick!!!!!
If it’s thin, salty, and watery that means the guy has recently ejaculated. As recently as last night or hours ago. If it’s thick, “sweetish” and more pronouncedly chloroxy and almondy, the guy’s last ejaculation was weeks ago; months, even. Is this true? Usually I’m too overwhelmed to run a quick, intuitive chemistry-test in my head via my tongue to tell the difference, because as soon as I feel those jets shoot down my throat in rapid succession, I lose control and cum myself. The hours of silent bliss afterwards usually make me forget why I needed to find out in the first place, but in the morning I whine to myself and plan anew to keep a safe distance from the orgasmic danger zone, let him come first, regurgitate some of it back towards the tongue, and tell once and for all if its thin and salty or thick and sweet. I want to know where else that dick has been or, worse, who else has been enjoying his jizz. I think Madonna’s album—the one with the sticky title—playing in the background would help. A friend of mine thinks I’m being an ungrateful bitch for not enjoying what for him is a perfect mo life (”A tsunami could come any day now and I would drown in sea water ALONE and you complain of a little saltiness in his come!?”). Anyone out there sympathetic to my plight or are all of you loveless bastards out there in agreement with my friend?
there’s nothing better than the taste of hot cum shot from a huge thick cock
Cum is such an erotic commodity, im straight but im mesmerized by the stuff! (*~*)
I just love cum. Whether its in my ass or down my throat, I can’t get enough. My holes are always open for hot cum. Fuck me, feed, and breed me. I’m a true CUMSLUT.
gay porn . UMPHH!
i’d like that anyyday!
#3
fuck me up the bum
All I have to say is, I’m a cum whore – I love it, I can’t get enough of it. My boyfriend and I went 5 rounds the other day just so I could lick it all up. He’s got a massive cock – thank goodness, and it’s so much fun to suck down his jizz. I love the taste of it, and keep it in my mouth a few extra seconds just so I can taste it longer.
i luv cum….. when i suck a cock and my mouth fills with cum , it is really hot ……. we use to have threesome and all of us try to have cum of other two …. i luv to suck off and have cum of two into my mouth , mouth full of cum , nothing better than that…!!!
great action shots
Love these shots. Great little thing on cum too. I have been wanting to suck cock for some time now and I have always wanted to swallow down every drop of his cum. I’ve yet to have the experience of feeling another man’s cock in my mouth. I really hope I get to some day because reading all the stuff that was posted here has really gotten me hard as a rock and I wish I had a guy here with me so I could cum down his throat.
Oh God! you guy’s really know how to turn someone on! Golly-Gee!
i have a large dick. but damn i aint as big as him holy hell 12 inches . im only 10 inches
In response to ML remarks,
“Love these shots. Great little thing on cum too. I have been wanting to suck cock for some time now and I have always wanted to swallow down every drop of his cum. I’ve yet to have the experience of feeling another man’s cock in my mouth. I really hope I get to some day because reading all the stuff that was posted here has really gotten me hard as a rock and I wish I had a guy here with me so I could cum down his throat.”
You seem like a drunk straight guy. If you’re gay, definately get the dick as soon as you can. If you’re straight and you have a girlfriend… not sure what to say.
But I’m straight yet get very aroused by ejaculating penis, so maybe not so straight… only I don’t think about men except dick and balls, I don’t feel romantic towards them and I don’t want to tongue their asses, but I love doing that to females.
So maybe I’m a lesbian in a guy’s body.
Well anyways I DID get to suck dick, something I had been wondering about. My friend kept telling me the jacuzzi was ready. He knew I used to always get stoned and fucking drunk out of my mind.
Finally we went out there and after a couple times (his girlfriend lived with us– we later discovered she was doing porn, whatever) he brought over his weird male friend who is always paying chicks for blowjobs.
I had always wanted to play truth or dare with men, and I was all fucked up so I initiated it, and we got naked.
Then we dared each other to suck each other’s (so far) soft dicks.
It was weird, it’s rubbery. My friend said, “Taste like gummi bears.”
Then we dared other things, and the one guy went home I forget why, but I went with my friend in my bedroom, I said, lemme suck your cock and he said okay and I said do you want to be standing or laying down and he said laying down and he said, where are those porno stories– for some reason someone gave me porno stories which made me laugh and not erotic at all to me but he said he would like to read them, because it always got him off.
So (this is the short story, mind you) I start sucking him, and it’s fun, you know, sex is fun. It’s nothing like when I go down on a woman. When I eat a woman, I feel like I’m home, I feel very worshipful and adoring.
With him, I was just like, cool, I am sucking a dick finally and I am going to make this thing squirt in my mouth.
Also I am going to deep throat.
So I did all that, and it’s amazing how hard those things are. Actually hurts your throat.
He’s slightly smaller than me, about 5.75″ to my 6″ so I pretty much got to see what it was like to suck my own dick.
I sucked him real good, and massaged his balls, I really ate that thing up but it was all technical, like the first few times I was with women– like I sorta wasn’t there.
Anyways he’s reading this thing and I am drunk off my ass, I know I’m going to make him cum real soon, because I am working that cock, and he says something like, “Here it comes,” funny thing to say I think, and his hard cock is in my mouth and it shoots cum in me, and it’s warm and it has the flavor of cum, which I know from my own cum, having tested it, because you know, all these women who I fantasize about cumming in their mouths– I should at least know what my own cum tastes like, well it doesn’t taste bad at all and it’s not traumatic, and a lot of it drips down, I’m no “grab every drop” type person, and it’s in my mouth and I’m still jerking him furiously without thinking, and he’s like, whoa, easy, because it’s hurting so I relax and I can’t remember what happened after this, I assume I kept sucking him only more gently– I sorta blacked out here, my intention was to gently suck the rest of the cum out of his cock but I don’t remember, only I got some cum on his hair and it was also all over my face even though he was laying down and I was wiping my face and his hair, when we heard his “girlfriend” come home, so I grabbed a towel (we were in my room) and I quickly wiped my face (it was in my beard, and everything) and I threw it at him and said something like, “Dry yourself off, quick!” And we were both scrounging around trying to get our clothes on and wipe the goddamn cum off.
The crux of this story, is that next day I was at work.
And much more sober.
And I kept remembering it, the event, him ejaculating in my mouth, and I kept thinking… “I let a man ejaculate into my mouth and I tasted his semen.”
I was not excited, I was scared.
I kept remembering the taste of his seed, spurting into my mouth, and I kept thinking, “I let a man, a close friend, actually, ejaculate into my mouth and I tasted his innards, which were designed to make a baby, only it went into my mouth and I tasted it and swallowed it.”
I felt this very weird intimacy– like– should I know another man’s balls, that much?
Whereas with women it’s usually like, “Yeah! Fuck yeah! I tasted her insides! I made her cum on my face, that was awesome!”
And I feel like I’m on top of the world.
Also, a difference worth noting is that with a woman, it feels beautiful when she cums in my mouth, but with a guy it feels like a biological thing I made happen.
We did this twice, I have no idea how. The 2nd time was when his girlfriend appeared.
The whole thing started when he showed me how he and his friend were taking cellphone picks of their dicks and he showed me the one of his erect penis and I said, “I would suck that thing in a heartbeat.”
One time we were watching porn, this is highly unusual, but I got very aroused, also I was drunk, this was before I sucked his dick (twice) and I said, “I could give you a blowjob if you want,”
I was all fuckin drunk and shit.
He scrunched his face and said, “You know, I would, but __ (girlfriend) is due to be home pretty soon.”
It was after that when he started telling me the jacuzzi was ready, after that when his friend came over and at one point the three of us were naked in my room on my bed, stroking dicks, after daring each other, but it was weird– because I was the only drunk person there, neither of them drank– they just got high on sex, I guess.
And I would say these things like, “If I suck your dick you have to suck mine,” and they would do it, half-heartedly. Also they both smelled like ass when I went down on them; I had a very healthy diet, I smoked pot, and my ass was sweet; I know, because I had sampled it a number of times to make sure. I didn’t smell like them– we were all clean, we’d been in the jacuzzi and one of them obviously had soaped his genitals well. But it was like they ignored their asses– typical homophobic, non-drunk “straight” guys. I smelled like sexy women, but they smelled nasty, because they don’t eat right, and they don’t wash their asses. It was weird.
So I would like to suck cock again, but only as sex. I’m not having sex with women right now because I am an alcoholic and I don’t want to mess with their lives. I would be happy sucking cock, only I want to just suck the cocks of a bunch of strangers, never see their faces or interact with them in any other real way.