Gentlemen, your body is a follicular battlefield.
The male identity conundrum of the moment is body waxing. When to do it? How much is too much? Should we even be bothering at all? Is the aesthetic pressure placed for centuries upon the female form striking back at us like a livid rattlesnake clutched by the tail?
The full-throttle nether region wax — dubbed “the Boyzilian” in beauty industry vernacular — is not unlike the Gaza Strip: sacred ground for those male specimens stridently opposed to intimate grooming and an area destined for occupation by those keen on altering the lay of the land. The struggle for manly self-definition may at last be reaching a tipping point; more men are apparently opting for yea rather than nay.
David Beckham — he of the blissfully unthinking visage and Neoclassical physique — and his recent underwear-clad Armani fashion spread have only made the trend that much more discernible. The footballer’s silky bikini line has accrued as much scrutiny as his cod piece-worthy groin. With the heartthrob-of-the-moment and other depilitated notables caught in the flash bulb going flush below their equators, salons are reporting an influx of men from all walks of life following suit. Not just your uptown Patrick Batemanesque power brokers either. Construction workers and other hands-on types are reported to be the most surprising converts.
You can blame Le Beckham for many crimes against humankind: standing at the center of an inanely overhyped Camelot-inspired media craze, being functionally monosyllabic on his most lucid day, wedding the Wasp Woman whose only remotely legitimate claim-to-fame is being the second least-talented member of a defunct girl group or naming a child after the New York borough where it was conceived. However, he is not the smoking gun of in the Manscaping craze and hardly its sole collaborator.
The catch-all phrase Metrosexual may have become a permanent part of the lexicon in just the last few years, but bikini-line artistry dates back at least fifteen. Bodybuilding and physique modeling set the stage and gay porn ultimately opened Pandora’s box. Virtually every model from box cover darling to second-string scene filler during the early- and mid-90s had a clipped-down frontal landing strip (now known as “the Speedo”) and many were already sporting baby-smooth fault lines down the back. You now see them turning up regularly on the hetero side of the industry — men just as buffed and polished as their asses saluting the camera.
This wouldn’t be the first cachet pioneered by gays in urban/underground settings that was poached by the Starbucks and IKEA straight crowd years down the line and suddenly branded cutting edge by a public who’s never been to Chelsea, the Castro or West Hollywood. It isn’t mainstream celebrity and fashion that are dictating our modern standards of beauty anymore; Porn Glam is the new ideal and its run-off can be seen at every mall, club, beach and resort.
Gay culture has always moved lock-step with Colt and Tom of Finland by nature of its ambivalence to the cuddly Kewpie Doll sex symbols (from Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello to the sprites of High School Musical) straight culture manufactures like so many Chicklets destined to lose their flavor when they either get old or reveal some clandestine whorishness.
Sure Beckham’s Fertile Crescent has been cultivated. Why not? His whole look is cribbed from Genre or a Queer As Folk episode.
The trick with any form of manscaping is moderation. A basic, functional trim job below the belt that’s clean but not too tailored is the way to go. You don’t want to look like you’ve had your legs up in stirrups all day while some stylist named Capri hot waxes your pelvis and calls you “Sweetie” as she lets fly with the cruelest yank.
Don’t lose all the chest hair, just clip it back a little. Shaved legs and arms are needless. Facial hair and sideburns that get too elaborately sculpted summon up the worst flashbacks to Beverly Hills 90210 and Color Me Badd. The dreaded tweezed Jean Harlow comma- or arch-shaped eyebrows don’t work at all. On anyone. A man really just needs two.
Maybe the Metrosex look is here to stay or maybe men will tire of the upkeep. Plastic surgeons and hair replacement specialists are already beginning to offer the converse for men who either regret years of painful electrolysis and laser treatments or who just envy the studlier Tom Selleck look.
Body hair transplants aren’t merely for the scalp anymore and are becoming the modern version of the fifteenth century merkin. They’re now being used to thicken, replace or seed hair on the chest, arms and pelvis.
A recent episode of Nip/Tuck — starring Julian McMahon, not only TV’s most inveterate metrosex slut, but the actor who probably above all undergoes the most maintenance for his constant nude scenes — featured the procedure performed on a fortysomething kept man at the behest of his geriatric sugar mommy.
And so the modern man’s conception of his own beauty evolves. Is his body becoming more fluid and free-form, less afraid of being labeled vain and effeminate, able to seamlessly transpose from one type to another?
The manly stars of yesteryear often held up as the last strongholds of salt-of-the-earth masculinity weren’t so immune to the far-gazing Eye the Beholder themselves. John Wayne, Burt Lancaster, Charlton Heston, Gary Cooper, Robert Mitchum and Dean Martin are all rumored or known to have had face lifts, eye lifts, nose jobs and hair pieces, some of them quite early on in their careers.
If hair removal in gay porn is any indication, men might very well opt to shift appearances like so many chameleons. 90s stars like Tom Katt, Blue Blake, Tom Chase, Anthony Gallo and the late Steve Regis all helped foment the full body wax and vacillated from razed-down to hirsute from one video to the next, as does many a current model based on the audience studios are catering to. A genuine looker can wield or cast down the razor at will.
The Millennial Man: bowed yet not bent.
bald bodies may be fun to look at, but for a romp in the hay, give me fur any day!
I don’t disagree with your premise Shawn and I totally respect your opinion. Having explored this conversation with a lot of men over the past few years however, both straight and gay, it’s become evident that there’s never going to be a consensus about what’s “right” or “wrong” when it comes to body hair. There are personal opinions and that’s about it, yes? I think David once did a commentary here about pubic shaving and he delivered quite a blistering opinion on the matter. I smiled when I read it because I realized he was speaking for himself. Opinions are great!
I think body hair, like the hair on our heads, is a totally personal choice. Some guys like their hair down to their shoulders and some guys like it shaved completely off. Both looks are hot and so are a lot of other styles. It seems like we’re willing to cut guys a lot more slack with their head hair than we are with their body hair though. I keep reading things like, “What a pussy - no pubes? What? Are you trying to look like a pre-pubescent 10 year old boy or something?” That always makes me laugh because we’re looking at a rock-hard niner stretched up across rippling abs - and somebody thinks that looks like a 10 year old pre-pubescent boy?
We don’t berate guys who shave their heads so why the berating of guys who shave their cocks & balls? Trimming it up, shaving it all gone, shaping, whatever. I just can’t help but thinking that it’s such a personal choice, and sometimes just a momentary exploration, that it doesn’t make much sense to be critical of some other guy’s hair of the day choice. But wow have I read and heard some bitchy opinions on the matter over the years.
In the end I’ve never turned away from a guy’s cock because I didn’t like the way he did his pubes or because his belly was waxed or his back was furry. (i ain’t stupid) I like the fact that we have the freedom to do whatever the hell we want with our body hair. In my case anyway, it always grows back and that means that if I’m not down with the trim or the wax or the shave the hair will be back in no time.
Vive la difference, and the furry and the bald and everything in between! You decide on the packaging - I just want the cock inside the box.
Lack of confidence in the way one’s body hair is groomed is the biggest turn-off, for me. Any mention of it, or excuse about why it’s such-and-such way…
I’ve been with guys who had such a hang-up over it’s presence or absence or current-versus-preferred length that it was clear the sex wasn’t going to be what it should have been.
Shaved body hair is decidedly un-sexy and quite a waste of perfectly good testosterone. I agree some folks need to tame the “urban jungle” below the beltline, but for the most part, unless you’re an Iraqi terrorist, you’re not going to be TOO hairy to shag without much problem.
Smooth guys creep me out, much in the same way that holding a baby does. I’m just not sure what to do with them aside from giving them back to their mommies. Especially if they poop on me. And it’s happened with both age groups.
Giveme a bald, plucked and bare shaft, ballsack, and pube triangle. It’s all Ill accpet.
That’s the second time I’ve heard the term “manscaping” this week; the first time was from a very masculine, short stalky guy in the gym on Monday. I don’t think I’d ever heard it before that.
I’m for all natural. As a fan of science, I’ll say that evolution has worked for millions of years to link health and attractiveness so that females would choose the most attractive (and therefore healthiest) mates and ensure the continuation of the species. It’s no longer our goal to mate or reproduce, but we can trigger the best response in mates if we make ourselves as healthy as possible and do little else. We’ve evolved to have hair in exactly the best place to get that message across - If you’re a shaggy bear or completely hairless, go for it. Chances are the hair grows naturally in some form or pattern that someone, somewhere, will find attractive.
I can’t think of any situatition in which a cluster of ingrown hairs and razor burn pimples on your stomach would be an indicater of good health, and it never feels good to rub up against. Go for natural!
It really just reflects the obsession our culture has with appearance and youth. Stop dragging us down boys, be happy with what you have. A little trim is a good thing, but fully shaved goods look so absurd I have to laugh.
I hear these generalizations all the time about how unappealing shaved men are. But I’ve got a muscular, well-defined build, and really nice, tanned skin, and not once have I been tossed out of bed because I shave. In fact, it’s the hyper-masculine bears who yell the loudest about the importance of being natural who can’t get enough of it.
what about the shaved armpits i’ve started to see on some male porn models? yuk! what’s with that? it’s not a fetish for me but sometimes the sight of a man’s hairy armpit can be very erotic so if he’s shaved it bare, it looks REALLY weird- i mean, if there’s any personal grooming habit strictly associated with chics, it’s shaving their armpits, right?
it’s the hyper-masculine bears who yell the loudest about the importance of being natural who can’t get enough of it.
I’m neither hyper-masculine nor a bear, and although I will admit some guys are pretty to look at shaved and muscled in pics, I’d never cruise one let alone go home with one. Good example of cruisability: Carl Hardwick shaved–not a chance. Carl Hardwick natural–Most definitely.
It’s just all about preference, really.
All I ask is that you keep it neat. I don’t want to have to fight through a rain forest to get to your dick. Nor do I want to be gagging on your hair when I should be gagging on your dick. Think in terms of a halo, a nice ring at the base is all you need in my opinion
The fascination with Beckham is unfathomable to me, I see him as short, effete with a high pitched voice a body that is usually digitally enhanced (though not always). As for folks claiming he has increased sales of underwear. Remember most men’s underwear is purchased by straight women for their husbands /boyfriends. Gay men are a small part of the high fashion underwear market. Among my gay male friends they all have fetishes concerning which underwear they wear, boxers, knit boxer briefs, low rise briefs (Calvin Klein), the Munsingwear girdle type, jock straps and even men’s’ granny panties (full-rise jockeys) and on and on. Manscaping is an idea originated by Falcon Studios for sex in the plastic age of Swatch watches and teased hair on “men”. Looking back at the 80s era porn, it was the precursor to the LaRue brand of non-erotic mechanical sex videos that flood the market now. And guess which fat drag queen owns most of the gay porn majors these days?
God…
What I wouldn’t give to have a movie where the characters are believable, maybe actually even in love with each other if acting is too much to ask. Maybe even a decently written script with actual plot. And sex that is authentic, not a million different camera angles with a million different train into tunnel shots.
I want to see men making love with sizzle.
A lot of the sex out there is just…mechanical sex videos as ggreen says…joyless, souless, waxed, plucked, shaved, oiled flesh engines with any of a dozen things they say (or grunt) as if someone pulled their chatty cathy cord.
*zip* Yeah, oh yeah…
*zip* Suck that cock…yeah.
*zip* lick my balls…yeah…whoo.
*zzZzzzzzsnore*
A man with a shaved or waxed body is like a cake with the icing scraped off. Men grow body and pubic hair for a reason and it’s a sign of their physical maturity. I like nothing better than to see a built, well muscled man with chest, armpit, belly and pubic hair. Why do body builders suddenly go bald from the neck down? I for one feel that men should be comfortable with their body hair however much or little they have.
ALL THIS BODY SHAVING,FUCKIN DUMB.when i was in fourth grade,i had hairy legs,the boys in the locker and physical ed. LAUGHED,and made me feel like a freak because they were hairless.so,i fuckin shaved my legs,FOR A WHILE,WHAT A FUCKIN DRAG,BUMPS,IT HURTS,IT’S VERY BAD ON THE SKIN,IT RUINS THE MALE MYSTIQUE.since a kid,i always got off on a hairy mans chest,sure,if you bodybuilder competing,SHAVE,if you must,and don’t you find that wierd and QUEER,they can’t shave all over,so their “ASSHOLE STRAIGHT VAIN BUDDIES SHAVE EM”,bet i’d laugh seein that.what,WHAT THE FUCK HAVE WE DONE,MEN SHAVING ALL OVER,ALL THE TIME,WORSE THAN WOMEN,MORE VAIN AND STUPID THAN WOMEN WHO HAVE TO DO IT,although i know allot who don’t and this beckham person,who the fuck is that,is not attractive to me ONE BIT,AND THAT “WIFE”,SHE’S A CHINLESS,EGOTISTICAL,NOTHING,GET RID OF EM,AND GIVE ME A HAIRY CHESTED MAN ANY FUCKIN DAY
wait… which spice girl was less talented than POSH!?
1) I shaved my chest when I did a bodybuilding show a number of years ago…which meant a solid month of constant itching when it grew back. Not fun, not worth it.
2) I slept once with a hot stripper with a perfectly smooth body…but discovered that, skin to skin, he was covered with razor stubble. Worth it, but…
“wait… which spice girl was less talented than POSH!?”
That would be Gerri.
oh come on! ginger was clearly the “spiciest” and the only one who was even vaguely a spice. i have a feeling posh could have left at any time and nobody would have noticed. the fact that the group basically crumbled after ginger left, well… enough said.
I’m a staunch supporter of 63 million years of mammalian evolution — love that hair and love those tits (well, on women…the nips are great on men, though)!
Musclemen shave because muscles look bigger and more defined on a hairless body. Maybe gay men do it for the same reason, or because of the association with musclemen.
Similarly, if you shave your pubes a bit, it makes your cock look bigger.
Er, that’s all I have to contribute on this subject.