Straight dick in your mouth and ass. Does that turn you on more than if I said gay dick?
I love the weird meta-appeal of gay porn when the performers are advertised as straight. The obvious reasons are people want what they can’t have. Some would argue the culprit is self-hatred and negative stereotypes about the masculinity of gay men. Regardless of these social neuroses, ‘gay for pay’ should be harmless fantasy.
What’s wrong with straight guys fucking men for money? Do we really expect high ethical standards in the porn industry? Seriously, half the stuff you’re jacking off to is degrading and humiliating anyway. Broke Straight Guys is a site I keep thinking back to. I’m certain the gross desperation of such a premise is meant to be a vague slight against general heterosexuality. Can you imagine the outrage if there was a ‘broke gay guys’ website where homos were ordered to put peens in poons and eat vaginas with spoons? GLAAD would shit a horse dildo, i.e. how dare they exploit and victimize economically disadvantaged gay men into rejecting their true nature.
The very people coming down hard on ‘gay for pay,’ saying it’s exploitative and homophobic, are the same ‘mos intent on cultivating a gay identity placed in black and white contrast to heterosexuality, which is too simplistic, demonstrates the unspoken grudge against bisexuality, and is an ultimately fascist treatment of sexuality. It’s simply no fun.
They attack gay for pay, not because it sounds like prostitution, but because it shakes the political core of the gay movement. If sexuality is seen as so mutable or performative, it undermines the pretense our social battles fall under. That battle’s platform? That we are helpless victims to our attractions and everyone needs to coddle and pity us for all the negativity we’re surrounded by.
Back in January, Tyra Banks, goddess of abject absurdity, had an unenlightening discussion on her daytime talk show about men who go ‘gay for pay.’ Perennial bottom Kurt Wild (left and with Barrett Long‘s cock) sat before Tyra’s contorting facial expressions and movements (likely a pitiable case of tardive dyskinesia) on her cream-colored couch, clearly racked by nerves as he tried to explain to a room full of paranoid women with low self-esteem why his job involves cheating on his wife with men.
It was awkward. Painfully so. I really pitied him, because the show was stacked against him, like when a cheater is the opening guest on Jerry Springer. Everyone hates him. That was the problem with the whole episode. The timbre of the discussion was hideously homophobic. At one point a straight bartender who works in a gay bar said he refused a patron’s offer to have sex for $40,000. The audience burst into vigorous applause. I couldn’t tell if they were applauding the guy for not being a high-class prostitute or because he fought off the evil temptation to go gay.
I’ve heard arguments that Kurt Wild obviously isn’t straight, that he’s most likely bisexual at the most. Perhaps, but that sidesteps the fact that money really fucks with our sexual politics. Kurt has three kids to feed goddammit and making sandwiches at Subway just wasn’t cutting it (they fired him). When you have no marketable skills, charms, or abilities, your asshole is your best feature.
Let’s speculate that Kurt Wild actually is bi. The problem with that conjecture is that a lot of people hate bi guys. It’s a marketing disaster. It pisses off the gays, alienates straight men and makes straight women paranoid.
A couple months back my sister went on a few dates with a tall strapping soccer player, who just happened to be bi. She would come to me with her neuroses about it and her tone pissed me the fuck off. She said she didn’t like the idea of him being with a guy before being with her. Her reasoning stemmed from baseless fear of disease and sexual inferiority (because a man must know how to please him more). My sister broke it off yet got all pissy when I said I’d like a go at it.
Many women are threatened by the idea that a man who was attracted to them can be attracted to another man. It opens up a complex front in the battle of the sexes. On top of battling men in the workplace, in marriage, in public office, they’re battling gay men for the same bi men. My sister also had this irrational idea that there’s double the chance this guy would have cheated on her.
I’ll admit, bi guys used to get on my nerves, particularly if it was a guy I liked or a guy who had fucked me (the two are mutually exclusive). It would get under my skin to watch him flirt with girls. Competing with two genders was agonizing if I was trying to win his attention, or it was belittling if I had already been with him. It wasn’t fair to me that he could have fun with a guy and then turn around and be straight for the party or gay at the club. The flexibility I envied, the attention-whoring I loathed, but most of all, the side-stepping of my inflexible gay identity just made me mad.
These feelings are borne from envy and a gay brand of selfishness and coveting of objects of affection and the concept of black and white gayness. Tack on a tinge of heterophobic paranoia (‘his dick has been in a vagina and now it’s in my mouth’) and you’ve got full-blown hypocritical prejudice. Eventually I came to realize that I was acting like my sister, so I grew to accept this particular guy’s shotgun spray of sexual conquering.
I’m waltzing away from Kurt Wild’s gay-for-payness (so here’s another pic to bring me back on point), but you can see why it’s less messy for him to just say he’s straight. Bisexuality is like an infuriating Switzerland, neutral and passive to engaging in wars of boners and pussies. It perplexes those so comfortable with their mono-sexuality, like a two-dimensional being trying to envision three dimensions. And even if Kurt Wild said he was bi, people would cast doubt, saying that all his bottoming is a testament to him walking the ‘bi bridge’ to gaydom.
I imagine a prisoner exchange at the Korean Bridge of No Return: a disheveled bi man shuffling along the wood railing in tattered prison rags, armies of straight and gay on each side with rifles ready. Soon the man recedes into foggy gayness, one more queer returned to the motherland. Seriously though, if bi guys didn’t look like they were having a blast, I’d compare them to those of mixed-race heritage caught at the gestation of the modern civil rights movement.
Sean Kennedy, editor of The Advocate, was on the Tyra gay-for-pay episode too as a sort of scripted counter-point to all these evil men. He tried to hose these pesky gay-for-pay actors and opportunistic straight bartenders invading our gay homelands with their opportunistic role-playing for paychecks and tips. He came out with this ludicrous argument that it’s unfair for straight bartenders to deceive gay patrons and that only gay people should work in gay bars and gay porn.
Sean Kennedy is no Malcolm X, but he seemed to bizarrely channel his identitarian exclusivity. Tyra then co-opted his argument as the right attitude to take. The fact no one addressed is that gay bartenders — surprise — pretend to hit on guys for tips, too. Those gay bartenders would never fuck that squirrely Sean Kennedy, but they would still flirt with him to make him buy more drinks and tip graciously. Why does it make this whole miserable bar scene less enjoyable if the guy is straight? It should be the opposite, because a straight guy in a gay bar having fun demonstrates a much more adventurous personality than another jaded gay guy pouring his thousandth cosmopolitan. Deception shouldn’t be the critique here. Going to the bar is about in-the-moment socializing and entertainment, not introspective insight into the sexual politics of the man pouring my beer.
It’s the same with jacking off to gay porn. Gay porn stars often are not even remotely attracted to the guys they’re fucking. It’s not fucking real. It’s pretend. It’s for their livelihood, and for my boner. It shouldn’t matter if Kurt Wild, or Aaron James, or Wolf Hudson are straight, bi or gay. Chances are, as professional studio actors, they treat their film work as exactly that, work. And no one likes their job. If they say they do, they’re lying. Eventually you feel over-obligated, trapped, or bored. I see Kurt Wild and Aaron James, not as two guys who are sexually confused or deceiving a minority group, but as two guys who simply want to make money, something we American capitalists, gay or straight, should all feel solidarity with.
Rob Wolfsham hails from the glorious suburbs of Lubbock. Get to know Rob (and Lubbock) better by reading his blog Lubbock Blows. And then order up a copy of his Cleis Press debut: Boy Crazy: Coming Out Erotica.
© 2009 – 2010, Rob Wolfsham. All rights reserved. Nightcharm.com
I’m functionally bisexual – In high school, I had a LOT of sex with my girlfriend, and we both had a great time all through high school.
Then, when joined the Navy, I started having sex with guys. I found that I had a greater emotional attachment to guys on a romantic level. So, I made the switch, because, OBVIOUSLY, gay pride in the 70′s required me to declare myself all-one-way.
I’m currently in a male-male relationship (nineteen years now, and legally married in California), and on some level, I know that I could have a great time with a woman who really liked sex. Male or female, if somebody just lies there like a dead fish, I lose interest. Gimme some tramp action, any time!
While I was in the Navy, I discovered something basic and natural:
If you’re on a ship at sea for four months or so, with no women, there aren’t a lot of 100%-straight guys after all. One nelly gay man in my division told me he had played with 45 or so of the 60 guys in our division, and THEY were the ones initiating it. Social pressure kept ‘em 100% straight, and gonad pressure forced them to do what they had always fantasized about. The pendulum of desire was allowed to swing at last.
We’ve bought into the myth that you’re supposed to be 100% one-way-or-the-other-make-up-your-MIND-goddammit! That myth is dying fast. Younger folks aren’t so hung up about rigid roles, and the process is accelerating.
Gaydar is failing, because we’re getting less and less of that stooopid, old-style, monotone, stereotypical breeder male talk pattern. Men of all kinds are using their entire range of vocalisms, which used to be reserved for fags. Men are becoming a lot less wary about compliments from gay guys… I know, because I compliment the hell out of the many, many men that I’m friends with at the gym, giving feedback when they are getting results. They come back for more, because what male ego doesn’t appreciate honest external validation?
Craigslist is a paradise for people to be honest about what they want. An anthropologist doesn’t need to look very hard to see the pattern. We can’t pretend any more that the old either-or paradigm has any basis in fact. It’s time to let it go, forever.
TallestTop, I love what you are saying, but can’t help but feel that if I were locked for 6 months in a boat with Charlie’s Angels, I wouldn’t fuck them. I just don’t think I would get the same pleasure out of it. I’m 100% gay.
I think that’s what a lot of us get hung up on. Okay, assuming bisexuality exists (as a lot of gay guys will insist it does not), it would be possible for a whole lot of people to switch back and forth. And I do believe there are a lot of bi guys out there!
But if the guy in question were truly “straight” – something I think does exist, too – this just wouldn’t be so easy. I think most guys who “trade” are bisexual.
Oh, and in reference to the article – I have NEVER heard anybody say “ew this dick has been in a vagina.” Never!
In my generation, gay guys used to brag about having had sex with a girl because they seemed to think it made them more masculine.
Nightcharm actually did a really good article on bisexuality recently (like i dunno, 6 months ago?), which I think is good to consider side-by-side with this. Because in my experience, bisexuality has been something gay guys are really drawn to. And trade porn isn’t advertised as straight guys because it happens to be true – come on, nothing in porn is true – trade porn is advertised as straight guys because more people will watch it! The fact that they’re straight is supposed to be a turn-on!
The article uses the term “heterophobic,” which caught my attention. Heterophobic is clearly meant to mirror “homophobic.”
Heterophobia? HUH? We came from straight parents and live in a straight world; we have no choice but to be comfortable with the existence and presence of heterosexuals. When we react negatively to heterosexual things and ideas, it is out of fear and our resentment of its unfair dominance in our lives – NOT any kind of belief that heterosexuals are morally inferior. I don’t think that “heterophobia” is a useful idea that matters – it just leads into this whole “bigotry goes both ways” quagmire that is used to discredit our honest claims of being marginalized. It’s a way for straight people to deflect our calls for equality or even just breathing room, by saying that somehow they are the ones oppressed by our lifestyles.
One word for saying “ew this dick has been in a vagina”: SEXISM, not heterophobia. It’s discomfort with women, not with the idea of opposite-sex sex.
Please forgive all typos.
OK. For starters let me make this clear:
- I love and believe in the beauty of many bisexuality, homosexuality and all sexuality.
- I am against censorship. Porn has a right to be as it pleases and I have a right to critique it, love it, buy it, or not buy it.
My problem with the marketing ploy of gay-for-pay in gay porn (and the labeling of guys who take dick in the ass, suck dick, get sucked, etc, as “straight”) comes down to this:
(1)
Sure, porn is all-in-fun. It’s fantasy! And I But, gay porn, like all porn, should have SOME ethics. Let me give you two examples that SURELY you already know about. Gay porn around the middle 1980s woke up and realized that some parts of the fantasy had to be checked. Films with barebacking encouraged the spread of HIV. Guys were dying in droves. Major porn studios insisted upon condoms. People are still dying, getting sick and suffering from the perils of managing a chronic illness but in the 1990s barebacking returned as a marketing ploy. Here’s another example: Straight porn has a somewhat rigorous STI testing tradition (pioneered by Sharon Mitchell’s terrific The Adult Industry Medical Foundation). Sadly, gay porn does not have an equivalent agency. The whole idea of adult industry STI testing is to make porn more ETHICAL and socially responsible when it comes to disease vectors. My point is that some of us realize that porn reflects the real-world as much as fantasy. People die of terrible diseases. Homophobia diminishes the lives of many people. These ethical problems aren’t somehow removed from porn because its a creative endeavor designed to get us off. Some of us want our porn to be both HOT and ethical.
(2) Homophobia is REAL. Straight men receive all sorts of privileges that gays and bisexuals DO NOT, including pride of place in casting for all sorts of movies, films, and entertainment, the right to marry, the right to serve in the military, and the list goes on. It is an ETHICAL problem when gay porn producers don’t label performers as BISEXUAL or GAY when they are having sex with dudes in light of society’s privileging of straights. All parts of gay cultures need pride of place, including gay porn. Straight guys who are not fully aroused or who act like gayness is a terrible thing that they have to feel guilty about (like Jason Adonis) highlight society’s homophobia. There are MANY gay boys like Kurt Wild who need money and who can perform sexually and who don’t mind being out and proud. It matters to be openly LGBTI! It is a powerful statement. In gay porn one would hope there would be more of an emphasis on the beauty of gayness and bi-ness.
So, your post assumes that those of us who are against gay-for-pay are anti-bi. Well, that’s not me. I realize that sexuality is often fluid. However, once you have any kind of sex with men you are no longer 100% straight and you shouldn’t be worried about being labeled bi or gay in a gay porno flick.
The “gay for pay” concept seems extremely sexist. People don’t make anywhere as big a deal about straight women pretending to be lesbians in porn.
The problem for me is being deceived into thinking the GAY FOR PAY performers are really enjoying the sex but are really straight. Big turn off. Bi guys should say they are so and not call themselves straight. If you like gay sex, you are no longer straight, but BI or Gay, period. Is that so hard?
First off, great article.
Well, this could be just me, but for me the definitions of sexuality are not based or restricted by sex.
A guy liking to fuck other guys doesn’t mean he is gay (to me), it just means he’s a horny guy who likes to get off.
Sexuality, for me, involves an emotional commitment. If someone tells me he is gay, I presume that to mean that he is attracted to guys and, should he ever be in a (committed) relationship, it would be with a man, not with a woman.
Sure, sex enters the picture, as it probably does in many relationships, but it is not the defining factor (well…maybe it is for some).
Porn was never about an emotional commitment. On the contrary, like you say, it’s work and should be regarded as such. I don’t think any porn actor could get very far if he got emotionally attached to his fellow actors.
By that reason alone I find the fuss about ‘gay-for-pay’ a bit ridiculous. Honestly, I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about whether the guy on my screen is straight or gay. I just care about whether he’s hot and if he’s got some sort of vibe going on.
Porn is not an ethical battleground. It’s an industry designed to make money by giving the people what they want in a visual, sexual play. If saying one or more of those guys are straight makes it sell better, then you’d have to be an idiot not to market it as gay-for-pay porn.
Like I said before, if the straight guy does go for gay porn if he really needs money, it’s a job. For one, it might not feel to him as cheating. After all, he’s not doing it with another girl and he most certainly doesn’t feel anything for the other guy.
Second, chances are extremely slim that any of his (undoubtedly heterosexual) friends or his girlfriend will ever see the porn flick and discover what he did. And last of all, maybe he just knows it feels fucking great (pun perhaps intended). That makes him neither gay nor bisexual.
Whether you’ve got a cock or a dildo up your ass, if you don’t really give a shit what it’s attached to, then that says nothing about your sexuality.
Oh, and Tyra Banks and her audience? Maybe you should make something of your own life instead of stepping on other peoples’ lives. Get a clue -.-
I’m not a gay man. Infact I’m an Asian, Muslim-born, overweight, woman. First off, I think this is a really great article. I have to agree there are a lot of things stacked on women that makes them ‘seemingly’ homophobic. I think this stems from the fact that all connotations of gender and sexuality aside. What these ‘females’ are fighting for is the attention of the top which in more cases than one is usually the White Straight Male. Bisexuality brings in also the notion then that this sort of femalehood needs to be in competition now not only with one another (other women) but also bisexual men. Deconstructionist comments such as Tallest Top do seriously make sense. I think another way of looking at this is that if we take the point that there is no such thing as ‘natural’ gay, straight or bisexual, then all of these is a constructed development. I also think this is a great time to live because its a time where all things all manners of human sexuality are beginning to converge and cross one anothe’s path.
How can youy say bisexuality doesn’t exist? A normalpopulation falls into a bell curve with the minority extremes at the ends and a wealth of greys in the middle. What we have is a minority of one and a wealth of the other. Why? It’s easier to go with the herd, especially if it could kill you. Think, as recently as thirty years ago, even if we did have the technology, this site would probably have been banned. Even today, young men and women wear a mask so they can dodge harassment one more day. Some even wear the mask their entire life so as to not risk disinheritment. So many times we bring up these issuses for our defense,but the banner is long.
On the topic of the article, I agree with the author — these men are at work, being motivated by money to produce a fantasy. We don’t critize a legitimate actor for not being Bond, or Batman… unless his acting is bad. Give them a break, grab yourself and enjoy.
give me a break, people. Porn is not”just work’ like any other job. It’s sex…it’s graphic, yes, it’s intimate filimng of sex acts.
“How can youy say bisexuality doesn’t exist? A normalpopulation falls into a bell curve with the minority extremes at the ends and a wealth of greys in the middle. What we have is a minority of one and a wealth of the other.”
Maybe, but being Bi is nowhere near as prevalent as your typical coy gay porn star or convenient fence-straddler would have you think. Aside from being a marketing gimmick, it’s also something of a dodge. Being on-the-take is one thing, but more than a few men turn to porn, hustling, or DL (oy, that term) encounters to make their homosexuality “legit” — as in it’s for the money, fame, kicks, etc.
And as pointed out earlier, the converse never seems fly. Notice how in Right Wing rhetoric being gay is always a temptation that must be resisted and that weak men are forever falling off the wagon for. Yes, you’ll get desperate men who marry a woman or use a beard and thus incorporate a female into their masquerade, but how many centered gay guys walk past a foxy lady and have to tell themselves “Fight it! Fight it!”? By that logic, which state of being seems more natural?
There’s a nigh-sure-fire way to determine anyone’s sexual orientation on a dime: snap your finger, tell them to say the first thing that comes into their head, and ask who they masturbate about. If they hem and haw or equivocate, that can often be as telling a response as if they just came out with an honest response.
In reference to above comments…
It continues to be beyond me how people who have not conducted any kind of sociological study or fieldwork take it upon themselves to announce, through their own experience, how uncommon bisexuality is.
Seems like sheer arrogance to me. How about letting people who are part of a condition speak for themselves?
I don’t know if 1% or 5% or 70% of men are bisexual. But I do know that it’s completely feasible for all sorts of men married to women to be bisexual. What grounds do we have to deny it?
I think nikko is wrong, or at least living in the wrong decade.
Yes, before the advent of the internet, porn was a fringe vocation that often employed performers who were broke, confused, on drugs, dim witted, or occasionally curious and rebellious. The net changed that criteria.
In fact porn is on the verge of becoming totally blase for most consumers — sure, the instinctual reaction is still there, the one we are biologically programmed to react to (seeing a cock, or ass or pair of tits prompts a boner). But the harsh light of cheap amateur porn making, and the glut of mainstream porn product, coupled with the Net’s “at your fingertips” instantaneous availability have turned porn into a yawn-inducing, disenchanted “Oh, yeah, great — uhm, yeah, that’s a nice blowjob scene, guess I’ll jack off to that and then get on with my day” sort of utilitarian, ho-hum blip on the screen of one’s daily activities.
This is an unfortunate situation. To counter this waning focus of our gaze, porn producers are resorting to more and more gonzo-inspired projects, to keep the money flowing. I caught some hetero porn the other day and was utterly repulsed at the grotesque humiliation of some of the female performers — one blow job scene had the woman gagging so furiously on a cock that was being ‘forced’ down her throat that with the deluge of saliva she was drooling, she vomited up some of her lunch as well. And this was supposed to be a turn on?
So, back to nikko, I don’t think there’s much ‘intimacy’ left in porn nowadays — that’s gone the way of the dodo and that annoying series of electronic buzzing and squealing sounds you’d hear when your dial-up modem was attempting to connect to the net.
I agree with John’s remarks above.
In the 80s there were some gay for pay porn actors and they were really horrible. Lex Baldwin springs to mind. Very fake actor, clearly didn’t really want to be doing what he was doing.
But today many G4P actors are very good. Let me use Chris Rockway as an example. I totally buy the fantasy, whether he is just horny enough to fuck anything that moves or he’s consciously trying to act the role, it doesn’t really matter to me. It’s believable and it’s hot. Now when someone like Cody Cummings keeps emphasizing he’s only doing it for the money, that’s unattractive. As far as I know, Rockway has just been upfront he’s gay for pay so it’s disclosed, and otherwise appreciates his fans and does his job with gusto. No biting the hand that feeds. As far as what he has really going on in his life? Not really my business in the first place to worry about. He’s done his job well and that’s where it should end.
The first guest, Kurt Wild, had lost his job over at Subway because a man called in and said he knew who Kurt was. I wonder how the patron knew? Tyra was acting almost horrified that Kurt did porn. She made him so nervous that he developed a neck itch. She also took advantage of the guy’s young age, lack of vocabulary, and sophistication to sweep the floor with him. She seemed hell-bent on humiliating and contradicting him at all times.
Aaron James, her second guest gay for pay porn star, seemed tougher and he obvioulsy wasn’t going to take bs from her, so she held a bit back. Then the show got worse with some guidos bartenders who were straight but worked in gay bars for the money. Good for them. One claimed he was offered $40,000 for a night with a man, which he turned down. Aha.
From worse to worst, there was some creepy, nerdy editor from The Advocate with his annoying nasal voice and lisssssssp, acting that it was so wrong of straight guys to do gay porn. This is where people get caught in their own hypocrisy as if there weren’t a market for that kind of porn those guys wouldn’t be working.
The caper to this was ex gay star Matt Sanchez giving counsel, getting moralistic, bringing 911 into the mess (to show his patriotism), and saying a lot of idiotic things about how porn is shot, stating that “no one gets into porn for the pleasure of it.” Wow, if the models in porn are acting in lust and pleasure and it’s fake, then 99.9% of adult stars are all Academy Award contenders.
A few years ago I saw in the Ru Paul show a gay porn actor who said he did it for fun and “how else was (he) going to get to have sex with hot guys?” Excellent in honesty. Who cares if people make their money in porn. Better in porn than being unsafe somewhere else.
So if people love to have sex, talk about it, look at it, they can’t profit from it? Don’t confuse chastity with decency. What I got in all of this is that people watch porn but in real life people who do porn are unacceptable human beings, according to some?
Peace Out!
First, full disclosure- I’m self-identified gay male and I wouldn’t mind having an MMF threeway, since I think it’d be kind of cool. I love my gay identity because it lets me feel like I can be the truest to myself, not just with the sex but with all the other accoutrement that comes with it (including using french to express myself :b)
I personally don’t like gay for pay and I don’t think it has to do with any personal anti-bi sentiment. Part of it borne of a resentment that porn studios are telling me (at least this is how I interpret it) that straight men are really the top of the heap. Why would I want to see some Joe-blow gay guy get it on when I can see that elusive white tiger of the bedroom, the majestic heterosexual male? I feel the message is “hey fags! you ought to be tripping over yourself to try to have sex with someone that has no interest in having sex with you!” Granted, a lot of consumers of gay porn will be watching gay actors that would never want to have sex with the viewer, but at least it isn’t an automatic veto based on chromosomes.
My second (and probably more important) reason I don’t like gay-for-pay porn is that I think better porn comes from people that are actually enjoying the sex, or at least have the performance ability to make me believe the lie they are selling me (some might call this “acting,” and yeah I think some guys in porn can do that). I think this is part of the reason that amateur porn is really cutting into pro porn’s market. Regardless of if it’s gay-for-pay or just gay porn, if the guys involved look totally not into it I can’t force myself to be into it either. Gay-for-pay always seems to have a higher rate of guys not into it (wonder why). Seeing people just go through the motions, whether filling my coffee or filling their asshole, is depressing to me and I like to see people doing things joyfully. Gay-for-pay just doesn’t give that to me.
Thanks, Matt. Well said.
I couldn’t have put it any better Matt.
I don’t think it’s fair to make a blanket statement saying that those who don’t like gay-for-pay have this simplistic view of sexuality. Not everyone in this camp are insecure about their sexual identity.
Ironically, I do think that sexual insecurity is partly the reason why gay-for-pay porn saturates the market in the first place. As Matt puts it, straight guys are at the top of the sexual heap in gay porn. Why? Because as a gay man, I’m attracted to other men, and there’s nothing more manly than a ‘macho-masculine-straight-acting-guy’, at least that’s what I’ve been hard-wired to believe since birth.
Ideally, you should be able to put on a pink shirt and call it manly just on the principle that you’re wearing it: “I’m a man, I’m wearing this shirt, therefore it’s manly.” Easy. But not realistic. It’s hard to own your sexuality in a society where straight equivocably means masculine, especially if you have ‘effeminate’ mannerisms.
Likewise, being effeminate will never get you on top (cheesy pun not intended, but it stays), at least in porn. I believe this is why the overwhelming majority of pro-am guys are ‘straight’, why the so-called ‘Trinity’ of gay porn are straight (Jeff Stryker/Ryan Idol/Ken Ryker), and also why Dirk Jager will never have a speaking role in a porno. To the public at large, effeminate gay guys are great as comedic foils in sitcoms, but not as attractive sexual prospects.
As for why I don’t like, not hate (I think there’s difference) gay-for-pay porn; simply put, I’ve become jaded. I’ve been a fan of gay porn since I saw my first one; seeing Jake Taylor’s hairy torso broke down years of self-denial and promptly gave me two epiphanies:
1) “I’m not straight, bi, or bi-curious. I’m GAY!”
2) “Holy crap, guys can do the missionary!!!”
However, there’s only so many times you can go on a pro-am site and hear the same M.O.: straight guy — loves pussy — gf doesn’t know he’s here — broke — watch him have awkward gay sex. It’s gotten to the point where my brain’s become hyper-aware of certain things that occur in gay-for-pay porn, and now every time I watch any type of porn I can’t help but srutinize it: guy gives an awkward blowjob and doesn’t take in more than the head (I’m lookin’ at you eastern europe); bottom does all the ‘work’ and the top doesn’t reciprocate; guy keeps looking off screen (straight porn playing in the background); worse, the straight porn comes into the shot; guy squints his eyes and arches his back a lot (Leo Giamani); any type of stunting (exactly like it sounds); and the list goes on…
Honestly, all I want are two hot guys who can make eye contact and reciprocate. It shouldn’t take so much work just to bust a nut.
This is a great post. I completely agree with everything you said, and I’m glad someone finally had the balls to say it.
I hate gay for pay, if they are straight, they should do straight porn,and stay away from owr gay porn.
I don’t think it is right to suppress someone’s homosexuality. And I don’t agree with double standards.
So why should it be okay to suppress heterosexuality? [Regardless of the reasons]
One of the fundamentals of Gay-rights movement, is that people should be who they are.
The concept of gay-for-pay, the literal term, means that person is NOT gay. So performing gay acts, if your REALLY not gay is counter to this idea.
As for the bartender flirting with patron for an extra tip…. I think it is wrong regardless of whom is doing it, gay, straight, male, or female.
Hypothetically, a man can have homosexual sex. ONLY IF HE BOTTOMS because he doesn’t need to be aroused.
As for women in porn doing girl on girl action…
Women can perform sexually with being aroused… MEN CANNOT.
They need to be hard, and in order for this to occur have to find something sexually appealing. EVEN WITH SEXUAL ENHANCEMENTS LIKE VIAGRA MEN NEED A SEXUAL STIMULANT.
So having sex with men, in the ass, is not an easy act if your really straight.
Even if you keep porn on the side of the shoot for them, the act occurs with out it.
I’m Sorry I don’t believe a Man can be gay for pay, just confused.
Maybe it is only a matter of personal taste.
Str8 men having sex, either with other Str8 men, or a gay guy, is not very appealing to me. The sex lacks enthusiasm. Most of the Str8 guys do not look like they really want that cock in their mouth, or in them from behind.
Perhaps it is a lack of acting skill needed to create the illusion they really are enjoying sucking a cock.
Back in the 80s, there was this one guy, went by JW King, that was in many porn productions. He really looked like he wanted to suck cock and he gave great head. His enthusiasm was obvious. He put energy into it, he sweated and he looked like sucking cock was what he really wanted to do. He had the look of desire on his face.
Also, it may be visually appealing to some when the guy masturbates for the money shot, I just don’t care for it. I really like it when the other guy is making him shoot his load.
JO movies are not interesting and most of what the Str8 guys do is suck a little, plug a little and then JO. Ugh.
Give me two guys that are obviously into each other, they’ll touch each others bodies, get close to each other and show that they really want to be having sex with this guy. Now that’s interesting, arousing but also very, very rare.
Also, have you ever noticed that half the time when the “gay for pay” actors actually TALK, they’re about as nancy as Laura Bush? DEFINITELY NOT STRAIGHT. Nor are the “first time” videos really the first time seeing as how they don’t scream in terror and pain when they get fucked by a cock bigger than you can shake your fist at. The whole thing is mythology.
“Straight” is clearly a label they’re putting on these guys to make them alluring, which sort of irks me – what’s wrong with being GAY?
On the other hand, those who do have wives and children off the job are probably bisexual (I don’t think a straight guy would be able to get hard without drugs), which, with 300 million Americans, is hardly rare or unbeleivable.
Joe, there is nothing wrong with being gay. Now all we need to do is convince all those closet cases that “protest too much” to our detriment. Fortunately, things are changing, slowly, but changing.
Str8 label is now an automatic “I don’t really want to see that.”
There are a number of places one can obtain Amateur productions where the guys are gay, they are having sex with another guy and they are both into each other.
“Also, have you ever noticed that half the time when the “gay for pay†actors actually TALK, they’re about as nancy as Laura Bush? DEFINITELY NOT STRAIGHT.”
Aren’t these the same sort of stereotypes the gay community is fighting against?
The fact is that just as someone who is “straight” cannot truly understand the whole inner workers of someone who is “gay”, the reverse is also true. The fact is that “straight” and “gay” exist in mutual exclusion, because if you’re attracted to both sexes, you can neither claim to be truly “gay” or “straight”, just as a “gay” male doesn’t know the what it’s like to be “straight”, a “bi” male wouldn’t know what it is like to be attracted to only one sex and not the other. If someone wanted to determine another person’s lustful inclinations with absolute certainty, he/she would have to be fully understanding of both ends of the spectrum and everything in-between. Of course, one can always imagine or infer what the other is like, but there is a huge gap between imagination and experience. Not to mention that we don’t have huge signs indicating our sexuality to the world, so we have to rely on the person’s word, actions, and our perceptions (keep in mind that human perception is not the most reliable of things).
I could claim to be anything and no one could claim to know the absolute truth, even if you met, you wouldn’t really know, and just as I for you, you for me as well.
Having said that, I’ll say that I’m a transgender female or… well, I admit my lack of knowledge on what the accepted terms for these sort of things are, but I am genetically XY (as far as I know; I’d say 95% sure, but I’d be 99.99% sure if I had seen a karyotype, but I haven’t). Anyway, with the addition of this whole other dimension to perception, it does aggravate an already complicated thing. Because I only know who I myself am, I cannot even say with certainty that there is such a thing as being “gay” (though I am almost 100% sure)(I absolutely do understand if that statement infuriates you, but please hear me out to the end)… being “gay” is like me without the transgender part, but I still can’t fathom what it is to be myself without that part of me. One would think, we’d be so similar, but the truth is I don’t even really know what it means to be a “man”, let alone a “gay man”; sure I know what it’s like to exist in a shell designated as “man”, but that’s all it really is. Reading some of the things written, sometimes there’s that “yes, that’s exactly what it’s like”, but then there are many times where I have absolutely no idea what you all are talking about. Since I can remember, I’ve always been aware of my sexuality, so any sort of questioning or confusion is foreign to me (though once again, I take peoples’ word on it that such a situation exists). Yes, I have been confused about what constitutes as part of this or that category, but this was purely a question of group membership (the desire for kinship I suppose) but not of what I am. At first it was so simple: “girl in a boy’s body”, but then there was this new category of “gay”, so I thought boy and likes boys, that must be what this state of existence is called and of course the later introduced category of “transsexual” was always associated with “gay”, and I obviously did not have any sort of formal physical change nor have I even worn “drag” before, so I could not claim to be in that group. The more I understood what being “gay” meant to members of that group, I gained that sort of hyper-awareness one gets when no one realizes (or cares) that you don’t really belong but you know that you are so different like you’re wearing all red in a funeral. So until I found out that there actually was this whole other category (i.e. transgender), I felt like: how am I supposed to be something when it doesn’t make sense to me at all (beyond understanding intellectually or through hypothetical sort of inference). I guess the categories also made much more sense to me as I realized that “gay” and “transsexual” are falsely associated with each other.
Anyway, the point is that human sexuality is so very complicated, and it would be prejudiced to try and fit it all into our own experience. I realize that there’s that added issue of the societal stigma and the whole business money angle as to reasons to cast serious doubt, but none of us can claim with absolute certainty anything about these peoples’ sexuality, just as I assume the existence of “gay” and you may assume the existence of “transgender” in good faith. I don’t mean that you should naively take everyone’s word on everything, but at the very least, acknowledge the possibility that you (those who are so very certain that such a thing cannot exist) may be wrong and while you are may be a gay male, you cannot speak as a straight male (if you’re here, that is the assumption- I’m 90% sure; and this also doesn’t add the whole “bi” and other gray areas of sexuality on top of not being a straight male).
I just think sometimes we get too wrapped up in our own experience that we sometimes forget how truly limited it truly is in the spectrum of “human experience”, so it’s nice to have an outside perspective once in a while.
Whoa, wait. One thing I just wanted to mention is I saw that episode of the “Tyra Show”, and it’s funny because I didn’t think she said anything really offensive or off-base and sufficient for the masses for now (it’s about baby-steps) (except at the end, but that’s more for the “black Cleopatra” thing. By the gods, Tyra, Cleopatra is from the Ptolemy line (Greek/Macedonian) established for post Alexander. I mean you couldn’t even think of a queen who’s actually “black” let alone, actually ethnically Egyptian (hello, Hatshepsut, or even a Nefertiti cop-out would suffice)? Sorry ADD moment). Oh but I did raise an eyebrow when that guy from the audience was like, I wouldn’t sleep with another dude for any amount of money (could you have given a more contrite stereotypical heterosexual-patriarchy-of-males-insecure-with-male-sexuality-so-they-must-publicly-assert-their-dominance-to-affirm-their-own-sense-of-superiority type answer), oh, and I was so ashamed when the mostly female audience was clapping for that comment (where were my feminist sisters calling out that egotistical hubristic comment for what it is? Don’t encourage him! B****es!). What was I talking about? Oh yeah, I was so crushing on that “Aaron” guy and Tyra felt bad for him that his girlfriend broke up with him because he was gonna be on the “Tyra Show”, and I felt bad for him too… anyway, I had done some searching, and that’s how I found out that the gay community wasn’t too happy with the show. There were many angry posts and comments and Tyra-bashing (this was like a long time ago, right after the show); I guess I can understand the bashing, but on the other hand, I hadn’t realized there would be such a difference of interpretation regarding the show from the way I interpreted it, so while I cannot speak for Tyra and her intentions, it apparently is possible that it was a well meaning deed gone awry without even knowing it.
We use sexuality to sell everthing in the market place but when it comes to selling sex itself, why do we start to take all sorts of moral high ground. It is a job of work to most sex workers and/or porn stars, it may attract all sorts of sexualities but that is not the point. Most low paid workers are exploited. Porn is selling a product produced by the system, labelled in any way to get maximum return. Anything goes! The only thing one can do to express your disagreement is to vote with your wallet, until we have a society that respects everyones individuality and diversity and allows them to express this in a way they choose.
Why isn’t it possible for a straight man to get turned on by another man? I’m gay and I’ve been excited by women in certain situations, even though it’s not something I would jerk off at. Penatration should not be that difficult, even without drugs. There’s plenty of gays who’ve had chidren out there.
Of course, getting aroused does not necessarily mean you end up actually enjoying it.
I haven’t developed yet my gay porn criticism skills to such a degree that I can tell gay from gay-for-pay, while in action. Of course, I do care if they are my type, but the label “straight” in itself does certainly not have any appeal on me.
I believe there is not such thing as a gay-straight lineal continuum when it comes to attraction and feelings, there is sexuality 4D world. And I also believe that our grandchildren will laugh at our use of all these labels and we’ll need to tell them “those were different times”.
First of all sorry because my english is so bad i will try anyway to add my opinion..
I agree with someone that said: what do you expect of porn industry? of porn “stars”..of big porn “directors”…it seems to me that most of you forget tha99.99999999% of those so called stars are hustlers , vulgar prostitutes no more…
many porn stars where in jail because they are robbers murders and so on…those people “heterosexual bi or gay” are no example for nothing…no one in the “industry” i think had any values at all.
since porn exists top men are shown as the best thing ever exists and they must be of course hetero. Now there so many sites bullshit sites like those of disgusting guys like Jake Cruise….trying to sell us their macho men….as heterosexual indeed..
did you pay attention at this fact? one begins as ultra macho man..doesnt kiss doesnt suck doesnt touch anothers man dick …..two episodes later…he begins to suck..and then gets it up the ass and bareback as well…like this bastard leo giamani ohoohhh our macho straight gets fucked….but of course because of the money..
i think thats only bullshit and if doesnt matter if they re straigh bi or whatever..
that stupid thing for stupid people.
someone said amateur is better… better what??? its only low budget flicks made by people who try to make some money showing how they fuck….the action isnst realistic neithher..or do you think its real when a bastard producer says he is doing it with a spy cam??? and you hear the directions??? who the fuck is so stupid to believe that
ok if you want take it but just stop to try that we think thats is real. now porn industry, falcon colt or whatever as jake cruise or sebastian sloane and the twinks and clair and ultra stupids czechs and hungarns are awkward, the same way as hidden cams, and janes cam, and college live boys…uffffffffff my god.
by the way i dunno why some guys here are making the deffense of bisexual men, when many gay men know, that bisexuals, obviously like sex with men, and they always are going to say they gay partners that they are bi, married or with girlfriend so that the gay couldnt not expect any other thing that sex with them, and please if you see me on the street , do so as if you didnt ever seen me in your life..let me tell you something it gay for pay is bullshit, at least you know you pay for that and its ok
bisexual men are worse, what do you expect from a heterosexual? they hate us gay men.
the like to humillate gay men all the time…bisexuals are always doing the same..but at the same time…they fool around with gays.
i think bisexual exists, but i dont like them and i dont like to have sex with them.
many gay men unfortunately love them, bi and staight , so bad.and hate another gay men..so bad.
same shit i shown always with no exception in non porn “gay themed” my god!!! the same old story the poor gay man…falling in love with his best friend macho man.
who sometimes will let him suck his dick or even fuck him but then will regret it and go back with his sweety girl.fuck off
arent the going never change the arguments?
its enough i think
There are gay men out there who otherwise appear to be straight on the outside.
I am a “straight-acting,” masculine, gym-going, athletic gay man, as is my boyfriend. Neither of us fit the stereotype of gay men. Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you have to fit into a role. I have zero interest in decorating, fashion, Madonna, Broadway shows, and “traditional” gay stuff. I belch, break wind, shave only every three or four days, and watch tons of sports.
Against that background, I’ve found that many gay men can’t relate to me because I’m not “gay enough.” Good lord, I love men, and love to fuck them. I’m as gay as they come. I’m just not a stereotype, and neither is the man with whom I share my bed and my life.
I’m only attracted to masculine men. I’m attracted to masculinity, not gayness or straightness. I’m attracted to a type of man, not a label. Thankfully, my boyfriend thinks the same way
I find it so hard to believe that so many people that yearn for society to be open minded and accepting can be so hard headed and closed minded. I appreciate the comments left by Anonymous Alias enlightening those that might fall into the group I just mentioned.
I associate myself with being gay and my partner bi. I’ve been with women in the past and can understand and appreciate that aspect of sexuality completely. I however found as life progressed that I was aroused more by men. I think that through a traumatic experience DETLEF has formed a negative opinion that encompasses all bi men. My partner has had two prior long term emotional relationships. First with a man and second with a woman and now he’s in a third with me. When I first found out there was a part of me that was scared that he might one day decide to up and leave me all because he decided he wanted to be with a woman. I no longer fear that because I came to understand that for him it’s not a sexual desire that drives him to one sex or the other. It’s the mental and emotional bond that’s created with a person and as that bond grows it turns into an emotional attachment and eventually love. I anticipate a very long meaningful relationship with him. If one day he decides to leave me it won’t be because he all of a sudden desired to be in a vagina. It’ll be because things went astray in our relationship to drive him away. Which of course at this point i don’t see that happening.