I love certain sexual stereotypes. Like the one that says the pumped-up, big-dicked gym addict (the one with broad shoulders, thick pecs and grapefruit biceps) is a top. And the one that says the lean, compact, dreamy-eyed guy is a bottom.

In this case, the top is named Josh and the bottom Tucker. Both have starred in popular solos in our Cruiser Boys theater. Now they’ve paired up for you and their bodies fit together just right.

This is a masterful suck and fuck session from two guys whose hormones are raging. Crazy thing is they go to the same gym and Tucker has had his eye on Josh for months. Little hornball Tucker can’t stop staring at guys he digs, even if they’re straight. Well, that’s what locker rooms are for!

Join the Inner Circle now to watch handsome, horny pair Josh and Tucker give each other a hard workout.

“They keep telling me ‘You’re overqualified. You’re under-qualified. We want someone who’s had this exact experience before. We want someone long term. We think you’ll take a better job when one comes along. This doesn’t seem like something you want to make a career out of. This is an entry level position, you have too much experience. If I hire you for this position, I’d have to promote you in a couple of months and I can’t do that. These fellowships are for people who are still in Grad/Law school. I’m sorry I’ve wasted your time. We can’t afford to hire a J.D. You don’t have the right transactional law experience. You’re incapable. You’re too capable.’ Etc. Ad nauseum.”

– comment via Gawker regarding a New York Times article on rampant unemployment among Millennials.

I’ll have everyone know that I would have made a perfect taint glazer.

Perhaps too perfect.

This is a horrible old misogynistic coot having a rant about his hatred for well-heeled bitches and fancy men who drive luxury vehicles and flaunt their health club-sculpted tails. Once, on a busy city street, a nasty fat man (with a little dog) who clearly hated “provocative” young men with high-sitting asses like me sidled up to my illicit shape and viciously whispered “Don’t get too gay.” I threw him down to the ground, but did not harm the blameless pup, who was clearly a class act and embarrassed enough. Also, I wasn’t the least bit sorry, which I think in retrospect marked my descent into Fight Club-esque bad boyism.

Anyway, we know now that American prosperity is actually based on cronyism, greed, thievery, and emerging from the right vagina, and that the Free Market is a fantasy perpetrated by bone-throwing psychopaths with business degrees. I too despise our bastard plutocracy and the soul-deadening race to toil for a life of comfort and leisure, so whenever I pull a knife on a broker or banker who cuts ahead of me in line because he thinks I’m insignificant, I have to wonder if this man isn’t inside me. There is truth in every seething, broad-daylight rant.

Continue, toothless, raving demagogue.

Nobody can screw up a room like a gay man on a mission.

All the mythology about the deft taste of gay men may be great to keep the rubes shelling out the big bucks to home decorators with fire in their eyes — but buyer beware. Lemmings are committed to a vision too.

One thing that gay men have in abundance is taste. Not necessarily good taste. Just tons and tons of vivid taste. (read the full article)

…Billy Jayne.

Some people mature into hotness, while others are born scorching. Giving birth to Billy Jayne had to result in second degree burns.

Jayne (alternately credited as Billy Jacoby) was the first person close-ish to my age that I was attracted to as a child — even as a youngin’, I was usually a slut for authority — and it helped that he was one of those young actors who regularly appeared on Big ’80s series like Benson, Silver Spoons, The Golden Girls, The A-Team, 21 Jump Street, and (DVD release, please) The Charmings. That made him familiar and approachable to me.

I distinctly remember imagining he was my boyfriend while I spun The Police’s “Every Breath You Take” and Blondie’s “Union City Blue” on my Fisher Price record player, and even though I had a rudimentary idea of what sex was at best — I continue to scoff at anyone who claims kids are “innocent” — I knew I wanted to do it with him. His wavy brunet locks, masculine Irish-Italian features, and husky voice turned me on and made him seem different from me. During my ’80s Sword & Sorcery obsession (it goes on), he played young Dar in The Beastmaster, which I found swooningly awesome. (read the full article)

This is some generic actor from some lame vampire franchise that I haven’t seen and avert my eyes from any mention of because it was much cooler when it was called Dark Shadows, Forever Knight, Buffy, or Angel.

I’ll call him Dakota Hammer.

Clearly graduating from the Josh Hartnett school of forehead furrowing = emoting, Dakota assures us that his employer Men’s Health has “great articles to read” — We know! We’ve read all five of them! — and so you know he’s a filthy, lying man-whore who’ll say anything for cash. His tell? He glances for a moment offscreen as if to query, “Wait? Am I telling a not-truth? For realz?” After he postures and flaunts it for the camera, he opines “It’s a great men’s…magazine…,” and while the too-practiced cock of his eyebrow makes him seem confident of that fact, the rising inflection of his voice makes it instead play interrogatively.

“It’s a great men’s…magazine?” (read the full article)

Jake Cruise theater cameraman Jason Novak is at it again. Jake reluctantly steps fully behind the camera for this scene. So buff, blonde and damn lucky Jason takes his place and gets rewarded with a hardcore threeway with Czech bodybuilders Olda and Lubor. These guys are pumped and primed, fresh from the gym and ready to fuck and suck.

Working out is so damn sexual sometimes, you know? Making your muscles grow. Sweating and bulging. Staring at yourself in the mirror. Sneaking peaks at other guys in their tight shorts and tees. Wanting to show off your hard work to a buddy.

Multiply all that built-up tension by three, take away every stitch of clothing, and you get this trio. I swear one of them manages to fit in a few sit-ups while he takes cock in his mouth and ass. Working out (and big cock) sure is addicting.

Join the Inner Circle now so you can watch these three in action. Bonus shower scene at the end!