Our favorite kind of bigots — the friendly, condescending, “hate the sin” type — are here for us, and even though one of them menstruates (“Unclean! Out of my tent!”) and the other clearly wasn’t born in the true God’s image (A god who isn’t downy white?! What’s next — lady gods?!), they know something we don’t:
Jesus is comin’ back!
Sure it’s our fault, but that’s OK, because he’s here for the wedding to end all weddings — his! — and that means we’ll be planning it!
But who will the lucky lady be? Rosemary’s clearly out of the running, and Angelina Jolie‘s no virgin. Whoever it is, we know she’ll be all sacred and knocked-up within seconds of him popping the question, but how exactly will that work? Can her mortal uterus withstand the force of Big J’s titanic super sperm if they actually do it? Will he just golden shower all over her like Zeus does? Or should he simply cut out the middlewoman altogether and carry the kid himself like Loki did? Even our child savior has to admit that an eight-legged horse is way cooler than a fetus with a halo. And what about a prenup?!
Heavens, it might even take a procession of centaurs (awesome…) to outdo Chelsea Clinton‘s hitchin’.
And here’s Reese Rideout with the rebuttal:
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I thought Jesus was coming back to destroy the world… not to marry some bitch. This must be the latest breakthrough in the land of crazy fucks. I wonder what the Vatican would say about that…
The rebuttal is priceless!
There is no definition of marriage in the bible. let alone one man one women definition.
Amazing how the lies and twist of facts become so commonplace that those the profess authority actually believe what they are saying.
I just think it’s funny to watch this video and see the porn slide-show out of the corner of my eye of guys getting their dicks sucked. Priceless!
HELLO,I AM “CHRISTIAN”,A “BELIEVER” IN CHRIST,NOT HIS “DISCIPLES”,ALL WHO DENIED,LEFT HIM TO DIE BY JEW AND ROMAN HATE.i also thirty years buddhist,zen,nichiren,and LOVE the book of john,CHRIST HIMSELF TELLS US TO BASICALLY “JUNK” THE OLD TESTAMENT,DAAAH,HE DESTROYED THEIR ANIMAL SACRIFICING,”DEAD”,AS NIETSCHE PROCLAIMED RELIGION.they killed him for this,THE JEWISH ARISTOCRACY OF PRIESTS KNEW HE DOOMED THEM,REALLY FOLKS,REALLY FUCKING SAD,”DO YOU,ACTUALLY BELIEVE “GOD”,LIVED IN THAT TEMPLE IN JERUSALEM,PLEASE,THEY SACRIFICED ANIMALS THEN ATE THEM,SO MUCH FOR “GOD”,THEY HAD SLAVES,THEY STONED PEOPLE,THEY DIDN’T EAT LOBSTER,CRAB,SHRIMP,SCALLOPS,PORK,then it made some sense,NOW,IT’S FUCKING DUMB!!!THEY SOLD THEIR CHILDREN INTO SLAVERY,HAD MANY WIVES,LIKE THE MUSLIM DO NOW.they hate us AND REMEMBER THEIR MURDER CATHOLIC CHURCH,’guess how many murdered by catholic,holy roman church 100-200 million,THAT IS A FACT,THE GREATEST MASS MURDERER OF ALL TIME FOLKS,HITLER,MAYBE 20 MILLION,MAO-40-80 MILLION,STALIN-40-60 MILLION, THE CATHOLIC “CHURCH”, 100-200 MILLION,THIS IS WHY THEY FIGHT GAY MARRIAGE,BECAUSE WE,WE MIGHT JUST BE “EQUAL” WITH THESE FUCKERS,THESE MURDERERS WHOSE PRIESTS RAPE BOYS.christ killed judiasm,he did,they,’the romans”,never wanted him dead,but like all “law freakin nazi right types”,they had to do it,THE PRIESTS DEMANDED IT.THEY CAN’T EVEN ENJOY FUCKING THEIR HETERO WAY,HOW THE HELL YA THINK THEY’LL ACCEPT US,DICKS WHO KILL
and FURTHERMORE,I DON’T WANT THESE PRICKS LIKING ME AT ALL,KIND OF STUPID THESE “CHRISTIANS”,IT’S REPUBLICAN,IT’S DEAD,IT’S EVIL,LIKE CHRISSIE HYNDE OF “THE PRETENDERS” SAID YEARS AGO, “TRAPPED IN A WORLD THAT THEY NEVER MADE,BUT NOT ME BABY,I’M PRECIOUS,OH FUCK OFF”,read “thus spake zarasthustra”,NIETSCHE SAY “YOUR GOD IS DEAD”,AND YEAH,HE IS,MINE IS ALIVE,AND DOESN’T NEED MONEY,OR THE FUCKING REPUBLICAN MURDERERS WHO CREATED “IRAQ MASS DESTRUCTION”,AND RUINED OUR GREAT ECONOMY,MAY THEY ROT IN THE HELL THEY WILL INDEED CREATE FOR THEMSELVES,