Cavemen in Drag?: Cue the Gay Flintstones Jokes

By Thomas J. / Saturday, January 1st, 2011

Evidence that drag is one of the oldest art forms.

Scientists in southern Spain unearthed shells used as pigment containers by the Neanderthals — the Flintstones equivalent of a makeup compact. While the Neanderthals were considered to be the less-intelligent subspecies of the homo sapiens (humans), this evidence is a huge scientific discovery suggesting that they were capable of some relative symbolic thought. The Neanderthals have always had a bum rap of being unintelligent, until now.

“This is the first secure evidence for their use of cosmetics. The use of these complex recipes is new. It’s more than body painting,” said the team of scientists.

Before their ultimate extinction around 30,000 years ago, you know there had to be some fierce gay Neanderthals working it out RuPaul style. I’ve always had my suspicion of Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble making the bed rock in Bedrock.

Here’s to my surreptitious sexual thoughts as a child.

http://none Manny Espinola

Does anyone remember “Quest For Fire (1981)?” When the characters of Everett McGill and Rae Dawn Chong started to make out, one of the two male onlookers got turned on and moved closer to his friend. The friend, played by Ron Perlman (I think), rebuffed him like a very irritated alpha dog. This is the earliest historical setting in fiction where a homosexual advance occurred. Right around the putative time of the Flintstones, I suppose. The three male leads were supposedly members of a Neanderthal tribe, incapable of making fire and practiced no known arts, except, and this is still debated, funeral practices involving burial with flowers and perhaps objects owned by the deceased, suggesting a belief in the afterlife. It is Chong’s female character, a Cro-Magnon, who belonged to an advanced tribe that knew how to start a fire and that also wore body and facial paint. Personally, I think the Neanderthals worked their art and crafts in leaves and flowers (day-length rituals), wood, clay, “soft” rock, and other media that don’t last a hundred years. Besides, John Goodman and Rick Moranis rolling in leopard pelt-covered bedrock don’t exactly rock my muscle bear porn clip library.
http://none Manny Espinola

Who played Bam Bam, btw?
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Ha. Who needs a picture of fossilised clam shells when you can use sexy fan art instead? Glad you liked my artwork enough to share it here. Viewers interested in seeing the full picture can check it out on my blog: http://k-nova.blogspot.com.au/2011/04/hanna-barbera-happy-hour.html

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