Wrapped In Plastic: Ken I Get A Witness?

GQ Style Germany celebrates Barbie’s & Ken’s golden anniversary with this eerily precise, candy-colored layout — featuring the dolls’ too-silken blond locks and ever-bent arms — that’s speaking volumes about where we as gay men have come from and where we’re going.

Seriously, I’ve seen this look on actual human beings, and somehow the whole never seems to be more than the sum of its doll parts: pixie hair, spray tan, contacts, tweezed brows, joy boy wardrobe, that weird waxen smoothness to the face courtesy of Botox. The Babes In Toyland aesthetic is never so much hot as it is uncanny.

At fifty, Ken as a perfect human lifestyle trapping for the fashion-forward gal is so fraught with competing connotations that he’s verging on being prefab Frankensteinian.

Or maybe My First Rocky Horror?