Bachmann Flamer Overdrive: Crazy Eyes Has Hubby TroubleBy Shawn Baker / Sunday, March 13th, 2011
We kid Michele Bachmann because we love.
Seriously, the distinguished Congresswoman from Minnesota is a precious gift that keeps on giving.
Her graces are countless: the Joan Crawford eyebrows, the Glamour Shots hair, the Fargo accent, the perpetual glassy stare, her magical ability to pull numbers out of the air and convince herself they’re material by repeating them endlessly, her railing against socialism while pocketing a quarter million in federal farm subsidies, her assertion that women are getting abortions with the casual ease that they pick up frappuccinos, her Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur’s Court understanding of American history. Every time I think she’s drained the well, she knocks another one out of the park, and her latest one is a home run. The verdict is in:
Michele Bachmann has no gaydar.
I never really gave the notion of a Mr. Bachmann much thought, presuming she’d married a Brawny Paper Towel model who’s an American Revolution reenactor on the side, but no, La Bachmann is hitched to an ash-haired gent named Marcus Bachmann who heads a Christian counseling agency. His name has been bandied about in recent years, mostly for his clinic’s pray-the-gay-away practices, but also because said clinic also receives federal dollars, proving that it’s only spending when Liberals do it, and it’s only a handout if the brown people benefit from it.
It’s this video (right) that’s really commencing a collective side-eye though. My own internal gaydar exploded in sparks about five seconds in, and I’m not the only one taking notice. Normally, a person’s orientation or their personal choice to be in or out doesn’t interest me, but when he and his wife not only politically but financially benefit from hassling a group of people and preying on its most vulnerable members, everything’s fair game.
Some people are just obviously gay, and there’s some jawdropping delusion going on here, not only on Mrs. Bachmann’s part, but by everyone surrounding this man. Yes, people go to this guy to be set straight, and worse yet, you have to wonder if his better half isn’t attempting to either veil or exorcise some deeply personal problems through her own public policy positions. Either way, I have a whole new appreciation for Michele and her uncanny aptitude for seeing only what she wants to.
“Through their own words they will be exposed. They’ve got a severe case of the emperor’s new clothes…”
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