Tales of The Unexpected: Jason Bateman Ogles His Own Taint

Here’s the thing:

99% of Hollywood comedies are awful — plastic, empty, mirthless, lazily-penned, artificial tripe that’s the cinematic equivalent of Velveeta.

Hollywood comedies cling to asinine cliches that have no relevant connection to real life. Working women lose all sense of dignity when invited to a friend’s wedding and feel the need to pay male co-workers to be their dates. Hetero men are all fumbling man-children who are unable to handle infants without getting sprayed with urine. Declarations of love happen just before someone boards a plane to France. Adults turn into teenagers, or people switch bodies.

I’ll spare everyone the eye-rollingly horrible trailer for The Change-Up because it features two of these idiot conceits. However, it does boast one novel flourish: naked Jason Bateman admiring his own taint with a mirror. I did not expect Jason Bateman to be this hot in the buff.

A Hollywood comedy has succeeded in edifying me.

Mind. Blown.