May 19, 2009
Adam Lambert and the New Gay Crusade
by Rob Wolfsham
lambert_nightcharm3

Let’s imagine for a moment the possibility of an Adam Lambert win in the face of all the Danny Gokey fans aligning themselves with straight, married, Christian Kris Allen (who is pretty much David Archuleta with pubic hair).

There are serious Ameri-capitalist questions to be answered in the alternate universe of a Lambert Idol.

Imagine, purely speculatively, Coca-Cola executives and Ford marketing directors sitting around steel tables forty-feet long, assessing the possibility that Adam Lambert could win American Idol.

“Oh, one last thing on today’s agenda,” starts a marketing director for Coke Inc., hands flipping through a gold-laced memo book paid for with the blood of Guatemalan workers who tried to unionize, “Our contingency plan for an Adam Lambert win on American Idol.” (read the full article)

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Filed under: American Idol |
April 7, 2009
“Idol” Gossip: How To Sidestep Your Self-Made Scandal
by Shawn Baker
lambert

Commence panicked fagmentation in 3, 2, 1…

The source: trusted news outlet Fox. The issue: the gay. Highly respected journalist Bill O’Reilly is so with-it and up-to-date that the realization that the queers are infiltrating the American Idol stage is big news. For somebody. But not him. Maybe you?

Sure, Fox’s entertainment branch has a massive financial stake in promoting the program ad nauseum, and yes, you may think that a supposed reporter pretending to condescend to cover such an obvious plug makes him a hack, and maybe Bill’s attempt at casual objectivity is as thinly-veiled as his hair. The point is, there’s a real issue here. We guess. Bill’s not really sure either.

If you were a cynical person, you might ponder how exactly do you spur a Gay Panic reaction out of an exploitive non-story while struggling to maintain your feigned disinterest about how trivial the subject you’re reporting on really is. First, you need a performer whose Emo-ish, vaguely panssexual appearance threatens you on a visceral level, especially when photos — which you make sure to brand “embarrassing” — of him lip-locking with another glam rock enthusiast come to the fore. (read the full article)

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Filed under: American Idol |  Twisted Freak |
March 1, 2009
Hopes For The Queerest American Idol Ever Are Dwindling
by Rob Wolfsham

Right out of the gate, this could have been the queerest American Idol season ever, but at some point between Ryan Seacrest’s awkward gay banter with a v-necked Simon Cowell and Nathanial Marshall’s “Olivia Newton-John” headband, it veered into a bloodbath for homo-tastic hopefuls.

With Idol it doesn’t matter who’s actually gay, because we’re not rooting for people or who they actually are, we’re rooting for images, vibrations of air, and Ford-sponsored production, edited down to tug heartstrings and idealize the gooey residue of Americana that is Top 40 music. (read the full article)

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Filed under: American Idol |
May 4, 2007
The Men of Raging Stallion Handle Loss
by Nightcharm

Tender loving care at hard times like this

When you live to fuck and fuck to live there are few — precious few — moments that throw a wrench into your spectacular cum flow and shut the whole Vegasy water show down.

Such was the moment last Wednesday, at approximately 9:57 in the evening, when the men of Raging Stallion — whom on happier days we refer to as a stable of studs, as a stampede of rambunctious ponies — came face to face with grief as they witnessed the sudden, shocking going of Chris from the American Idol stage.

Not Chris, not Chris! — the cry went up. Hunky, quarterback-chested boy-beauty Chris! He of the Justin Timberlake scalp stubble, the glittery ear studs in each ear, the athletic neck of such promising thickness!

For Chris!A pall fell over the men crowded into the TV room, for the sling room had been emptied and all filming had stopped throughout the studio as it always does during the Results show.

Each man sat sunk in his own private thoughts with nary a concern for how he was hanging at the moment, vaguely aware that his major manhood was modestly — but ah, not completely, never completely — concealed by a towel.

Instead all eyes were on Chris, who was going out, in the cruel tradition of the show, bravely: singing his — alas, still tuneless — final, losing song.

And while we’d like to say a tear was shed in that room, it wasn’t. Porn stars — like Joan Crawford in The Damned Don’t Cry — have to conserve their liquid flow for the camera.

Different people handle grief differently. Stallion stars Vincenzo and Sarib (above) immediately went before the cameras and starting fucking like rabid dogs. This was their therapy. (read the full article)

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Filed under: American Idol |  Dirty Pictures |
April 12, 2007
The Rutgers Girls, the Duke Lacrosse Boys and Sanjaya
by John Calendo

Image AssassinationImage, communications experts tell us, is all about what you look like and sound like, but has very little to do with what you are actually saying.

And the power of one’s image is the theme running through two recent columns from our favorite gal reporter, the Pulitzer Prize winning fashion writer Robin Givhan.

Givhan’s special gift is her ability to read the pop-cultural information in the way hair is combed or a suit is worn. Her columns, nominally about clothing, are more likely to be about the cultural impact of a pop celebrity or politician — she has written about Condi Rice (”Rice’s coat and boots speak of sex and power … a volatile combination … that in political circles rarely leads to anything but scandal”) as well as Dick Cheney (”The vice president was dressed in the kind of attire one typically wears to operate a snow blower.”)

Thus it was with relish that we read her column today which connected the powerful visual jujitsu of the Rutgers basketball girls with the Duke Lacrosse boys. Both teams were coming back from a barrage of racial slurs and both were the prime players in near simultaneous press conferences: (read the full article)

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Filed under: American Idol |  Fashion |
April 5, 2007
The Last Word
by Nightcharm
 
  Idols will be idols.

 
 

OMYGAWD!

It’s our favorite porn dream come true! Whenever these two outrageously cute American Idols hit the stage our wicked minds race to undress them. Then we toss blond-streaked Blake and hypnotically slate-eyed Chris together and … well, wait to see what pops up.

And we thought it was a dream. And guess what! It is, apparently. Courtesy of Photoshop…

OR IS IT?

hat tip to Towleroad

©2007 Nightcharm

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Filed under: American Idol |  The Last Word |
May 24, 2006
I Wish I Knew How To Quit You, Elliott Yamin
by David K.

Considering whether I would watch last night’s American Idol showdown reminded me of one of Samuel Goldwyn’s classic malapropisms: “You’ve got to take the bitter with the sour.”

Preferring to do neither, the boyfriend and I skipped the battle of the dullards. We will, however, TIVO tonight’s finale because Elliott Yamin is scheduled to perform with the new Queen of Soul, Mary J. Blige Fuckin’ A, E!

Yesterday my bitter mood regarding Elliott’s ouster finally lifted. I got sane and started to rethink things — to reevaluate the play of the Fates. Soon a lot of silver linings began to sparkle through the cloud cover, and I began to feel that my boy pulled off the best of all possible outcomes for himself. He matured as a man, deepened as a vocalist, earned a gigantic fan base, and, by placing third, escaped the clutches of the vampiric Clive Davis and the draconian contract from American Idol’s 19 Management. All of that made me happy. Which made me reflect on all of the qualities I came to appreciate about Elliott Yamin throughout the competition.

Here then are 10 Reasons Why I Love Elliott Yamin and why I’ll remember him long after this season of Idol fades to blah. (read the full article)

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Filed under: American Idol |  David K. |
May 16, 2006
American Idol’s Grassy Knoll
by David K.

Of course I’m making reference to the small patch of land that became infamous following JFK’s assassination in 1963. It has been speculated that extra gunshots were fired — in synch with Lee Harvey Oswald’s — from the bushes of the knoll, doubly insuring the president’s demise. In a similar conspiratorial spirit I offer you my observations about last night’s big Idol sing-off and why hidden forces worked extra hard to guarantee that Elliott Yamin would not be back for his well-deserved Kodak Theater moment.

It’s a freaky coincidence how the first singer to begin each year’s Final Three show is the Idollette voted off the following evening. This mystery has proven true since Idol debuted four years ago. Elliott, of course, went first last night.

The AI band, lovingly referred to by detractors as Bandzilla, was set on stun and destroy whenever Elliott took the stage. The effect was like watching a small boat negotiate gigantic waves and treacherous tides on its journey home. To stay the course Elliott had to push his voice hard and then compensate for the extra effort by losing some of his natural flair. Even with the extra contorting, he never wavered — despite the higher key he used to churn out the cheese during Count Chocula’s pick for him: Journey’s Open Arms. (read the full article)

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Filed under: American Idol |  David K. |

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Brit journalist Mark Simpson, father of the term metrosexual, calls Nightcharm.com the "thinking onanist's website." We think that's an objective description of what we're about. For the past ten years Nightcharm has delivered the best in naked men pictures, high octane gay erotica and bang-up blogging on gay sexuality, art, film, music and queer pop culture. Our free gay blog is supported by memberships to our hardcore porn site The Inner Circle. If what you like up front makes you want to do something nasty in the back, please consider becoming a member today.

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