Dick in the News!

Dick in the air.

Dick … everywhere.

Yes, boys and girls, as if we needed to be told twice, Penis Rules.

So it is only right — only our journalistic duty in action — that we introduce a rude and lewd regular feature: The Week in PENIS.

To help us inaugurate this our first penile roundup, we present for your perving pleasure Kasey Kahne (nickname: Gameboy), at left, a NASCAR hottie who is sure to get into a pissing match with one of this week’s news flashes.

The report, which you will find below, tells of a campaign to link fast cars to a certain lack of gravitas in the ol’ bulge department.

Not that we would ever fall for such foolishness.

Cars peeling out of tight spaces at high speed with lots of varooming and tire squealing will always give us a chubbie. For us, it’s the gay equivalent of Barry White. It’s Let’s Fuck music at its best. The sound of stompy, raunchy, dumb-as-shit stud stuff.

But we tarry. Here it is then, from around the world and around the block: (more…)