A gay parody of pretty much every male grooming product ad that should be expressly marketed to gay men but feels compelled to tack-on a chick at the end who nuzzles the male model’s silky-smooth cheek or runs her fingers through his well-conditioned locks.

The telenovela’s single greatest achievement: perfecting the spectacle of hissing drag queen manqués in mall wear whalin’ on each other.

Do check out On The Set’s amazing array of TV set dollhouse replicas (he’s stacked, by the by), including this jaw-droppingly awesome miniature take on The Golden Girls set.

Struggling to find the perfect gift? In need of some novel gift-giving inspiration? Antipathetic toward gift baskets and scrapbooks?

Here are some must-haves that are sure to satisfying giver and receiver alike.

For the film connoisseur in your life:

The Falcon 35th Anniversary Box Set boasts for fucking decades of boner-baiting, haunch-banging, ass-blasting action, beginning with the heyday of the porn-stached ’70s and continuing down the loooong line to the cum-basted New Millennium. Classic scenes from The Other Side of Aspen, Spokes, The Abduction, California Kings, and The Farmer’s Son are just a few of the delights included in this epic retrospective. See! icons like Al Parker, Casey Donovan, Kevin Williams, Chad Douglas, Ken Ryker, Tom Chase, and Roman Heart poundin’ ass and sprayin’ loads. 5 discs! 35 Scenes! Over 11 Hours! Sure, you’ll probably develop Carpal Tunnel Syndrome by New Year’s, but what a way to wear out your wrist by celebrating the true meaning of Christmas.

For the boy who has everything:

Anything that promises a hands-free orgasm is bound to get you a good thank you card.  The Euphoria Enhanced Prostate Massager is a toy for boys that promises just that. As a cheaper alternative to Aneros line of prostate massagers, the Euphoria will get your rocks off without breaking the bank.

A quick lesson on how this works, a prostate massager allows you to use your pubococcygeus (PC) muscles alone to stimulate your prostate, i.e. the male g-spot. Look ma, no hands!

If you wanna see this bad boy in action check it out.

For the unappeasable techie:

The I-Pad, it dragged me kicking and screaming into the 21st century and now that I’m here I’m never looking back. Yes its pricey, but you can read books on it, check email, do work, play games, write music, and more. Most importantly, you can look at porn on it (Preferably Nightcharms’ Porn). Was the web made for anything else really?

For the rest:

Sometime it’s best to just keep it simple. I’ve always found a blow job suffices. Happy Holidays!

If you have yet to buy Christmas presents, instead of getting out of it by claiming Scientology like I’ve tried, here is a great idea for the last minute shopper and their loved ones,  or those to whom they are legally bound.

Amy Sedaris, best known for her character, Jerri Blank, in the Comedy Central show Strangers with Candy, has taken on crafting in her new book Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People. Remember when you were a kid and nothing brought you more joy than some glue, an old egg carton, and a giant box? With Simple Times, Sedaris is going to take you back to those times, or perhaps make you regret them.

A follow-up to her first book I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence, Simple Times moves from faux-domesticity to crafts. With chapters covering topics such as confectionaries, handicraftables, the joys of poverty, crafting for Jesus, and crafting for the dead (and other celebrations); Sedaris provides absurdity and comedy, with some  surprisingly useful tips.

“Everything inspires me, I did some research, but a lot of the crafts are things you’ve seen before, Girl Scouts junior achievements… It’s celebrating all of those crafts we saw growing up…I hate crafts, can’t stand them actually, you can tell what crafts I’ve made because they look dangerous; but I’m good at finding people that are really good at something, and giving them an idea.”

The book features hilarious pictures of Sedaris in costume as a hippy, elderly shut-in, Native American, Jesus, and more. The pictures themselves make it a great coffee table book. Simple Times, despite it’s questionable practicality, will certainly get some solid laughs.

Hat tip to avantpost

I’m in a bit of a late ’70s/early ’80s glossy Women-In-Jeopardy movie phase right now (The Eyes of Laura Mars, Tattoo, The Fan, A Stranger Is Watching) and since Cruising ditches imperiled models, fashion designers, and shutterbugs in favor of just applying all the conventions to provocative, metropolitan men, I had to pick up this secondhand copy of the Gerald Walker 1970 novel — which I frankly didn’t know even existed — when I spotted it atop a street vendor’s stand.

The Killer: He makes love to women, but only the feel of his knife penetrating a man’s body can satisfy him.

Two men stalking Manhattan’s shadowed streets, bars, parks, places where men meet men. Both hunting. Both obsessed. Lured closer and closer to each other. Across the line between cop and killer. Into the terror of homicidal compulsion.

Best of all, this is the 1980 tie-in reprint for the movie, so the cover has an Al Pacino clone getting eyed by a dead ringer for Robert La Tourneaux.

Hips or lips!

This one’s gonna take me a while to walk off.

I knew I had to cover it. I understood it ran contrary to everything I value. I accepted that it was going to be tough going, but I tried to convince myself that it couldn’t be as bad as I anticipated.

There’s a reason I’m a glass-half-empty kind of guy.

Logo’s soul-searingly bleak The A-List: New York — the title depressingly implies that like some of sort of viral pandemic, the phenomenon will manifest in other urban locales — actually physically made me ache. This is huddled-up-and-crying-under-the-shower head anguish. Imagine if everything you hate about women at their lowest — the sneering materialism, the men-as-arm-decoration reverse chauvinism, the “You want me — but you can’t have me!” bitch goddess preening — could have a dick transplanted onto it. That’s the central premise for The A List: six men who’ve gladly surrendered everything stoic and dignified about being male for the sake of wallowing in the catty, vacuous pursuit of effete luxury. (read the full article)

Some of us have to come out twice — once as gay, and then again as gay geeks.

Whenever Comic-Con rolls around, I realize what an awkward and ungainly social path I tread. Geekery is still thought of as a heterocentric — and exclusively male — subculture that’s the antithesis of urbane gay culture: an underworld of homebound, social anxiety-ridden malcontents who have virtual girlfriends and chronic asthma.

Shiftless. Graceless. Sexless.

That stock character from an ’80s teen comedy is seeming old hat as of late; as geekdom moves aboveground, we now know that there are cute geek girls who look like twee Anime characters and typical suburbanites who desperately want to spread for vampires and werewolves, while the mythological gay geek has been revealed to actually exist as he walks camouflaged among his more standard-issue homo brethren. (read the full article)