Our favorite fathers of mindfuck, the Italian designers Dolce and Gabbana, are busy seducing farmboys again. This time they have cast their dusky, decadent magic over Canadian mega-model Andrew Stetson.

Stetson is the languid sleeping beauty in Calvin Klein’s new Euphoria cologne campaign (right). A blond, blue-eyed 28-year-old from Ontario who has but a simple dream: to earn enough money as a supermodel to one day purchase a hunk of land and use his carpentering skills to build his own home. Kind of brings a tear to your eye.

But that was before his recent tangle with the wild boys of Milan, Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana. After his recent appearance in D&G’s summer menswear show, we are forced to ask (cue The Shangri-Las:) Can Andrew ever go home again?

The top photo documents an array of menacing mutations — signs that Andrew’s time in Milan has transformed his healthy outdoor tan into D&G’s trademark nightlife wan. A skin hue not unlike the blanched airbrush effect of a Pierre & Gilles photograph. (more…)

Nobody can screw up a room like a gay man on a mission.

All the mythology about the deft taste of gay men may be great to keep the rubes shelling out the big bucks to home decorators with fire in their eyes — but buyer beware. Lemmings are committed to a vision too.

One thing that gay men have in abundance is taste. Not necessarily good taste. Just tons and tons of vivid taste.

And this aesthetic imperative, this relentless ordering of the world into “pretty” (or “trendy” or “ugly beautiful”) boxes, smacks up against another gay imperative. The swinish male onrush to have sex everywhere and with everyone. (more…)

Remove your hair with this wax, that cream, our laser, electrolysis, snake oil, Auzzie Nads, Nair … choose your weapon now!

Is it that important that we wage war on our body hair? How long has this been going on? What sick mind set the wheels in motion that we should venerate the hairless and look down on those gifted with a nice chest of fuzz? Do a search on the web for “body hair” and I challenge you to find one site that doesn’t demand you join the fight against unsightly body hair.

You’ll find three things: body hair removal techniques, Rogaine ads, or pages about hair fetishes.

Bust out a porn magazine (not Bear or Honcho) and you will not find anything but shaved chests, bald ball sacks, and depilated ass cracks. Same goes for almost all porn movies presently. When did hair get so disgusting to us that we need to remove it from the places it was supposed to be? Was there a big memo about killer crab lice? (more…)

Things To Do This Summer:

1. Do everyone who looks like a Glen Hanson illustration (right), and everybody who doesn’t. Get out there and spread the joy, boy!

2. Catch Project Runway from its first show, Wednesday, July 12, and never miss an episode. Can there ever be enough dizzy male designers breaking into showtunes as they cut along the bias and compete for the top spot? Exactly how obnoxious is the humorless Heidi Klum, the mistress of ceremonies whose pregnancy was forced on us last season in supposedly “edgy” maternity-wear? (No, gals, pregnant women are not all beautiful, no matter what you try to tell yourself.) And of course, Tim Gunn, who is always so earnest and prissy as he gives the budding designers his professional opinion before each competition. We love Tim. How could anyone not love him? How could anyone not want him as their personal ‘mo coach? (more…)

Who’s that boy!

That is the question we’ve been deluged with this week after running our Easter special Great Moments in Jesus. You’ll find the object of this mass affection there, in a glow of gold, as the fashion model on the runway. Easily, as in the case of the Easter god he resembles, this beautiful man could give sight to the blind.

He is Anderson Dornelles, known to his understandably obsessive male fans as “Sexy Jesus.” We are no strangers to this obsession. The compassionate looking sexbomb has long been on our radar — if not, alas, our gaydar (who knows?)

Let’s just say he is Brazilian.

And like all Brazilians, shedding his clothes and posing for pictures is as natural to him as walking the nude beach at Corcovado, under the shadow of a colossus Jesus, God of Love, who looks down on his golden children with outstretched arms and is well pleased.

High-end runway model though he be, a habitué of London, Paris and Milan, Anderson (the first name so English) Dornelles ( coupled with the French romance of the last) captures the easy internationalism of Brazil. (more…)

Lets us linger on Ashton Kutcher for a moment. The very young Ashton when he was a boy model in New York.

Ah, the face!

The lovely, softly inflected torso!

Now were you thinking of NOT going to the gym today? Think again, amigo. Wondering if it’s worth it to get a little nip-and-tuck repair on the old bod, the uncomely face?

Money well spent, Jack.

So says Richard Morin of the Washington Post, who reports a new study that confirms what every ugly ducking high school student knows in his bones. Ugly people commit more crimes.

Like we couldn’t see that coming!

Let’s review the basics. Long story, short:

Once upon a time Primetime, or one of those news-u-tainmentt shows, ran an experiment. Two women were stranded with flat tires. This was in the pre-cell phone age. (more…)

Big Shakeup on the Fashion Runways! Bye Bye Hunk-a-roonies. Hello Waif Boys. That’s the report from our gal in Venice, Paris, London, and New York:

Our gal, of course, is the great Robin Givhan, Fashion Writer Supreme, for the Washington Post. Robin, sensible oracle that she is, has her eye on male models:

Apparently a significant number of parents have stopped insisting that their sons eat their vegetables, drink their milk and take their Flintstones vitamins. This group of under-fed boys is growing up to become models and threatening the self-esteem of men who always cleaned their plates.

Kick sand in their faces if you want. They will keep on coming. And their hair will be perfectly tousled.

(more…)

In the immortal words of Susan Powter: Stop The Insanity. We know it’s only an ad campaign, but who wouldn’t run for a copy of Zolar’s Dream Dictionary to make sense of Dolce & Gabbana’s latest excursion into Consumer Mind-Fuck?

Not even Freud could decipher this hallucination. (more…)