Cucumbers & Lady Fingers: Checkin’ In To The Hotel Adonis

This is the sort of Glamour Shots by way of Frederick’s of Hollywood elegance that only Sheena Easton, Kelly LeBrock, Vanity, or a Landers Sister circa 1985 could pull off. Bonus points for the subtle phallic imagery and reverse sexism, and for the blond with the bleached crew cut who looks like the condom broke when Dolph Lundgren and Brigitte Nielsen had a brief fling — the combined effects of their Aryan super genes producing a being not quite of this mortal coil.

Flying Solo: A Sticky-Fingered Gay Icon Does Hard Time

A reluctant gay pin-up of yesteryear is officially clink-bound as of this month.
Scott Madsen, the iconic ’80s spokesomodel for Soloflex, now 48, was sentenced in mid-January to two years in the big house for getting creative with the cash flow of Adair Financial Services in Washington during his tenure as General Manager — as in pocketing 250K for himself.

Love, Sidney: Dusting Off A Skeleton From The Ghostly TV Closet

The Valley of Lost TV Series.
As a wayward demographic, it’s a place I visit often, a mist-shrouded swale where the shades of TV series past — the misbegottenly terrible, the cheesily dated, and the brilliantly canceled who never got their just due — wander in eternal limbo.
DVD has been a veritable treasure trove that’s been the path of deliverance for some; you’re apt to find, say, a crypto-sleuthing Night Stalker, a studying-abroad She-Wolf of London, and an antioxidant-powered Swamp Thing channeled from the Spirit World via my Plasma, but what about the lost souls remembered by only a select few?

Trapped In A Box: Tales From The Crypto-Queers

Gay spectatorship: it used to be all about deciphering.
Before True Blood, Glee, Ugly Betty, and Modern Family, gay characters in television tended to be canny in-jokes among writers; the game was to see how far gay signifiers and innuendo could be pushed so as to register with one smaller audience while completely going over the head of another broader one.

One Tiny Stone’s Throw: A Salute To The Great Mimbo Uprising

History isn’t only about the winners: it’s about the big moments. Personal plights and small-scale victories can often be lost like individual grains of sand through the hourglass. Gay Liberation focuses on the game-changing plays: the battle between the gays and the Smoke Monster during the Stonewall Riots, Anita Bryant getting her head lopped off by sword-wielding Steve Reeves after he blinded her with the haze off his pecs, the American Psychiatric Association classifying Christianity as a morbid but curable form of sexual arousal toward ghosts and zombies, and the Daughters of Bilitis raiding Los Angeles to rescue Barbara Walters from Roy Cohn.

Man Candy Love In Lynchville: The Last Exit To Twin Peaks

“Itâ’s like I’m having the most beautiful dream and the most terrible nightmare all at once…”

It’s the gorgeous, mooningly Lynchian line delivered by a good girl in love in a bad way that’s always epitomized the eternal appeal of Twin Peaks for me, arguably the cult show that turned everything that came before it on its head while setting the new standard for everything that came after.

Oy, Larry: “I didn’t, the Facebook did.”

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“Peter Pan Had A Plan!”: A Tongue-Twisting “Touch” Of Heaven

Presenting an assembly-line floorfiller from the early ’90s heyday of Bitch-Can’t-Sing Italo House that became a dance chart Number 1 smash and a gay club staple thanks to its perfectly-balanced piecemeal design: typically ace production by super producer Gianfranco Bortolotti, some seriously ballsy sampling, a pulsating bass line worthy of Bomb The Bass, hilariously inept lip-synching, then-innovative video effects, and an unintelligible chorus ranking up there with Manfred Mann‘s “Blinded By The Light” — interpreted as anything and everything from “Peter Pan had a plan!” to “Take a perv at my pants!”