April 12, 2010
The Pussy Paradox: Power, Punishment & The Jism Schism
by Shawn Baker
Three Nuts In Search of a Bolt


You don’t want to know how it’s made.

That admonition is usually reserved for referring to certain foods, but it can extend to other products of dubious concoction. Like porn. Specifically, straight porn.

If mainstream gay porn’s personal tumult is whether to doff condoms to compete with encroaching cut-rate bareback productions and a tough economic climate, then top-tier straight porn finds itself questioning just how far is too far when it comes to raunch. I’ll freely admit to enjoying more high-class straight productions based on the new wave of built and attractive male stars they employ. Still, if I avoid condomless gay porn because I think it tends to present performers at their worst, then low-budget gonzo-style straight porn is equally repellent to me.

As its style and tone could worryingly become the new industry standard, I have to wonder if there is some fundamental difference between the straight male and gay male libidos. When we seek out skin flicks, do we really want the same things from them, and are hetero men bringing something to the table that’s foreign and unintelligible to us? For all the adverse drubbing gays take for being supposed perverts and freaks, is there a weird and vicious motivation in the straight male sex drive that’s pandered to by porn merchants and thus implicitly encouraged? (read the full article)

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Filed under: Dirty Movies |  Porn-o-copia |  Psyche |
March 21, 2010
Douchebagz Doin’ It With Flash & Flair, Y’all! : A Porn Niche Is Born
by Shawn Baker
guido_gay_sex

Back when I penned a paean to my knee, um, jerk yen for Guidos, I both anticipated and begged for a Guido-related porn subgenre to emerge. West Hollywood and Eastern Europe have been mined to death, and I’m not so smitten with the umpteenth guy named Tad or Skylar, so when the Jersey Shore straight porno parody hit, I knew a gay-themed entry full of spray tans, sports bands, Ed Hardy wear, gold chains, and blowouts had to be imminent. I mean, what better way to spend my hard-earned porn screed cash than delighting to the sights of hairless man-children tenderizing each other’s steroid asses while adding a superfluous z-sound to “you” or “they”?

Now it is upon us.
(read the full article)

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Filed under: Douchebags |  Porn-o-copia |
March 18, 2010
“Suck Wildly My Dick!”: Hungarian Sexspeak, Lost In Translation
by Shawn Baker
"You will suck upon our big dicks with much fervor!"

It’s about more than just dicks and ass.

The misconception is that women are auditory sexual beings, while men are strictly visual. You can apparently throw any sexual scenario up in front of us, and regardless of concept or presentation, as long as there’s something to feast the eyes on, it’s enough for us. Ours is not an aural, tactile, or evocative libido; it’s strictly visceral, merely hit-it-and-forget-it.

Nothing is more tedious to me in porn than two guys going at it with zero set-up while all their nasty play-by-play is completely drowned out by a generic canned porno score. I need to hear the give-and-take trash talk, and even more implicitly, I need to experience the sounds of sex: the gritting of teeth, the straining of the voice, the pounding of pelvis against ass, and the slapping of balls against balls.

Upon first encountering the Hungarian gay porn genre, the visual differences between it and our own domestic product were marked enough to make them novel: a warm, gauzy ambience, often set outdoors; inexhaustible casts of short, gymnast-bodied man-boys playing lusty gypsies, randy soldiers, and Daisy Duke-wearing mountain jocks; plenty of awkward sexual transitions wherein clothes magically vanish; and an array of fluid, yoga-like sexual positions that I imagine could result in some serious dick sprains if miscalculated.

What inexplicably did it for me, though, was the insane, Rosetta Stone-gone-wrong subtitling. As if the dialogue set pieces — replete with super-arch exchanges that wouldn’t be out of place in a ’60s Sword and Sandal epic — weren’t enough, the sundry ass-banging commands the men dole out to each other had me immediately reaching for a pen. I’ve since amassed my faves (all integrated into my own personal repertoire), and now present them to you from Hungary, with love. Please to enjoy with interest!: (read the full article)

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Filed under: Dirty Movies |  Porn-o-copia |
February 16, 2010
There’s Something For Everbody: Niche Porn Title of The Week
by An Unpaid Intern
Butterface

Priceless ad copy:

You know these guys — great bod, great abs, great…wait a minute — everything Butt-A-Face! Ya know, the guy you’d pick up in the last few minutes before closing time at the bar, only after you’ve had a few. See these Butt-A-Face boys get fucked, sucked & jacked off on. It’s like going to the bar, but it won’t cost you and you’ll get laid.

Safe to presume that agents received some livid phone calls after this hit the shelves.

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Filed under: Dirty Movies |  Porn-o-copia |
February 14, 2010
Friends With Benefits: Even Porn Stars Gotta Pound The Pavement
by Shawn Baker
With My Mind On My Money

Only two highly symbolic locales ever seem to be perpetually invoked to embody the disparities of our fiscal meltdown: Main Street and Wall Street.

Are Andy and Opie Taylor having to ally with those hillbilly moonshiners in order to continue to afford their fishing lures, and is Patrick Bateman’s Amex Gold Card being refused when he tries to order a coterie of high-end escorts after killing his accountant with a power drill?

But what about Easy Street in Pornopolis? Does no one care about the sacrifices and indignities our favorite gay porn gods have had to endure in a sharp and jagged downturn?

Gay porn is really a subsidiary of the male escort/sex worker scene, lucrative in its own right, but still mainly functioning as a virtual PR firm and calling card for the sex brokers. Long-believed to be recession-proof along with other “vice”-related industries, even All-Male Action has taken a serious hit in the past two years. Revenues not just for DVD and magazine sales are down, but so are the returns for Web-based smut and the dancing circuit. Many is the urban escort who’s resigned himself to turning fewer high-roller tricks in favor of a more economy class clientele, and personal training and/or massage therapy bullet points are not necessarily placed in ironic quotations in resumes anymore. A top-tier star’s name and face just don’t ring up the dollar signs like they did five years ago. (read the full article)

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Filed under: Fame Whore |  Porn-o-copia |
December 8, 2009
The Last American Porn Virgin?: Lost, Burning Youth In Pornopolis
by Shawn Baker
FilthyTrash!“All you kids make me sick! You act like little Miss Muffet and down inside you’re dirty! Do you hear me? Dirty!

Such is the hilarious moral condemnation spewed at teen trash selling their bodies to illicit porno-peddlers in schlockmeister Herschell Gordon Lewis’s gutterfest Scum of The Earth.

In a bygone genre devoted to the exploits of Teenage Gang Debs, Cocaine Fiends, and Untamed Youth, no greater shame was borne by the sinner than the curse of being a callow, surly youth wallowing in smut for thrill and profit at the behest of the flesh trade. Only bad kids use their bodies as toys or chattel! “Well you listen and you listen well: you’re damaged merchandise — and this is a fire sale!”

“Eat me, Pops! I’m the sale of the century!”

The accidentally-determined outcome of a Canadian sex research project conducted in Montreal and devoted to the male sex drive — the 97th such probe this year alone — suggests no youthquaker is squeaky clean enough for Riverdale or New Eden.

The mission statement: ascertain effects of porn viewing on college-aged heterosexual males. The intended control group: young men with pristine, virginal eyes who’ve never watched a fuck flick, never gotten a paper cut from dry humping a skin rag, and never had to wipe down their keyboards after losing control of a rogue pop shot.

The hitch: none could be found, prompting the researchers to reach the conclusion that “guys who do not watch pornography do not exist.” If you’re like me, you’re probably thinking “Also, water is wet,” while still entertaining at least a half-hearted cynicism about such a sweeping claim.

RodNet

The project involved a mere twenty-odd twenty-something male volunteers — not exactly a broad cross-section of the human condition by any means, and the fact that none were gay is conspicuous given the import gay porn plays in our own sexual identities. The conclusion may be more anecdotal than anything else, but it still begs the fascinating question:

Is there really any guy out there who is a porn virgin anymore? Is that even possible today in the era of Web Porn?
(read the full article)

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Filed under: Porn-o-copia |
August 15, 2009
The Dilemma of Gay for Pay — and Why it’s All Okay
by Rob Wolfsham
gayforpay

Straight dick in your mouth and ass. Does that turn you on more than if I said gay dick?

I love the weird meta-appeal of gay porn when the performers are advertised as straight. The obvious reasons are people want what they can’t have. Some would argue the culprit is self-hatred and negative stereotypes about the masculinity of gay men. Regardless of these social neuroses, “gay for pay” should be harmless fantasy.

What’s wrong with straight guys fucking men for money? Do we really expect high ethical standards in the porn industry? Seriously, half the stuff you’re jacking off to is degrading and humiliating anyway. Broke Straight Guys is a site I keep thinking back to. I’m certain the gross desperation of such a premise is meant to be a vague slight against general heterosexuality. Can you imagine the outrage if there was a “broke gay guys” website where homos were ordered to put peens in poons and eat vaginas with spoons? GLAAD would shit a horse dildo, i.e. how dare they exploit and victimize economically disadvantaged gay men into rejecting their true nature. (read the full article)

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Filed under: Porn-o-copia |
July 31, 2009
Hungary Like The Wolf: An Eastern European Skin Trade — Exposed
by Shawn Baker
ted_colunga_nightcharm

The San Fernando Valley and West Hollywood aren’t the only gay porn casting couches on the globe.

Thirty-odd years ago when it was regarded as just one of the clustered Eastern Bloc nations, Hungary was mainly famed in the West for goulash, being a cost-efficient locale where vampire B-movies could be lensed with castle and fortress backdrops, and for serving as the stalking grounds for the likely first and most prolific female serial killer in history, Elizabeth Bathory.

Present day, it’s the awe-inspiring and apparently renewable pipeline of genetically-gifted hard-bodies exported for Capitalist gay porn toil that’s put Hungary and the U.S. on mutually beneficial terms, even if only on the sly.

There’s no hyperbole in using the adjective Olympian to describe these guys; not only do they all look like they just stepped off a marble pedestal, but many have some connection to pro bodybuilding, competitive wrestling, hockey, or fitness modeling. Their ranks don’t appear to be born so much as they descend to earth fully-fleshed and destiny-bound for the first plane out to Pornoville, USA.

fernandonielsen_nightcharm

There’s everybody’s favorite, the jaw-dropping and multi-aliased Ted Colunga (top, from Men At Play), whose body becomes more impossibly perfect as he seems to draw vigor form the very ground in Antaeus-like fashion. Back-that-muscle-ass-up Fernando Nielsen (left) is just as rightfully beloved as a veritable demi-god among muscle bottom lovers. Smooth-as-butter Marc Dievo is always ready to spread. Julian Vincenzo’s so sultry that a bat of his eyes could melt tungsten.

Muscleheads slutting it up for bucks in porn features has become so ubiquitous stateside that only bodybuilding industry insiders and muscle fanboys flip out about it anymore. Add to that web cams and the sea of solo muscle worship porn, and the line between the bodybuilding circuit and the porn arena gets hazier by the year. (read the full article)

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Filed under: Porn-o-copia |  Studs |

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Brit journalist Mark Simpson, father of the term metrosexual, calls Nightcharm.com the "thinking onanist's website." We think that's an objective description of what we're about. For the past ten years Nightcharm has delivered the best in naked men pictures, high octane gay erotica and bang-up blogging on gay sexuality, art, film, music and queer pop culture. Our free gay blog is supported by memberships to our hardcore porn site The Inner Circle. If what you like up front makes you want to do something nasty in the back, please consider becoming a member today.

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