So much for the gays not being able to control themselves.

Hooliganism – casual chauvinism x public homoeroticism ÷ porn creep = Banned in U.S.

True Blood: This last episode, fabulous in so many Technicolor ways.

Absolutely over the top, we won’t even talk about how many sharks were jumped, as that is so last season. We expect True Blood not to be anything more than popcorn, which it is, caramel deluxe! And we expect any Alan Ball production to be dicks-a-plenty. D*i*t*t*o!

Let’s just say it was one impossibly hot naked chest after another. All of them with fuck faces that were testosterone in excelis.

The lines kept coming fast. I had trouble catching my breath. Whoever wrote tonight’s episode is a god.

There was this:

“We fucked as only two vampires can.”

And there was this, spoken in exasperation:

“That boy! He makes my ass itch.”

…Billy Jayne.

Some people mature into hotness, while others are born scorching. Giving birth to Billy Jayne had to result in second degree burns.

Jayne (alternately credited as Billy Jacoby) was the first person close-ish to my age that I was attracted to as a child — even as a youngin’, I was usually a slut for authority — and it helped that he was one of those young actors who regularly appeared on Big ’80s series like Benson, Silver Spoons, The Golden Girls, The A-Team, 21 Jump Street, and (DVD release, please) The Charmings. That made him familiar and approachable to me.

I distinctly remember imagining he was my boyfriend while I spun The Police’s “Every Breath You Take” and Blondie’s “Union City Blue” on my Fisher Price record player, and even though I had a rudimentary idea of what sex was at best — I continue to scoff at anyone who claims kids are “innocent” — I knew I wanted to do it with him. His wavy brunet locks, masculine Irish-Italian features, and husky voice turned me on and made him seem different from me. During my ’80s Sword & Sorcery obsession (it goes on), he played young Dar in The Beastmaster, which I found swooningly awesome. (read the full article)

Puttin’ the “cheese” back in Machismo!